My mother is driving me crazy! I am 6 months PG/ with 2 children. She comes over and trys to help. Well, her help leads into a war! I am stressed out and cried out! Today was it for me. I sent her home. I feel she doesnt listen and has no communication skills. She is very frustrating to talk to. She has been single for about 30 yrs and only has herself to deal with. Thats why she doesnt understand communication. She does what she wants and doesnt listen when I try to explain simple tasks like the baby food in the microwave, or dont leave the baby in the high chair by himself (she'll walk away), she cant take criticism and will fight for hours. I tell her dont talk with her mouth full and she still does. To me its not lady like. There is just too much! Has anyone else had this experience. My mother was born in another country and I pretty much handle all her bills, I write her checks out, ablance her checkbook, make DR. appts....etc. BUT no more.
She has STREESED me out.
2007-03-12 06:56:49 · 10 answers · asked by Mammamia3 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would sit down and have a mother to mother talk with her. Tell her how you feel and that you cant deal with what is going on anymore. Maybe you two need to take a time out for a little while.
2007-03-12 07:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough spot. Especially since you do so much for her. I've just recently, learned to accept my mother for who she is. I was getting very upset with her for many reasons.
When we're on the phone I can hear her typing on the computer, she's not listening to a thing I say, then she lies and says it's for some other reason. I need her help with the kids, but she's always too busy. She'll help by buying them things, but i'd rather have her just be a grandma and spend time with them.
But I feel like it got to a point where I did tell her how I feel, and it didn't change a thing. I know she loves me and the kids, but she's only capable of what she already does, and I can't change her. If this is the case for you, you've told her and it doesn't matter, then you're in the situation i'm in. You're just stuck with everything basically the way it is. Getting someone to change at that age is very difficult.
Recently my mom was diagnosed with COPD which is lung disease and there's no cure for it. As long as she quits smoking, she can live a long time, but if she doesn't, she won't probably live longer than 5-8 years i've heard.
It's put things into perspective for me. I can't change her, I have to accept her for who she is, and hope that I don't lose her too early. She's only 56. And don't overly worry about her walking away from the highchair, you turned out ok right? And she raised you. Good luck.
2007-03-12 14:11:08 · answer #2 · answered by nymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read somewhere that a woman needs harmony in her life. or else it will turn upside down and no harmony leads to a mulfuctioned life and affects relationships. Most important, do what makes you most happy. Even if it means sending your mom away. U did right. u can still have a healthy relationship with her without her always around you. I have a friend who stopped breastfeed becoz it made her very irritable and in turn she takes it out on her hubby. So, she made a decision to choose her happiness/harmony over a small little thing like breastfeeding. So, try to enjoy your life coz it's not easy caring for kids...and u need time to pamper yourself or indulge in your own hobbies too. :)
2007-03-12 14:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by salut 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you're stressed, that's not good for the children. Just explain to her as thoroughly as possible how she can help you. If she still can't, tell her you need to be alone and hire a nanny or a helper or something. Good luck!
2007-03-12 14:03:15 · answer #4 · answered by rt1290 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of this is your hormones, so try not to say something you wil regret. Sit her down and calmly tell her you appreciate her help, but she is not helping if she doesn't do it your way. She's causing more stress and work. Congrats and Good Luck!
2007-03-12 14:39:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really know your mother, I am going to say, (I am a mother), and"some" mothers just do not want their children telling them what to do, my mother was like that, but it also sound like she does need you, and don't forget she comes from a different time, than you, they did things different when she was raising her children. I suggest be patient, but you do have to tell her the way "YOU" want your children raised. Hang in there!!!!
2007-03-12 14:05:20 · answer #6 · answered by Dotties 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell her this?
All mothers from other countries are like this, if that makes you feel better - I know from personal experience.
2007-03-12 13:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you mention another country ? Maybe you should move to one and leave her here. This I'm sure would help.
2007-03-12 14:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by felippie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT sounds like you "tell" her to do things but never "ask". You should feel lucky you have a mom that wants to help.
2007-03-12 14:01:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
isnt stress bad for pregnant ppl?? maybe bring that up
2007-03-12 15:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by ChikkitaBananaa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋