Ok so my ex who broke up with me a couple of months ago is away at college in her freshman year. Our breakup was very unexpected we were engaged and I was under the impression we would be together forever. I hoped so atleast. She is 18 years old. I am 22. I work full time for the govt and I am in school partime. She is away it is her freshman year. We have managed to stay into contact with one another since the breakup. I talk to her atleast 3 times a week. I don't call as much because she has expressed to me that she doesnt want to be with me but I am sure that she is dealing with other people. I dont mind helping her but I feel as though if she is dealing with other shouldnt they be helping her. I told her I would be there for her if she needed and she does. I love this girl to death an nothing will ever come inbetween that.
2007-03-12 03:45:37 · 12 answers · asked by ImOuThEreUdigg!! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its not a lend I was going to give her money and buy her clothes
2007-03-12 03:51:08 · update #1
Keep your money in your pocket. If you give her money because of the feelings you still have for her she'd view you as a sucker and won't stop taking advantage of you. You're a young man and when you're over the pain of losing her you'll find someone else who I'm sure would be annoyed at you giving financial aid to an ex girlfriend. Let her go, don't let money be the painful reminder to your heart (and pocket). Good luck.
2007-03-12 03:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by darkness_returns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you help a friend out if they asked because that is what you ex is now to you. Also do you think she is trying to con you into getting some money from you. As for the relationship give it some time she is still young and needs to live a little before she settles down ....by the way you should do the same.
2007-03-12 03:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by not2smarttoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lend her money you should definitely get a repayment plan in writing. It is never a good idea to help a friend/lover/ex-lover with money. I think you need to wean yourself from her, as she obviously has moved on. Try to get involved with activities at your college or church, join a book club (local library has them or a local book store) or join an athletic group (volleyball can be co-ed and a lot of fun). When you get out among people it will take your mind off of your ex and you will make new friends (and possibly find a new girlfriend). Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-12 03:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are able to help your ex out and not have expectations from it then go ahead. However, if you would become resentful if things didn't change between you as a result of being there for her and helping her, then, no, do not help her out financially.
The answer lies within you - be honest and make sure your motives are pure - it's okay to say no, it doesn't make you a bad person nor would you have broken your word. She is stepping a bit over boundaries with her request as it stands.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 03:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you should not. From experience I know that not being in touch (let alone financial dependency) with you ex is eventually easier for both partners. There will always be (at least) one who will get hurt. I know the feeling of wanting to look after somebody after a break-up, but it is simply not fair on anybody. You might (unconsciously) "expect" something in return and she will not be able to move on. Be wise, and try to minimise the contact, however tough that might be.
Good luck!
CK
2007-03-12 03:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by CK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look my ex and I were in the same position when I was in College and so was he. He was just like you and we were engaged and I broke it off....so I can do my own thing while I was there...Look take it from me looking at it now I was young and stupid and I shouldn't have did but I did....I played him out I had him bailing me out of every financially problem that I had and he did. Till he noticed that I wasn't coming back after 3 years of him doing this he finally just walked away from me and did his own thing.....I wouldn't do it if I were you. I lost my best friend over it, and you will too trust me.
2007-03-12 03:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but this girl needs to learn you can't have your cake and eat it too...If she doesn't want to be with you, and is seeing other people you have no responsibility to her. I would tell her you are sorry she is having so much trouble and you are there if she needs to vent, but leave that as the only support you offer....she will only come to you time and time again when she is in trouble. Save your assets for a relationship that is mutual in love, respect, and support. Best of luck.
2007-03-12 03:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being the only one in love sucks, and that is quite obvious what is going on here. I would not call this girl. You need to move on and find someone else to spend your time and money on. I would not spend a dime on her. She made her decision and she has to live by it; why can't you see this? You are being used. Don't let this girl do this to you!
2007-03-12 03:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lost in Maryland 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she broke up with you to go to college its because she wants all those single party boys.... WHY do you still even care. i hate NTOHING more than patheitc people who stick with a loser.. she obviously is an idiot you two were engaged, and she just said bleh its over and boom went to party central, she wants to play around, at least she had the desency to leave you before she screwed around on you. DO NOT help he financially, she is USING you , why would you help anyone who broke up with you so they could party with other guys.. really..... i guess, if you do love her ohhh sooo much. then wait, till she is out of college, and maybe grown up, and if she is still available, there ya go.
2007-03-12 03:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure that she's not using you. It's totally up to you whether or not you want to help her financially, but I don't think I could do that if I were you. Be careful not to let love over-rule common sense. Good luck!
2007-03-12 03:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋