Do women like certain gallantry from men, like open doors held for them, dinner dates paid in halves, etc?

Question

Open doors as in a door already opened and passed by someone who then holds the door seeing that someone is walking up to the door behind them, so they pause and keep the door open for them, until they get close enough (within fingertips or arms length) for them to hold the door themselves, et cetera

Answer 1

I appreciate it when anyone, man or woman, holds a door open for me as long as it's practical to do so, as in your example.

What I hate is chivalry that makes life more difficult; some guys are so eager to hold doors open that they'll rush and cut in front of you, or they'll try to open & hold a door when they have their hands full so it actually takes a lot longer for them to struggle with the door and then half-block it 'cause they are carrying so much! That is just soooooo ridiculous! I also don't like people 'helping' me into my coat because I can't ever find the opening for my arm that way, I'm really clumsy at that, I get it on myself in a fraction of the time it takes me when I'm 'helped'.

Door etiquette should be whoever reaches the door first holds it open for the next person, and whoever is not carrying loads of stuff holds it for the person who has his hands full. This has nothing to do with insecurity as one poster suggested, it's just so much more practical!

Answer 2

yes,door holding is good.i hold doors for whoever is behind me-male or female,young or old.its good manners and courtesy to treat others as u would like to be treated.i always say thank u for anyone who holds a door for me.i always say"im sorry" if i failed to see someone behind me,then the door starts to close on them,which can happen if u are in a hurry.in a lifetime of door holding.no one has been rude to me,evryone seems appreciative.ps- i live in the south,it is normal for males and females to hold doors,to let the other car go first,and things like that.its usually yankees(not all,but some)who think that "common courtesy" is offensive,and that evryone should just "watch out for number one."that pretty much sounds sad to me.we are all here to make each others lives a little better!

Answer 3

Wouldn't anyone like the door held open for them? I don't see that as gallant, just plain respectful.

And, after all, that's what I want from any person, but especially a man: respect.

As far as paying, I think whoever asks for the date should be willing to pay.

Answer 4

Oh yes. I always appreciate it. It's just a kind thing to do I feel when someone's coming behind you. I love it when women are treated with respect by men. Makes me feel great and I admire them for it. Usually, part of a man's character is known by the way he treats women.

But I dont think I understood your splitting dinner date example. That's always a tricky thing. I would actually like the guy to be gallant and pay, even though i WILL offer my half on the date. I'd like him to offer to pay not becoz I am saving money or I want to eat for free (what a cheap thing to do), but because I feel doing this just feels right to me for the closeness of the couple...and with the way our culture/society has been. Sorry. hard to explain :-).

Answer 5

It all depends on the woman.

I'm living in Richmond, VA. Went to a class in computer technology in Philly a few years ago. While in the class - me and my co-worker got teamed up with 2 women from New Jersey. We would go out together as a group to plays and dinners. My co-worker would open doors, etc for 1 woman - she loved it. The one I was with didn't like it.

One night we went to a restaurant. As is the custom, whenever we crossed the street to a different sidewalk, the men changed positions to be on the outside (why?). The woman I was with, blew up - told me I was driving her crazy and not to do that. the other woman, turned around and told her "that was how gentlemen treated ladies in the South and to shut up and enjoy it!"

My co-worker really laid it on thick after that. I stopped doing anything, I figure she could do it for herself.

Answer 6

I've been married to my husband for 11 years, and he still opens every door for me. In fact, he gets angry if I do it myself. In this modern world, where women are competing with men for the same jobs, the same titles, and the same responsibilities, men are having a hard time distinguishing themselves as protectors, providers, and rescuers of us fair maidens. We shouldn't kid ourselves. Men are just as romantic as women, and have romantic ideas about how "real" mean behave toward women. I do accept a held door as a gentle thing to do for a lady, and I do like it. As far as holding the door for the person behind you, isn't that just a politeness that anyone can assert? Isn't that the same as holding the elevator?

I do get annoyed sometimes, like when we're in a parking lot, and there isn't much space between our car and the next. There's a lot of maneuvering to do in order for him to open the door, get on the other side of it while I get in, and then shut the door and get around the side of the car to get in his side. What a bother! Or, if I get to the door of a building before him, I have to wait until he catches up, even if it's freezing.

Answer 7

Its so uncommon that I usually will do a double or triple take... but yeah, afterwards, its leaves a great impression!

I get frustrated when they insist upon opening/closing/holding car doors for me though, as it is usually quicker for me to do it myself.

Answer 8

It depends. Some women care, such as myself. I appreciate a man for treating me with respect. However, some women dont think its necessary, in my opinion its because theyll settle for less than they deserve.

Answer 9

Real women love it. Those who are offended by it are terribly insecure. They see every small gesture from every other living being as a reflection on their value in society.

Please continue to be chivalrous and ignore the skanks who are angered by a kind gesture. Women who are worth knowing appreciate it.

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Answer 10

I think both women and men appreciate seeing this quality in others, it's simply the kind thing to do.