would it be wrong to say how i feel?

Question

here's the problem. 4 years ago my mom died. 2 years after that my dad has a girlfriend. and of course i want him to be happy. but thats not the problem. the problem is that since they got together she has been always tryna tell my little brother wat to do. im in a group home now and i aint home to be there for my lil bruh. i hate my stepmom and i always wanted to tell her how i feel. not in a disrespectful way. i just dont look at her side of the family bein being family to me. i dont do the step family thing at all. my dad and my stepmom want us to be a big happy family n im like no cuz this aint the brady brunch. baisclly i don't like that we gotta be around them when they together. cuz when i seethem hugging and kissing it hurts ya know cuz i miss my mom. when i get out of here in two months ima tel her how i feel. but would it be wrong to tell her that i dont care bout her and my dad's relationship. i dont wanna hurt anyone's feelings.

Answer 1

I don't think it would be wrong, but I think it might be unwise. You might start by talking to your little bro and ask him how he feels about being treated the way she treats him. The next step is to talk to your father. You need to tell him how you feel since your mom has passed. You need to tell him how you feel about his new woman ( not like a little kid, but as a "man-to-man" talk - no disrespecting his new woman, as this may cause hard feelings between you and your father ). Just be open and honest.

You might start by REALLY thinking about how you feel and especially WHY. Then you should get things down on paper and walk away for a bit ... come back and re-read what you've written.

Good Luck to you and your bro ...

Answer 2

It's fine that you don't like your stepmom, you don't have to. What the issue is here is why you don't like her. Your dad obviously sees something very special in her. You say you don't like her because she bosses your little bro around. Try to see it from the step mom's point of view. I have been a step mom before and it's not easy to come in and take over raising someone else's children. She is not your brother's mom but that doesn't mean she shouldn't take the role as a parent. She has basically stepped in as mom. Not saying she can replace your mom because nobody can do that, but she has to play the role of a mom, see what I'm saying? She has every right to tell the child what to do, and he should respect her and do what she says. As long as she doesn't mistreat him or anything. As far as seeing your dad and her kissing and hugging, I know that's disgusting for a child to see, no matter how old you are, you never wanna see your parents kissing and stuff in front of you. Yuck! But try to look at it from your dad's point of view. After your mom died it left him without a life partner, and probably very lonely. He mourned your mom for 2 years before marrying someone. I'm sure he will never forget your mom but he is trying to move on with his life. He is happy again, and you ought to be happy for him, no matter how you feel about the new woman. If you must tell her how you feel, I would do it in a respectful sort of way and say look, I know you want us to be a big happy family, but I'm still missing my mom and right now I can't accept you. And leave it at that. Maybe in time these wounds will heal, and you can look forward to getting to know a different family. You have a whole family (her side) waiting to accept you. All you have to do is open your heart and learn to accept them back. Good luck.

Answer 3

Of course you're entitled to your own opinion and it will hurt seeing your dad with someone other than your mom. BUT, what good is this going to come out of by expressing your hatred? I'm sure you don't hate her as an individual; but what she represents. Be happy they want to be a family. You don't have to love or care for her, but be polite and CIVIL. How do you think she feels about you? You're a representative of the man she's dating's past. When you say you don't do step-blah blah blah....I've heard that before. My fiance's baby's mama said the same thing. Open your eyes...no matter how you try to push it off...you're living in it. So are you asking your dad to not be affectionate with the woman he's with in front of you. Of course it's going to take time to heal - but ask yourself...what are you really trying to say.

Answer 4

I don't think it would be wrong. Tell your dad how you feel. He might say you think that way cause you miss your mom, but make sure that he really understands how you feel. Tell her too that you don't like the way she's treating your brother. Ask your brother how he's feeling about the whole thing, and talk to your stepmom, and dad about it.

Answer 5

I think it is always best to talk about things and get things out in the open. If you are respectful in telling her how you feel, she should respect where you are coming from. You don't have to see her as a mom figure. Just give her a chance as a person.

Answer 6

Keep this to yourself or JUST talk to your dad about it. If you have a couselor, speak with him/her about it.