Well, I wasn't officially going out with this guy, but we have been going places together and I know he liked me, but I didn't feel the same way about him, so this morning I texted him on my phone and told him that I didn't think this thing between him and I would work out, and that I was sorry and that he deserves someone who wants a relationship with him, because I don't. I also told him that I don't like him as a boyfriend and that I was tired of him asking me for sex and trying to paw all over me all the time, and that I still have feelings for someone else, and I think he's a nice person who doesn't deserve to be lied to by someone that really doesn't have feelings for him. He kept asking me for a reason why I felt this way, and I ALREADY TOLD HIM!!!!!!! Do you think what I did was mean, or acceptable?
2007-03-12 05:27:20 · 15 answers · asked by Yvette S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your reasons are sound, but you should have just told him in person, and probably much sooner.
2007-03-12 05:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by Pretending To Work 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were honest with him, short and to the point.
If he was pawing at you and asking you for sex, and you didn't want it then you did the right thing for you. You should never try force your self to feel some thing that you don't, it's not fair to you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING FOR BOTH OF YOU, some day he will see this.
It sounds like you said every thing that needed to be said, with the bottem line being your not interested/ not in love with him. It's simple as that, all the talking in the world will not make you feel any different than you already do. The only thing that it will serve to do is to make you feel worse than you already do, not to mention that he may feel as though he may still have a chance. A clean break is always best.
You told him the truth what else should he need beside that. I don't see that as being mean, you were after all honest with him. You were kind, as much as any one can be when breaking up with someone, you did tell him that he deserves some on who who wants a relationship with him.
You don't need to keep explaining you self, you told him it's over and that you don't feel the same way about him as he does you. There really isn't any thing else to be done, if he can not understand these words that you said to him "I don't feel the same way that you do!" And all the other word that you stated above then he has a problem, don't let this up set you .
You have done what you feel is right and best for your self. You can not make your self love some one that you do not love. You are human and you feel the way you do, he just needs to except it and except that you are moving on.
What ever you do:
Don't call or feel that you need to give him more details, since you have laid it out pretty clear as it is. Some times with people any/every answer that is given them will never be enough. He isn't hearing what he wants to hear from you, so he will continue to pester you for more. If you don't have any more to say, then what is the point of dragging it out.
Do not except his calls, do not call him. Keep it a clean break and leave it at that. Try not to run into him if you can as it will only just make it worse.
Some people just do not want to get it and that can become a problem. You may have to change you phone number to keep him from bothering you.
2007-03-12 14:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you fit all that in a text message? Lol. Seriously though, if all the things you said about him are through, then he really doesn't deserve the courtesy of a proper break-up. You said you weren't officially going out with him and he was pawing all over you, case closed. Shut him out. Forget about him, he thought you were an easy friends with benefits target and now his pride has been severely wounded. You'll meet better guys, reserve proper breaking up technique for the decent guys.
2007-03-12 12:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by the15don86 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did tell him the wrong way and the mature thing would be to call him. When you start dating men you should tell them from the start that you are not looking for a relationship but for friendship. I have said that to a lot of men but some don't understand and expect so much from us. By doing this, you don't call as often and go to places with them a lot. If you do, take one of your other friends with you so he understands that you really do want to be friends. MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND SAY WHAT YOU MEAN.
2007-03-12 12:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by Real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. Breaking up over text is not the ideal way but you're being honest and not stringing him along. As long as you're honest with someone there's not much that you can do wrong.
2007-03-12 12:30:45 · answer #5 · answered by berniehallcharlie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you did fine. texting is no different than writing him a letter. you were upfront and honest. i think you deserve some props for the mature way in which you handled an awkward situation.
2007-03-12 12:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was good that you were upfront with him, but you should of called him or asked to see him..Its not right when a guy or a girl breaks up with you through email or text...
2007-03-12 12:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by Alejandra2008 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Texting was kind of lame versus calling, but at least you told him. Lots of people just "disappear" if it's not an exclusive relationship...
2007-03-12 12:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by Christopher M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was acceptable. He is just having trouble letting go.
2007-03-12 12:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by Kristin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's mean...i did the same thiing 5 months ago...sometimes you have to do what you have to do. It would have been mean if you had led him on
2007-03-12 12:39:38 · answer #10 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋