Okay, so this guy I was seeing last year just decided to stop talking to me. We were having such a great time and all that good stuff until we had an argument and never patched things up and had a falling out. Months passed and I thought I was over him and, ta-dah, he texts and asks me what's up hope i'm doing well, as if nothing happened? I don't hate him or anything. In fact I want to see him again, if only to talk about what happened but I want to understand why guys do this. Do things usually sink in to your brains many months later after the fact? Do you think we girls will just forget what happened and take you back unconditionally? What is up with that really?
2007-03-12 07:24:57 · 14 answers · asked by Tammy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its called the "back up girl" its where they stop talking to yoiu cus they arent interested in you that much but they know that you are the kind of girl that they can use when they are alone i wouldnt get back with him
i had this done to me a couple times i latter talked to the guys and they said that they knew that they could call me up and get me to go out with them agian i have never gone out with an ex ever agian
2007-03-12 07:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a pretty loaded question and one that would require this guy you are talking about to look into his soul and heart. I used to be aloof sometimes (this seems a little more than that, but this is my attempt to explain) and each time it was for different reasons. I am the type of person that likes to have fun, and if things are going well, not to mess with anything. So, when I'd meet a girl, sometimes I would just rather be with my friends having fun rather than worrying about "saying the right thing". Granted, the right friends and the right girl would mesh together perfectly. Sometimes too, I would fear being trapped in one relationship- what if the grass really was greener etc... ok you can call that fear of commitment if you want. Sometimes, there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on about the girl, and my mind would tell me to call it quits, then I'd miss her company and would call-- these relationships probably should have just been friendships, but I guess I felt like I wasn't getting younger. Sometimes I would call up again just for a booty call- I know that sucks, but I am just being honest.
It's not easy for guys to express emotions-- we're not trained and wired for that. He may not give you an answer you find acceptable to him- so I would lay it on the line for him- tell him you were hurt when he left, tell him you wanted to patch things up, just lay it all out there- if he truly listens, keep him, if he gets pissed and acts like a jerk, show him the curb.
I know that I broke up with the woman who became my wife because I was scared to be in a relationship that was that committed and I felt suffocated and it would require a move either on my part or hers to make it work (I think long-distance works for a bit, but eventually goes south). After only a day or so, I realized I missed her a ton and felt empty without the promise of talking to her or seeing her, so I begged and pleaded to be taken back. Once I moved, I realized I made the right choice- now we're married with two beautiful kids. Good Luck!
2007-03-12 07:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by Mark B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys check back to determine which girls took on the position of 'waiting in the wings'. And 'wha-la' there you are, still the same phone number, still the same sucker that will respond to his calls, and still ready to hash out all the old stuff. And you still want to see him again....I'll bet you're hoping he'll be apologetic, explain what happened, how he feels now, etc. Well it aint going to happen girlfriend. He's still the same 'ole guy that left you in the dust. It'd be better to never acknowledge that he called....and then months down the road when you run into him you can tell him that someone else now has your phone. LOL
2007-03-12 07:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He more than likely found someone else that he was spending all of his time with, they broke up. He looks in his little black book and see your name and remembers that he enjoyed spending time with you and decided to give you a call or text to see if your still interested. He really and truly doesn't have to have a third degree on why he hasn't called or got in touch with you. If you really like him the best thing to do is leave well enough alone because he doesn't owe you anything. He was just dating you and why does he have to tell you why he stopped calling, he didn't want to at the time, that is the reason why. You weren't engaged to him just dating him so play it cool and let him tell you if he wants but don't pressure him, just leave it alone. Enjoy yourself with him.
2007-03-12 07:39:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't know!
Had the same thing happen with me, only it was a girl.
This girl will be gone for months, then call me out of the clear blue. Doesn't make any sense. Why do they do that? I don't know!
2007-03-12 07:29:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all girls have gone through something like this or something similar. I myself have gone through something like this, but the only reason they do that is because they need the attention or that opposite sex with them. Its a known fact, GUYS GETS VERY LONELY AT TIMES, so in order not to feel lonely, they will do anything to contact you, whether just texting you out of the blues. Its only natural because us girls things its out of the blues, but to them.. its no big deal. Its like hey im keeping in contact with you now.. but to us it is a big deal because you have already forgotten about them right? It's ok, the best thing for you to do is if you still care for him, let him know, if you dont then let him know, you dont want to lead him into thinking there's still hope. The ball is in YOUR COURT!!!
2007-03-12 07:41:36 · answer #6 · answered by cutelidogurl143 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, something similar recently happened to me and I was somewhat baffled, however, I responded positively (e.g I did not show that I held a grudge) but I did not put in so much effort to make us become as close as we once were. I guess his efforts and time will tell what will happen between the two, maybe you guys will rekindle your past or maybe he is just to be left in the past!
2007-03-12 07:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by Breann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's an awesome question! I wonder the same thing! I hope it works out with you guys.
2007-03-12 07:28:08 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it does finally sink in months later. Guys develop slower than women.
2007-03-12 08:00:55 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not as if nothing happened, and he's not forgotten it. he doesn't want to bring it up, really, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. he doesn't know how to word how he's feeling right now so just take it as his way of saying sorry.
2007-03-12 08:03:22 · answer #10 · answered by smethansmee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋