My boyfriend and I have been going out a month, but we have been best friends for a year. We spend a lot of time together, almost every day. We have a great connection, both mentally and physically. However, I want to wait until marriage. He has had sex before and I've heard it's practically impossible to withold sex for too long after you've already had it. I love him so much and he has told me how much he loves me. He told me that yes, he does want sex because he is a guy, but not until I am ready, and he knows that is marriage for me. The other night things got a little out of hand and he moved my hand down to his area and he also started to "dry hump" me (sorry TMI I know) and I felt bad afterwards, and he felt bad for making me feel bad. I would do anything for him, but he respects my decision. I almost feel like I'm being selfish and causing him to be really frustrated. Is this unfair for me to expect him to wait? He doesn't make me feel this way, I just feel I am.
2007-03-12 05:49:08 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's never made me feel bad for not wanting sex and he respects my decision to wait.
I am 20 and he is 25.
2007-03-12 05:49:52 · update #1
You are not being unfair - this is your decision to make. Nobody else matters when it comes to what you are comfortable with. If this guy really respects your decision like you say he does, he'll wait with you.
2007-03-12 09:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by trillian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, first - it is not practically impossible to withhold sex for too long if you've already had it, it may be frustrating because he loves you and finds you incredibly attractive but he can relieve some of his frustration on his own, you don't need to have any part in it.
you've been honest with him and he understands so that's great but he also needs to show you that he understands by not trying to push you into anything, which he seems to be but got a bit carried away then felt bad about how it made you feel - to me this shows that he does really care about you.
it's not unfair of you at all to expect him to wait, if he loves you and respects you (which from what you've said he does) then he won't expect you to have sex with him.
you're doing what's right for you and if you don't then you'll lose respect for yourself and may end up resenting him which will doom your relationship to faliure anyway.
be who you are and make sure he knows how special you think he is and how much you love him in other ways (which i'm sure you do already).
he's very lucky to have someone so open and honest and who wants to make him happy.
best wishes xxx
2007-03-12 16:20:36 · answer #2 · answered by aria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No don't feel bad. That is what you feel is right. He respects that. Yeah, he might get a little frustrated (not in a bad way) cuz he is so attracted to you and loves you. But don't feel bad sweetie, you are doing what your heart says is right, and I can tell he respects you for being so true to yourself, this will make your guys wedding night that much more special ;-)
Good luck
2007-03-12 16:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋