How do you deal with your kids growing up without having hurt feelings???

Question

My son is 18 almost 19. hes going to school but cant afford to get a place so he either stays with His dad or with me. we used to be so close but latley he prefers to stay with his father all of the time. he gets his own room there, and I have two outher toddler children plus my 12 year old and I think they bother him but, they are his siblings. at his dads my 12 year old has a different room and he pretty much gets the whole downstairs to himself. I cant afford A big house like my ex husband. I miss my son comming around,. I feel like somehow family isnt as important to him. I feel like we are growing appart. Im not trying to controll him but Ild like to see him more than once a week.
how do I deal with empty nest syndrome???

Answer 1

I haven't dealt with empty nest syndrome but I will very soon. I think your son is old enough for you to sit down and explain your feelings to him. I'm sure he isn't consciously staying away; and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the size of your house. I'm so sorry you miss your boy; I know I miss my son when he goes to his dad's (he's 16). Good luck.......

Answer 2

I have four sons. When I split with my ex, my yougest stayed with his dad because our homes were,nearly, in the same town and I could be there every day for my youngest, who at the time was eleven. I also have a career and I couldn't be home as much as my ex. My ex works the same 8 hours every day, which was better for my son. My ex and I parted friends and we , basically, set up the divorce with no support or visitation stipulation. Our son had 2 homes in 2 separate houses. We both saw him whenever we wanted. Well, the day came when my youngest's brothers would all leave, either for college or the armed forces. My ex remarried to a girl with 2 sons. Much younger than my son. He started to feel as if he wanted to be the youngest and, I think, missed the attention. He , ultimately decided to spend most of his time with me and my husband and hasn't slept at his dad's in a year. He stills sees his dad for dinner once a week and a movie every now and then. Of course, he splits the holidays and his birthday, so we can both spend time with him. My advice: Be patient....No one can replace a mom. No one. Your son may be enjoying his own space now, but, there is no place like home, especially if thats where mom is. One thing not to do is........talk about your ex to him. They just resent it and don't want to hear it.
Finally, if I don't hear from any of my boys, I call just to hear their voices and tell them; I love them......

Answer 3

I wish I knew, I am going through the same thing. I feel so un-needed.