I am the mother of 4 children and currently expecting. Can anyone explain to me why everyone is so judgemental and thinks that everyone should only have 2-3 kids. I take care of my children, I am very active in everything that they do, and they do not go without anything. I feel like everywhere we go people look at us like we are irresposible because we have so many kids. I love my kids and have always wanted more than 2-3 kids. My husband comes from a big family and I was an only child. Can anyone help me understand??
2007-03-12 06:20:16 · 33 answers · asked by BeThAnY 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
It's none of their doggone nosy business. But the fact is that people LOVE to be judgemental. As long as you are caring for your children and can adequately support them, have as many as you want!
I think part of it may be that some irresponsible people have children just to get things- a welfare check, whatever- and have children just so that they can continue being lazy and irresponsible. But as long as you're not one of those people (and it sounds like you aren't), just smile and tote those kiddies around like badges of honor. :)
2007-03-12 06:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by Robin J. Sky 4 · 7⤊ 2⤋
Because people don't understand how someone would want that many children.
I have two that I love more than anything, but even I will often say I should have stopped at zero. I think anyone what would want 5 has a screw loose (my parents had 5), but then that is just my opinion.
Most people understand how expensive it is to raise a child in today's environment both in money and time. You are not at the point with those kids too fully understand that yet. Of course I have a feeling it won't make any difference even when you do get there.
Good for you that you want a big family and can do what others are not willing too. However it is becoming rare and understandable that others find it curious to say the least.
2007-03-12 06:30:39 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people are guided by society's few of the perfect family (2.5 children). I have a friend with eleven children and hope to have four of my own. My family and friends all say that I should stop with just two, but I want a big family. With working mothers and a fast paced society it has become inconvenient to have a lot of kids. People are judgmental because 5 kids would not be their personal choice. They would look at you the same way if you had your nose pierced or a tattoo on your face. Personally I say do what feels right to you. As long as you love your kids and can provide for them more power to ya.
2007-03-12 06:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by thegarzas1861 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many kids great responsibility, only God knows what you are thinking. You are the best mother for your kids. Only your kids know who you are others doesn't know who you are and what's your stand. I'm sure if they are inyour place people still look at them irresposible. My advice is ignore them, don't worry be happy. Everybody have their own problems. The thing is how well we manage to solve it. For your info, I am a teacher and my wife is an outdoor instructor. As for me I have 3 kids all heroes. 3, 5 and 7 years old. Hyper active kids. My wife is always out station. So, my wife and I manage to handle the kids. If she out i'll take care of them and so is she.
2007-03-12 06:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by masterjoran fishermanfriends 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to assume people with several children are poor and too stupid to know how to not get pregnant, it's just plain ole everyday prejudice. It sucks that people look at you that way. But statistically families who are financially assisted by the state tend to have more kids than they can care for. This causes people to lump all people, even those of modest to moderate means, who have more than the nuclear 2 1/2 children. Just learn to ignore them or learn to speak up for yourself and say I'm proud of my life and my children and I don't care what you think. There is nothing wrong with having 5 kids or more, people just don't understand that just because they weren't loved as a child and there were only 2 of them that someone out there could possibly be a good parent with enough love for 5 kids. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-12 06:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by tylw85 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope they are not saying any thing negative about how many children you have but are looking at you because they are wondering how you can handle taking care of more than three children. That seemed to be what people were wondering when I'd go out with my five children.
Wishing you all the best with a healthy and happy baby.
2007-03-12 06:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its hard for people to understand because in this day and age women are more powerful and want their time to themselves and expect every other woman to feel the same way. they forget that some women want families and like to take care of their families while THEY concentrate on being important to people who don't really matter. I think it's great you are going on 5 kids. If i could afford it, and my husband had a more solid job, id do it too. i love kids and i love being a mom. If your good at it to hell with what they think. you go girl!
2007-03-12 06:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by meme142 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose when it is your own life you look at and don't look further it can be hard to understand others feelings. The world is a crowded place and getting more so every day. I know you love your children and love is something you never run out of, it can be spread out infinitely and never get any less. The problem is that other natural resources are not infinite. Food space, and the very air we breathe is getting harder and harder to come by.
By having more children than just your replacements for you and their father, to many people you come across ans being selfish, and taking more than your fair share from them and their children.
2007-03-12 06:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by Shakaar 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think people sometimes look at you and are a bit upset not because you have many children, but because they themselves couldn't handle it. I think people like you are amazing... I have a hard time keeping my wits about me with one baby, but having four... you must have superhuman strength!!! I think some people feel inadequete as parents themselves and then see you with your three or four children and it makes them feel even more helpless. That said, it doesn't matter what others think. You obviously love your children and provide for them, and that is all that matters. I think the greatest responsibility in life is having children and raising them right, and girl, you're doing great!
2007-03-12 06:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by day_eight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. Be excited for your upcoming arrival. This is your family not theirs. My husband and I are expecting #4 and our family and friends think we are nuts. They ask oh wow how will you handle your time w/ 4 kids? Or we've heard (our youngest will be 22 months when the baby is due) is so little herself, what will you do with two little ones? We've also heard you guys are crazy, brave, bunnies, etc. Just take all the comments and toss them out the window. Have fun w/ your family. Have a speedy L&D. ;)
2007-03-12 06:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by krispeds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely. I have 3 kids and am expecting my 4th and we intend to have at least one more after this (in about 5 years). People are soo very rude about fiosting their oppions on how big families should be upon you! You know what I tell them? My family, my choice.
2007-03-12 07:08:28 · answer #11 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋