How do you explain death to a 3 year old. Serious answers only please?

Question

We had 3 fish that my 3 year old loves to watch. One died a few weeks ago and he kept asking where the fish went. I avoided his questions.

My husband just told me another one died (we didn't do anything wrong, I just got old fish I think). I don't want to replace them since the tank was almost too small.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Please please don't tell your child that the fish are "sleeping" or have gone away. It will make him afraid to go to sleep and he will get emotional when you are leaving to go someplace without him (like to work for example) because in his little mind you going away to work and his fish going away and never coming back would be the same thing. Just tell him Honey, your fish died. He will probably say Oh, ok, and run off and play. If he says "what's died?" as in he's asking what died means, then you can answer that question with that means he doesn't live anymore. I find it's best to answer young children's questions with only as much information necessary to answer the question. Then if they ask more questions, you give them a little more information. No need to confuse a little 3 year old child with complicated explanations about death. Just matter of factly state, "the fish died." and leave it at that.

Answer 2

Sorry to hear about your dilemma, there is no easy way to explain death to a child, the kindest thing to say is Farther Christmas needed the fish, this is what used to tell my kids and it always worked. children don't remember things to long so in a couple of days the fish will be all forgotten especially if you buy him a toy.
Hope this helps.
Love Pixie.xx

Answer 3

Please be honest with your child because if you make up the old "its sleeping, etc." your child may have trouble understanding death later in life.

Explain that fish don't live a long time and that the heart inside the body stopped working and it needs to rest now. Just like a human would. Plain and simple.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well largely it depends on your beliefs. What do you want your kids to think happens when someone/thing dies. Heaven, a better place, reincarnation, nothing.

Just whatever you do don't compare it to sleep or to going away, or your child may get all the wrong ideas.

Personally, for me and my beliefs I would probably say something like. Inside every living thing is power, power like what turns on the lights, and powers your toys, but once a power leaves a living thing it can not return. They just stop. The power continues on through the world, and the body becomes part of the earth again.

Answer 5

It's basically depended on what you want to instill into your child at such a early age and whether your child is emotionally 'fortified' to bear such explanations.

Firstly, decide whether your child is emotionally fragile. See whether he/she cries a lot and feels sad over small things. If your child is emotionally fragile, then I suggest not to tell him/her.

Secondly, if you insist strong that your child must be taught of the truth then go ahead.

Lastly, what I suggest is that at such a young age, this kind of questions are best to be avoided. Come to think of it, your child will eventually know what's death all about. At that point of time, he/she will be more able to rationally understand the fact death is inevitable than he/she will now (considering your child is only 3 y/o).

Answer 6

This fish are sleeping and he will see them again some day. Wait until he gets a little older to explain death to him. I have a 3.5 year old and she knows the concept of death just from watching mostly Disney movies. Things die and it's a part of life, if he doesn't understand that wait a little while longer to explain it to him.

Answer 7

My son hasn't lost an actual person he was close to, or a pet yet, but he's been to several funerals with me. We attend church and have a strong faith.

We taught our children from an early age that a body is just a vessel. It's our shell. Our spirit only dwells here for a short time. With the last breath you take, your spirit flys to be with Jesus. Our kids have a strong belief in heaven.


Same goes for pets. While taking a stroll on my father-in-laws property we came across two dead turtles. Their heads were missing (maybe birds ate them)...my three year old said ..why did just their heads go to heaven? lol

I wish you the best
God bless

Answer 8

I have a two year old who loves Nemo. So, I'd tell him that the fishies went to live in heaven with nemo's mommy. That way he can kind of relate. And if he askes where heaven is take him outside and show him the sky and the streaks of light in the clouds. my mom always said the streaks where from the windows in heaven..

Answer 9

Explain to him that death is just as natural as life. Explain to him that everything dies when it becomes too old or too sick. (if you don't feel right about telling your son everything dies including him, don't) This is not meant to be funny, but let him watch The Lion King a couple of times.

Answer 10

Well with the fish not diying I cant help u, I go to the store every two weeks to get new ones cuz they die, which is kool cuz I dont wanna get bored with the same ones.

For oyur kid if u avoid his questions he is gonna grow up not in a good way. I have to admit I probably had the bes tpparents in the world and gave me th ebest educaiton and values. He is only 3, i would think he has to at least not know the concept of life and dead, but tell him that there is a time for every living thing where they go somewhere else after their time is up but that it is somewhere where they r happy. it also depends on if u want to give him a religious education.

Otherwise if u avoid his quesiotns hell start going somehwere for answers and wont be able to trus tu or see u as the main figure to find answers and someone will end up teachign your kid the facts of life and we dont want that do we?

Also, dont teach him somehting stupid like fish heaven, jsut tell it plain and simple, life moves on to another place, and thats how things are.He will be more mature and smarter and when the time comes he will be able to say no to drugs and yes to sex!