wedding day looming...but i feel like crap?

Question

i need advice. im gonna marry my lovely fiancee in July, and we still have loads to do, but im too depressed to get off my backside to do stuff. my mates are asking about the stag do but i would like to have the stag and wedding when im not depressed. Ive told my wife to be and she suggests we wait till easter and if im still really down we could postpone it, but how could i explain this to my mates.. none of them no i get depressed, the depression often lasts several months when i do very little, then passes and i can do / enjoy things again like normal.
tricky. but i dont want to be depressed on my wedding day, i have too much responsibility to be anxious, down. i feel i cannot function when im like this.

any views on this? anyone been in this situation? when i proposed in August i wasnt depressed and told everyone about it and everything was fine..since xmas ive been a mental wreck

Answer 1

Slow down a bit and take a deep breath....You have almost answered your own question....You have no reason as you say to be depressed...you sound overwhelmed....but very intelligent about what is happening to your body. Make an appt. with your Dr and tell him exactly what you wrote here...It may be a chemical thing which you have no control over, so make that appt and enjoy planning for the most important day of your life....My best wishes to you

Answer 2

Your fiance does truly sound like a lovely lady!

Since the depression is dragging you down so badly, you may want to get professional help.

From where I'm sitting, you have two choices: You can go ahead with the parties and more or less act happy, and hope that it really does turn that way. Or you can tell your mates what's going on. It could be that they've noticed something but aren't sure how to talk to you about it.

Good luck! And the best in life, Friend.

Answer 3

I suggest seeking treatment for depression. I've known people who have a cycle like that - fine for small periods, then down and listless for weeks. It could be SAD - seasonal affective disorder, which affects people where there's less light in winter. You could try a light box for that - they really work. It could also be much deeper depression. To be sure you're ok on your wedding day, see your doctor. You could do counseling, medication, or both. Some combination of the two should get you through the wedding. Good luck!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like you might have what I call Winter blues. I get them every year. Last year was the worst for me. I didn't want to move at all and I cried almost daily. My suggestion is try doing things like getting out of the house and looking at stuff for the wedding. Keeping busy and being active whether it's that or something simple like bowling I found helped me. Don't think too much about getting up and going, that holds you back, just get up and go. The more you plan and stick to the faster the lousy winter passes and it will be beautiful out and you'll be back to normal. I am not a doctor, but it worked for me. If that doesn't work check with your doctor and see what he says.

Answer 5

You may want to see a doctor about your depression...from what I understand there are some great anti-depressants on the market for this. Sounds like your depression is not going to go away on its own especially not coupled with the stress of your upcoming wedding.

Answer 6

Depression, is something you and only you, can let go of, it is a self- destruction, it will cause you to lose out own life, and it is something that we have all" control of...Go back in your mind and find the place and time when you were not depressed and stay their..And learn the difference of what you should be depressed about and the things you should not be depressed about, Stress and depression are two different things and you have to learn what is stress, and what is depressing...Things that make you happy, should bring joy, and joy brings, peace, and peace brings, contemptment, My way of finding what I have told you here is through praying, and asking Jesus to bless me with all i have talked about, and he has given me a peace that is so devine, it allows me to define the difference of a peace or a depressed life, One has a choice, if you choose to be depressed you are going to live in hell where Satan whats you to stay, or if you choose a divine peace you pray and talk to the lord and read his words, of wisdom, for your guidance, to surcome this self inflicting choice, Sweetie you are talking about a time, that is the happiest times of your Life, it is called making memories, some you will always reminisce. So make them some of the best memories, of your life, Because this is the first chapter of your life, so start it of right, with Jesus as your personal Leader, And you will have a divine, life, a stag will bring happiness, stop trying to stay away from what bring good times, stay away from what brings, bad times, learn to define, what is happy and what not, you have some things backwards, I am not trying to be mean i am trying to unconfuse you, If you learn this you want have to explain nothing to your mates, So if know one knows you get depressed, that their should tell you that you are pretending, Face what you need to face dont run from the best times in ones life, Being anxious, to me is being happy but not knowing how to deal with happiness, Except the things that brings happiness, and when you fill anxious, express it, find away to express it cry, laugh, or find some other positive way of expressing it, That is how you over come it, Hold your wife and say the things that you fill, express your self, show your feelings and pray and talk to the lord just like you would, asking your questions, He will guide you if you ask him to. And you and only you knows what makes you happy, go their and dont allow your self to leave that place, This is your wife's very special time in her life, Let Her have a blast, make it a point to smile, the things you need help with ask for help from someone, And trust me these are precious memories you both are going through make them precious, and not something you are dreading, Have fun and smile because Jesus loves you, A positive attitude is a magnet for positive results, stay positive and pray for a divine peace ...May the Lord bless you both and keep His light own both your Lifes as you go through your Life's journeys,It is called making memories...And learning wisdom...

Answer 7

Consult your doctor, often times if you experience depression for long periods of time it is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain. There are various medicines that can help level you out, and make you feel normal. My wife and one brother are on meds for depression, and it makes a huge difference in their outlook, attitude, and general disposition.
Go talk to a doctor.

Answer 8

have you looked into medication or counseling?
definitely postpone if you are still down. you want your wedding to be a happy day. it wouldn't be fair for your wife either.
if you don't want your friends to know about your problems with depression maybe you and your fiancee could come up with another excuse for postponing the wedding.

Answer 9

From the way you describe how you feel, You have the classic signs of Bipolar Disorder, Go see your Doctor and be checked out. There are medications for this disorder and you will need to get on them and stay on them for the rest of your life. If not Bipolar-then you just have pre-wedding blues that will go away...Good Luck

Answer 10

find out if you really want to get married that might be your deppresion. Second you might want to take some time away from the planning of the wedding and take your fiance and go off together on a trip just to relax.