I am dating someone who is for the most part really supportive. However, lately they have begun to criticise me and make snide remarks and have insinuated that I should realise how lucky I am to be going out with them!! My partner does not work and seems really bitter about this and will not tell me the real reason why they are unemployed. I feel really angry and think that I have made a big mistake. We have already broken up once and I foolishly went back, but the same problems that were there in the beginning are still here now. When I try to discuss the issues with them, they make me feel guilty....I know I deserve better.
2007-03-12 03:25:27 · 7 answers · asked by XL 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When someone tries to make you feel guilty for discussing issues with them, they are refusing to admit to their active role in a dysfunctional relationship. Since this isn't your first time dealing with this individual, you have got to know what's in store for you if you continue on.
It sounds like this individual is "taking a break" at your expense. If your partner isn't working or helping with life, I would agree that you are in a bad relationship and that you need to ask him or her to leave. You certainly don't need to spend your time listening to someone put you down and damage your self esteem. This person has been lucky to have you in his or her life, but obviously suffers from an incredibly low sense of self-worth.
You do deserve better! We all want happiness and contentment in life. Move on and give this person the space he or she needs to get his or her life back in order. If you won't, then sadly, your unhappiness will be your own making. Good luck to you. Annie
2007-03-12 03:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to realize is that nothing other's say or do is because of you. It sounds like your partner has some issues that only they can resolve for themselves. Relationships, however, are not about criticism and snide remarks, they are about support and growth. Both parties have to be secure enough with themselves to stand on their own two feet, with the ability to support one another when obstacles come along. My saying is 'If one of the two isn't happy on their own, they sure as heck can't be happy paired with someone else'.
To sum it up, the last thing that you should be feeling in a healthy relationship is guilt or insulted. And as far as your partner telling you how lucky you are ... well... I think if your partner was a real 'prize', then the last thing they'd have to do is reassure you of that fact.
2007-03-12 03:39:25 · answer #2 · answered by brigidscircle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello i know you may not care but go there is always someone better i was in a somewhat of the same problem and i tried hard to make it work no matter what she was never pleased always angry and ungrateful she was also jealous of anything positive for me so I know go and try and be happier in life while you still can staying will only hurt you more mentally
2007-03-12 03:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by Steve O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this guy you need to make sure you get away and not go back. It is a fatal decision listening to his guilt trips. His aim is to make you feel like you dont deserve better but anyone and everyone deserves better than him.
2007-03-12 03:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by Juhboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of that relationship, sounds like you arent happy. Honesty is very important and is this how you want your life to be?
2007-03-12 03:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by mikentammy76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out you deserve Better!
2007-03-12 03:41:13 · answer #6 · answered by Jason S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you can not change people. If you are not happy now you will never be....get out now!
2007-03-12 03:29:16 · answer #7 · answered by louise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋