I'm seeing a guy who is divorced and has two kids. one is 14 and the other is 8 or 9. At the beginning of the relationship every thing was fine. we even talked about moving in together "until" later on down the road I talked to his ex about something and ever since then my boyfriend changed his mind about moving in with me because he says he doesn't fully trust me now. this happened last yr. before the holidays. I think around Aug. and he still can't forgive me. I'm also childless so I would like to have at least one kid but I don't know if my boyfriend will be able to financially support another kid since he has two of his own already. he is also in his mid-late 30's so I don't know if he'll have the energy, too. I also get jealous when his 8 yr old daughter is around because she gets most of the love and attetion from her dad not me so for these reasons and more I don't know if maybe we should just be friends or work it out because I do care about him.
2007-03-12 07:11:00 · 11 answers · asked by bettygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What in the world did you talk to his ex about that got him so mad that he can't forgive you? You already pointed out that you are jealous of an 8 year old who probably never sees her dad and SHOULD get all his attention and love.
Also, any time someone asks "should I stick around?" is a pretty good indicator that they should move on.
2007-03-12 07:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, I really don't blame him for not wanting to move in with you. Why would take it upon yourself and go talk to his ex? You sound like a busy body and if you wanted to know something, why didn't you ask him? I think not only should you move on and allow him to get a mature woman in his life, not one that is wanting to add more babies on top of the ones he already has and is jealous of a CHILD . I could not believe when I read that part about you being jealous of that man's child. You really need help. Weather you have 50 babies, he is gonna always love that kid of his and you are an outsider. Sure you may have a space in his heart, but you can never have the love and attention that his little girl get from him and the fact that you get mad over that shows that you are not ready for any kind of relationship nor are you ready to have babies. For your information, late 30's is still young. He just need a mature woman, because you really are not all there.
2007-03-20 01:55:03 · answer #2 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cant trust you, why are you with him. thats number one. Number 2, him and his ex have kids, you are obviously a part of his kids lives so therefor eyou have to contact his ex because of the kids. She has to know you’re a trust worthy woman but and it’s a very big but, if you talk to the ex about him, that will demeanor his attitude right away. that will push a man away because an ex will never be able to be trusted by you. there are obviously feelings that will alway sbe there so she will always tell him what you say, just to cause trouble. So my advice is to keep your options open, and honey if you are jealous by the affection of an 8 year old, then you shouldnt have kids because how do you think it will be if you and him have a baby? You wont get any attention at all
2007-03-20 13:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by Its only me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow up a bit. Jealous of an 8 year old? That is pathetic. Stop thinking about yourself. The children need him more than you do.
2007-03-12 14:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready in life for all his excess baggage from the prior relationship. I bet he is older than you by 4 yrs or more. Move on you can do better.
2007-03-20 10:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
those are all good points. and he should trust you no matter what if he loves you. older guys arent always great starting new relationships cuz they dont know how to start over. they have their old wife/girfriends habits or love in their head & thinks you are the same way. if u feel the love and dont think its right to split, then stay & try to fix da stuff u need fixin... but if u feel the love has gone down since da talkin to da ex, then split. but i really dont think he'll be up for being "friends"... dont count on it.
2007-03-12 14:18:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are a very foolish girl. Why should you take on a used older man with kids and a lot of baggage, who wants to "move in with you"...not marry you....and is worried you might find out too much about him from his ex wife!
Find someone else who has only you to worry about...and don't move in with him....find someone who wants you enough to marry you and take care of you for life. Anything else is a waste of time and your life!
2007-03-20 01:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you aren't really that interested in this guy. It also sounds like you have different goals from the relationship. I say drop him.
2007-03-20 01:09:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
caring and loving is two thing. see what your want in the relationship. you can still care for him as a friend.
2007-03-12 14:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty simple...leave this relationship. Sounds like too much trouble and not enough positives.
2007-03-12 14:15:36 · answer #10 · answered by HG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋