how should i deal with irt we are still together
2007-03-12 04:31:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sure you can udnerstand her concerns, but her lack of education regarding all the being HIV posititive is......and isn't....is the real problem here.
For one thing, I would hope that your finance is old enough and mature enough to not be swayed by his mother. Secondly, I think you should both sit down with her and explain everything about HIV. I would even go so far as to explain how you mightv'e contracted it then explain that you and your finance love each other and because of that love and committment, explain the lengths to which you'll go to protect him in the relatinship. Discuss the possibility of kids and how your HIV status would/could effect them.
Approach this realistically and in doing so, also know that she might be very hesitant to accept you. Being HIV positiveis no longer the death sentence it used to be. IN the US alone, thousands are living healthy productive lives with HIV and have been for almost two decades now.
HIV and AIDS carries a stigma and probably always will until there's a cure. The disease has ruined lives, killed relationship and certainly claimed it's of lives share over the years.
Try to be sympathetic to your fiance's mother. She's a victim of the media hype from 20 years ago. She 's probably heard about Liberace and Rock Hudson and probably read "While the Band Played On". Cut her some slack. and understand that she loves her son and is only worried about his health and welfare. That's why you two should approach her as a unified front and explain all the things that will keep you LIVING with HIV andf him HIV free for years to come.
Good luck...I'm sorry being HIV positive is perceived as it is, but it could be up to people like you to change that. Dealing with your future mother-in-law could be the very first step.
2007-03-12 04:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really does not matter what your mother or anyone else thinks/feels about your being HIV or anything else if you are of age!!! All that matters is the fact that if you "TELL" the one you care about and that person being aware of this matter and they still want to be with you!!! Do not let anyone tell you who to love and/or what your life style should be!!! Only you and your mate can decide if you should or will be togetheR!!! aGAIN iT DEPENDS ON IF YOU'RE OF AGE!!! Either way I can only hope that no matter how things turn out you have a long happy life with the one you love!!!
2007-03-12 11:46:08 · answer #2 · answered by xxx69forall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a great social stigma surrounding HIV which is slowly dissipating but in the meantime you must endure the hardships of the ignorance that feeds this stigma.
If your fiancee is a aware of your condition and is fine with his decision to continue the relationship, his mom will just have to get used to it. It is only up to you both to decide what is best. Trying to convince her to accept her son's decision may prove to be frustrating but all the same it is necessary. You have no other way of finding out but to sit down with her and her son to work it out. I wish you the best and certainly hope there is a cure is sight for your malady.
2007-03-12 11:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well did he know?do you love him or do you just love being loved?if he didnt know you dont love him or you would have been thinking for the best thing for him. You would be willing to sacrifice what you want for his happiness..his mother is just concerned for her son, what you have is an illness that could change his future...again you need to think about him and not you.I also know you are suffering and hurt from this news taht you have it but do you want himto go through that too?
2007-03-12 11:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, obviously your fiancee still loves you even though you do have HIV. and that is what really matters... your not marrying his mother
talk to him about it.. good luck and congrats on the fiancee
2007-03-12 11:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is there to handle? Did she want to discuss it with you? Why would your boyfriend share this info with you? Does he want all of you to sit down together and discuss it?
Unless there is something specific that you are expected to do I wouldn't do anything.
2007-03-12 11:38:14 · answer #6 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally do not think it is fair to be with a person who doesn't have it..i would not want the responsibility of doing that to another person, obviously you are young, since you are worrying about his mother, therefore things change, you are willing to give this disease to another who you love now?
this is one reason why diseases spread, people are not responsible
2007-03-12 11:37:50 · answer #7 · answered by sevenout7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does it matter what his mother thinks; isnt it what HE thinks that matters?
if he is truly having doubts at this stage because of what mommy had to say, then maybe you should reconsider his committment to you. but if he stays loyal and committed, then HE should tell his mother to BACK OFF.
2007-03-12 11:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by okiedokey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he knows you have HIV and you guys are being careful...and he's ok with his risks, then who cares what his mom thinks?
2007-03-12 11:36:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to here that this is what u deal with. i think u have more to think about.u have no time to play games i think if he's going to be there it is not in your control, so think about things u control, and learn to forgive, life is so hard.and stay positive
2007-03-12 11:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋