When thinking of settling down for family, what are those quality(s) that one need to look for in a good wife-to-be lady?
2007-03-12 05:19:37 · 9 answers · asked by Ladson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know about a "good wife-to-be lady" per se, but when I make a choice that is to last a lifetime I want durability and easy live-ability. I chose a man that shared a lot of the same interests, who makes me laugh (a lot, like to tears sometimes) and a beautiful voice (when I realized that I could listen to that voice talk forever, I knew I had the right man).
Having said that, I did write a list a few months before I met him that had 50 qualities on it. Everything I could think of: responsible, openminded, compatible spiritual beliefs, plays board games, parents who like me or are not near me, good provider, age range, height etc. Everything. I'll tell you, I later came across that list and I got all but 3 things on the list in my husband.
Ultimately I guess what I want to say is it's a highly personal thing and only you can know what is important to you. The best thing to do is get out there, meet people, learn what they are capable of and likely to do - and what you can tolerate too. That's the way to make a sound list.
Peace!
2007-03-12 05:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That can be extremely hard because there is so much coming at you that encourages you to consider so much that is not real quality.
I remarried just five years ago after having a having my late husband and father of my son leave the state with a girlfriend. I spent many, many years waiting for my husband.
Some of the things we did were to meet each other's family and friends and spend a lot of time with them.
Since we are both Christians and were/are involved in our churches, we went to each other's church everyother week. This allowed us to see how we interacted with other people. We could see that we were known by other church members.
We did not touch each other in places that we would consider private until we were married. Thus, we were keeping that part of our relationship for when God gave us His blessing to have a sexual relationship.
When a sexual relationship is entered into, it makes the friendship take on a different facet. When things get tough there has to be a strength of character that will pull you through it. If that isn't there, you may not have the stick-to-itiveness that is necessary to get through a severe illness or car accident that may cause disablility.
Questions to ask yourself about the person you have in mind:
Does she have the same belief system as I do? (If you are a Christian and go to church, does she? Would she be willing to go to your church and visa versa?
Do you want children? how many?
Spend some time around children. How does this person treat them?
How do you spend your free time?
If you hate ____ and she loves it, how will you work that out. Can you make adjustments to participate in the activity for her sake? (My husband has learned to load and deliver cakes and I have learned the names of helicopters. Neither of us hated these things, but we didn't know anything about them before, except how to eat a cake and helicopters fly.)
How does she respond to you?
If she wears a too tight shirt and too short skirt that don't meet in the middle and keep her covered and you don't like it, does she respect your wishes and not wear it. (I know that this will get a lot flak from a bunch of people, but it really needs consideration.) My husband likes a certian style of clothing and wears it almost daily. I love to see him dressed like that. Now, if I didn't like it and I was embarassed by it, shouldn't I know that now and decide if I can live with it? He started wearing it all the time when he found out I like him in it. Now if I decided to dye my hair pink, without considering his feelings, I would be headed for trouble.
I've given you some ideas, and I'm sure you will find some of your own. The final thought, how do you know if this is the one? Do you want to grow old with this person?
2007-03-12 05:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by Butterflie927 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rule I always use on how you can tell if a woman is a keeper, is a rule i barrowed from the movie "A Bronx Tale."... Basically, you open the passenger car door for the lady, and you walk around the back of the car to get to the driver's side. Take a look through the back window, and if she leans over to unlock your car door, she's a keeper... If you have automatic car doors, don't use the alarm, unlock the door with the keys... My current wife still does that! And I lover her for it....
2007-03-12 05:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by ragefury 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honest, faithful, someone who can make you laugh AND cry... someone who puts you before herself...the kind of girl who is CLEARLY there for you, no matter what..you want someone who can cook and clean, but has a driven-educational lifestyle and is a hardworking smart woman. Someone independent but considerate at the same time. You need a girl who wants a family, and loves children....that says alot about her heart and her patience as a person.
someone who doesnt give up easily, and tries her best to please you and takes good care of you, to the best of her ability...
likewise, she is going to expect all of these things back from you....that is how you build a healthy, successful relationship... so always give to her, what you would like to recieve.
you will know when she is the one...i wish you the best of luck :) love is hard, but its beautiful...and if it was easy, then everyone would fall in love left and right with the right person....
2007-03-12 05:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by SassyGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not something that men think about very often, but ask yourself if this is someone you'd want to be the mother of your children? Is she the one you want to grow old with? Is she a good person? Does she communicate well? Does she have values? Do you respect her? All of those things are important. Don't just marry a pretty face. Choose wisely, and keep the divorce rate down.
2007-03-12 05:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Bluebellringy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone you love and want to be with -- else your family will be broken
Someone intelligent and kind
Someone who shares your life goals
The rest are just details that can be debated as you go.
2007-03-12 05:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy_lyn_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that is really kinda depends on your heart. when you think of her does your heart do a flip... do you always think about her and want to be with her.. another thing to think about is how does she treat you is she trust worthy, compassionate, and of course would she be someone you could be with all the time.
2007-03-12 05:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by shortdarkandBEAUtiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
none...u'll just know when u meet that special sumone. u'll get apit in ur tummy and a gulp in ur throat + start sweating profusly + of course u'll get a pain in ur chest..which means ur heart is aching for her. good luck.
2007-03-12 05:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by grasshopper9 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u will know when u meet that lady, u can jujst tell
2007-03-12 05:22:46 · answer #9 · answered by tess 21 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋