For starters I am using my friends profile as a means to ask this question in secrecy. I am 25 years old; I have been with my husband for 7 years, been married for 6 and have a 5 year old son. He was my first EVRYTHING, first date, first kiss…etc. I have been at my current job for 6 years. I have always been very reserved, quiet and always had low self esteem. My marriage isn’t as good as I wish it was but you can’t talk to my husband. We have problems, he has anger problems and he does not communicate and I am too scared to push any issues, I am the type that does not like confrontation, I would just as soon forget it than to argue about it. So anyways, I work in a trucking industry and 2 years ago this man got hired as an over the road driver. He would always come to me with questions about work, calling me at twice a month to see how he was doing. I thought he was crazy but then he began to call me for no reason to just see what was up.
2007-03-12 03:26:00 · 13 answers · asked by A. T. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We talked about once a week and he would always come in to see me when he was in town. It got to where he would call me about 3 times a week just to chit chat; we began to talk about everything. A lot about my husband, my son, etc. most things I can’t tell my husband. He decided he was going to quit the company, which made me sad, thinking I wouldn’t get to talk to him again. His last day he and I went out for lunch with a few other friends, nothing happened of course as nothing still hasn’t happened. Again, I thought when he left he would not call anymore but he did, his first day on his new job he called. We sometimes talk now 3 to 4 times a day. He drove 100 miles from his current residence and employment to take me out to lunch one day and another time to go to the movies. Both instances it was never just me and him, their were mutual friends that tagged along.
2007-03-12 03:26:16 · update #1
My best friend keeps telling me I am having an emotional affair and I should stop talking to this guy. She says because I talk to him about things I would not talk to my husband about and because I actually miss this guy when I don’t talk to him and I worry about him, which is all true. I often think about if I were single would we develop a romantic relationship. He and I don’t talk about “that” issue exactly but he is always telling me I should leave my husband because he doesn’t treat me like I should be treated and he really doesn’t. He says he will change and for about a week he does then he goes back to treating me like crap again. What should I do? Do you think this other guy wants a relationship with me or is he just being a friend? If I should stay with my husband, tell me how I can talk to him? Any advice or opinions please??? Thanks
2007-03-12 03:26:30 · update #2
*****After reading several answers, I think I am going to work on my relationship with my husband but PLEASE tell me how to stop thinking about "my friend" He is always on my mind. Thanks!!!!!
2007-03-12 10:24:33 · update #3
counseling, lawyer, divorce proceedings.
things will most undoubtedly never change with a guy like this..even if they do for a while, you will always be on guard and doubtful, + unsure.....
it seems you have a good man friend there...if things go to divorce...
get to know this guy for another year or more around his friends and family first...actions speak louder than words...time and experience is on your side now also...go slow with the hubby , walk softly, speak softly and tell him exactly how you feel when the mood is good...maybe start small.."I'm not happy" "I dont want to be married anymore" "I can't do this anymore, be married" see what happens but do not give in to his temporary "repentence" it might just be that as before..temporary...and do not talk so much with the other so much rt now...
go back to first line and proceed ...
my opinion.
good luck..
2007-03-12 03:38:44 · answer #1 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand been there done that. If you really feel down about being with your husband I would suggest a seperation period see if that will help if not maybe a divorce. Remain friends with the other guy he seems like a good guy very concerned about you and your feelings.If for some reason you get a divorce you and your friend would make a good couple. But try and fix your marriage first. Remember you have to be happy! Do what makes you feel good! Let us know what happen Good luck!
2007-03-12 10:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what u r going thtough becauz u want to be faithful to ur husband but let me tell u that I have been with my man for 10 years and I have tried to do right by him but in the end I always get hurt. So my advice to u is to do what makes u happy and if it ain't ur husband then let that go and find the happiness u deserve. Just because he was ur everything at one point and time doesn't mean it will always be that way. People change and not always for the best so go find ur happiness but do it in a descent and orderly way. Remember God honors doing things the right way and in the end you need him to guide you. I hope u find ur happiness and when u do hold own to it a good man is had to find these days believe me I am still looking girl.(smile)
2007-03-20 09:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by lady of the morning 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you really need to talk to your husband. You've got to be honest with him and be honest with yourself--he's not t he only person that needs to change. You have to start treating your husband as your best friend. Be honest, let him know your fears (especially if one of your fears is him). When your relationship improves with your husband, when you see the person you have married and why you love him so much, you will automatically stop missing the trucker that you talk to 4 times a day. Work on your self esteem. If your husband has more than anger issues (ie: beats you up) LEAVE HIM.
Don't wait for someone to rescue you, rescue yourself.
But it doesn't seem that that is your issue.
2007-03-20 09:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by trudi25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Listen to your Best Friend break all contact with this guy you are having an emotional affair with him.
Second of all, If you love your husband like you say you do then you need to try to talk to him or get him into some marriage couseling. But as long as this other guy is in the pic then there is noway you will be able to work on your marriage.
2007-03-12 10:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by butterflybaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not happy and do not think you can get what you need from your husband ever then i would leave. It sounds to me that you are just enjoying the attention from this guy that you should be getting from your hubby. It's a horrible thing to be in a relationship where fear is involved. But just remember you need to get happy with yourself before even thinking of going with another man. If he really likes you he will wait. Have a good think before making any rash decisions. Good luck i wish you all the best
2007-03-12 10:39:08 · answer #6 · answered by bobbi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW what a dilema, in the fist instance i personally think that you should try talking to your husband (AGAIN) , I KNOW YOU mentioned he does not communicate and does not listen , but just try, you need to know where you stand and you need to know whether your relationship is going to progress for the better and not for the worst, i mean do you really want to live your live being treated like "crap" I dont think you do, you need to realise that marriage is a commitment, you need to talk to your husband if you really love him you will try talking to him, if you feel as though things are not going to work out and you want to try and new avenue, then this matter also needs to be discussed, because the more you keep on saying to yourself , oh theres not point talking to my husband he doesnt know how to communicate, the more your going to drive yourself away from him and look for different things. for the sake of your marriage just try talking to him , even if u explode out screaming telling him ur emotions and how you feel, its worth it in the end, with regards to the other guy i think you should put him on hold for the moment, JUST until you know whats happening with your marriage, if ur marriage does not work out, then you should consider someone else hope this helps you out !!
2007-03-12 10:36:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are making excuses to be with this guy. Remember work place romances usually fail for some reason or another. Maybe you should get out of your current relationship before diving into another. Not to mention that matrimony is a sacred bond and how would it look to others if you are not honoring marriage by stepping out.
2007-03-12 10:31:14 · answer #8 · answered by chad_zortman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with your friend, you're cheating on your husband. If you want the marriage to work, try counseling. I think you've reached a point where you want to leave, but also want someone waiting for you. Don't leave your husband for another man! If you leave, do it because you no longer want to be in the marriage. As for your male friend, it sounds like he's interested, but waiting to see what you decide to do. Good luck!
2007-03-12 10:34:04 · answer #9 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass always looks greener on the otherside..Remember weeds are green too. While you can't seem to change your husband you did say for better or worse. You need to make your decision in the best interest of your son. What does he want?
2007-03-12 10:37:00 · answer #10 · answered by Chris F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋