I have been dating this man for 6 weeks & now he says he wants to slow things down. I have no idea what do to! Everything has been so easy & natural with him, its actually been the easiest relationship I have had. He has initiated EVERYTHING He has called me every night for 2 mnths & we were seeing each other 5 nights a week & he was staying over 2 of them. He offered to help me with some things at my house, I never ever asked, he did that all on his own! I have never put any pressure on him or demands, just let things happen. All of a sudden out of no where he starts acting distant & then he says he wants to slow things down but he was firm he doesn't want to stop seeing me & that its not over at all. Next He Said: "Why do you want to go out with someone like me anyway, with all my money problems, and I have 3 kids & you don't have any" I told him I enjoy being with him & he makes me happy & that I don't know if I want kids(he knew this)& money doesn't matter (i am very successful).
2007-03-12 05:12:18 · 13 answers · asked by Confused Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
**Don't think he's cheating, when would he have time & I really think I would know if he were (we're in our mid-thirties so we've been around the block)
-Where his kids fit in.......
he spends Sat/Sun all day with kids (takes them home around 4pm) & 2 weeknights (the 2 nights we don't see each other)
-I have met ALL his family (except the kids) & he even invited me to spend the weekend with his Dad & Cousin at the Dad's Lake house & we had alot of fun
-Also, He's been divorced 5 yrs & had a 4 yr relationship with someone after his divorce
2007-03-12 05:38:39 · update #1
Maybe he's afraid because the relationship is going well, and his personal problems could mess things up. If he wants to take it slow, you have to grant him that. He probably feels that he's only looking out for you. After all, you have no children and your financially stable. Give him a little time but keep the lines of communication open. If he starts to completely pull away from you then let him go, there maybe something else that's he's not telling you and and if that's the case, he's doing you a favor. Good Luck.
2007-03-12 05:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by krispykreme335 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went thru this same exact thing. We were going out for 2 months. He was all into me, I just tried keeping up. It actually almost got to the point with him that I almost needed to slow down, but he beat me to it lol. When he said that i was soooo confused ! But I finally got him to be honest with me after pulling many eye teeth :). He was running on hormones and yes he liked me and yes we had a great time...but he realized that I wasn't someone he thought of actually settling down with. I slipped into the gr8 girl FRIEND category before I even knew it. Which is ok now because he actually isn't my type for a long term relationship...but we are gr8 friends today! I can hang out with him and he with me, drink a beer laugh and are so comfortable with each other!
2007-03-12 09:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by k1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mabye this is right, if he has kids it could be putting a lot of stress on him, and he could mean that he wants to slow down the relationship a tiny bit, because he has kids and you dont he is a very busy person running around after 3 children and you are not a very busy person
2007-03-12 05:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by Jade L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably looking at things realistically now.....you've been dating for 6 weeks and seeing each other 5 nights a week??? Whoa......don't you think that's a bit much? You mention that he has 3 kids, how are they fitting into this? He needs to devote alot of time to his kids, maybe that's why.
2007-03-12 05:17:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might just have gotten scared. I'd say take it easy, give him some time to get used to the idea. Maybe he thinks he's not good enough for you.
If he's still distant in a while, tell him he needs to step up or step out.
2007-03-12 05:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it's him and not you. He obviously thinks he doesn't deserve you. All you can do is just be encouraging to him...compliment him and help him know that you take the other things when you take him as your boyfriend. He feels like he is burdening you, it sounds like. But you just have to show him that he isn't. Maybe just backing off seeing each other every day is something he needs to do to think about things. I hope it all works out for you! :)
2007-03-12 05:17:22 · answer #6 · answered by Christi D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's just insecure and needs to know that you're not going to ditch him. I'd give him the space that he wants. Go out, have a good time, get a pedicure. He'll be back. They always come back. :)
2007-03-12 05:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by answerguru 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably had a bad relationship before and is insecure that you're going to leave him for some one better
2007-03-12 05:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by Nickymae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is either cheating on you or is cheating on someone else with you... or he is scared and you need a man who is stronger than that . so if he doesn't change soon i would just leave, 2 months isn't really anything
2007-03-12 05:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by live in the magic of life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's scared of his feelings for you.
Just give it time. Be patient with him, and understanding.
Hope it works out!
2007-03-12 05:17:47 · answer #10 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋