I'am interested in a guy Ive known for a few months.He is in the military and a recruitor. I have seen him a few times --But we mainly use to chat on the phone more due to our schedules.I am very insecure about myself because I am heavy set and a single mom.I feel that I have alot to offer but often get shot down because of my weight( I Have had men tell me that they like my personality but due to my weight they have an issue of dating me and I dont want to lose my weight just to get a man).Anyways,I listened to my best friends advice and told my "crush" that I was interested in him.Then he totally stopped calling me altogether.I have talked to the other 2 recruitors he works with and they tell me that it ISNT that he doesnt want to talk to me but he is just busy.But how long does it take to call someone.I want closer.I want to know what I did to scare him off.Should I write him?Should I leave him alone?should I give him some time?is he afraid to show me his true feelings?HELP HELPHELP
2007-03-12 07:32:31 · 12 answers · asked by Tbrat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, I know this is only PART of your problem. If your weight is an issue, then IT IS a problem. Don't do it for others, do it for yourself! Do it to lift your self esteem, do it FOR YOUR HEALTH AND THE SAKE OF INSTILLING IN YOUR CHILDREN HOW IMPORTANT IS IT TO HAVE DISCIPLINE FOR FOOD. Do it for the sake of wearing nicer clothes, or not have such a hard time when buying clothes!
I know how hard it is, I have been there, and until you decide you've had enough, you will do something about it. I got tired of it too, and after leaving a horrible relationship, I did it for
myself.
Maybe next time you talk to your crush, you could tell him you've decided to take a new hobby, and if he has any pointers to get you started and keep you there. He will probably be happy for your well being, and being that recruiters do look at new recruits to meet weight standards, he will sympathize with you, and perhaps, help, join you, who knows!
In order to get someone interested in you, it helps that you are doing something positive for yourself. You might want to add your children to your new worksouts, so that they have a healthy, active lifestyle. You can start out slowly, by cutting out junk food slowly, switching to healthier alternatives, If you give it a few weeks, you'll see how good you feel, more energy, happier, I guarantee it!
AGAIN, do it for YOU, not for jerky guys who are shallow and immature, and cannot see the many wonderful qualities you have to offer.
Best wishes!!!
2007-03-12 07:44:48 · answer #1 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look from experience an being a kinda heavy set feamle, you deserve way more than that. I use to be really insecure about meself before, but i learned that just because some guy dont like me because of my weight dont mean that there is no other man out that will take as your are....if he cant see past the fact that you are heavy set then i really think that you should just forget about him. You deserve someone that well end up loving you as you are and love your baby, even though the baby is not his.
Like they say good things come to those who wait.
2007-03-12 07:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Momma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him space. I would let him make the next move. Don't call, write or anything else. Maybe he just needs time to think about what he wants and maybe he's not interested. If the latter is true, you didn't need him anyway. You have a great personality, if the latter is true, you will eventually find someone great and loves you for who you are.
2007-03-12 07:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by DizziDazi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is because of your weight, SCREW him. But, I would just come out and tell him. Either he'll respond or he wont but at least you'll know. Just send him an e-mail or something. That way he's not put on the spot and feel threatened like a phone call would do. give him time. he may just be nervous too
2007-03-12 07:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey - leave him be. It sound to me like you need to take time for yourself and work on your self esteem. You don't need to chase anyone. When you are ready the Lord has a husband for you. Focus on you and your children - learn to be content without a man in your life and that is when the perfect gentleman will come along. Be PAITENT!! If you desire to lose weight then start there but not just to get a man. Do it for you and for your children- to be healthy for them.
2007-03-12 07:55:08 · answer #5 · answered by nainai_797 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"one that asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes; one that would not ask a question keeps to be a fool constantly." yet for me in no way,and that i solutions in straight forward terms that; as i'm a Journalist from Indian Institute of Mass communique. "First they forget approximately approximately you. Then they laugh at you. Then they conflict you. then you certainly win." - M.Gandhi Ji all of the wonderful FOR y'r style Questions .
2016-10-18 05:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some time maybe he is genuinely busy but if he is like the others an has an issue with u cos of your size then he is not Worth the bother hes not even worth the time it took you to ask the question.
i really hope things work out for good luck
2007-03-12 07:38:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try losing some weight. having relationships is not the only problem that people who are kinda fat come across with. if u lose some weight it will do u a lot of good apart from dating guys. try doing it naturally as artificial means comes with complications sometimes. trust me it will do u a lot of good.
2007-03-12 07:42:25 · answer #8 · answered by omo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't want to lose weight just to get a man? how about lose the weight to be healthy and live longer for your child... getting a man out of it is a bonus.... and plus... looking great gives you more option to pick a man... then you will not be the one to worry if he will call you... no pain no gain... get at it missy!!!
2007-03-12 07:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to lose weight, then do that. If not, find guys who like you the way you are. It's as simple as that.
2007-03-12 07:36:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋