Why do men never say?

Question

i love you, my bf of 8 months said it to me first, the very first time it was ever said between us and used to be very affectionate and say the nicest things, now i feel like its me saying and doing all the nice things and he just doesn't bother so i told him how i feel and i didn't want to see him till saturday to see if it makes us feel any different he said he will try anything if i think it will help but thinks we are ok, im worried i luv him to pieces and when i spoke to him yesterday he said i do make him happy and he loves me and still fancies me so i dont understand whats changed, im scared incase this is all going down the pan but i hope not we were so wrapped up in each other a few months ago, he does do 6 night shifts a week so i only see him on a saturday cos thats his night off and a couple of hours during the week, he says he feels like he doesn't get anytime to himself, but i plan my time to suit him beacause he doesn't have a lot of time, advice please

Answer 1

Relationships change over time. you've been together 8 months and you're bound to have grown more comfortable with each other and you probably both don't do and say things you used to as much. Thats not always a negative though. Look at the positive changes in your relationship, you've grown closer over that time and built up trust between you. His working night shifts is bound to be very difficult on your relationship and finding time to see each other must be hard, he's probably knackered half the time too. However, if you are unhappy, you do need to talk to him about your feelings but I really don't think there is any need to worry, honestly. Your boyfriend clearly loves from what he's said. Its just the fact that realionships change. Me and my boyfriend have been togehter a while. We used to tell each other "I love you" every night and he was always buying me little gifts and taking me out. Even though my little gifts and treats are few and far between and we hardly ever say we love each other anymore, I actually feel closer to him now than ever and I feel his love for me in the little things he does.

Answer 2

Have been with my bf for same length of time and we have never told each other 'I love you', but I had a similar dilema, he stopped sending his cutesy little txts that used to make me smile and I felt like I was doing all the work and he was being distant when we weren't together then last night he asked where I thought relationship was going - panic stations, has he lost interest etc.

I couldn't answer as was too worried about why he'd asked me that, only slept for 3 hours etc, txt him this morning saying had an answer. He txt back just to say morning and I didn't hear from him all day.

He rang me this evening to explain why he'd asked - he wants a proper relationship with a future and was worried I might be happy with things plodding along (difficult situation as have kids from marriage).

I explained that I wanted the same thing, to spend more time together, do more things etc - a future together - I know won't be easy but both willing to try.

My point is I was worried sick that he wanted to end it and was looking for a way out, but in fact all he wanted was to know that we were on the same wavelength - so talk to him and explain how you feel, tell him you miss the affection and all the nice things he used to say - men are notorious for this.

Answer 3

Relationships start out great full of passion etc, but as time moves on you kind of get used to each other and take each other for granted, May be you both need to do something to put the sparkle back? What about say a weekend away. Also guys kind of don't think about the little things and the affection as it isn't as important to them, he clearly loves you given what you say in that he has taken on board your points, may be suggest you have some time away together? Have a bit of fun and break the routine?

Answer 4

For pete sake what more do you want for the guy. He working night shifts he's probably tired.
You have got to realize that men don't constantly express themselves as women do. If he is still with you then be happy. Just tell him you love him and make him feel wanted.

Answer 5

Sounds like my husband you're describing. These things just happen. He may make an effort for a short time but will slip back to his normal ways. I discovered is when I complained to my husband that we don't go out. It lasted for about four months (one weekend a week we'd go for a meal). That was about 5 or 6 years ago. We don't go anywhere now.

Answer 6

After doing 6 night shifts I am surprised that he stays awake long enough to think about it.Dont worry about it, he is probably saving up all that money he must be earning on a big surprise for you!

Answer 7

Hell....i use the "L" word all the time.... the girl i am seeing knows that it is just my way of saying like.....and i love her but am not "in love" with her.... and that when I am she will know because I will tell her that I am "in Love" with her.... I think this is as it should be....

I still use the "L" word far too much....

Love u Xxx hope it all works ok .....

Answer 8

I think he is gets tired with work and u ought understand him. if all is well thenstop worrying urself. thats normal. avoid having doubts. if you still dont feel safe make atry to do something that will make him feel jealousy but becarefull. its not always that it works out but when it does it helps. wish you luck

Answer 9

Men only say I love you for 2 reasons 1, s e x 2, they mean it! You need to ascertain which one he means!!

Answer 10

You could well be coming to the end of whats known as the "honey moon" period....sorry honey. maybe it was just lust after-all. so many people mistake lust for love you know.
KB