Being Rude.?

Question

I've tried to teach my son the value of manners, but what I find is how many adults don't have any. We were at the mall the other day and my son seen an older lady with a walker trying to get though the door so he ran over and opened it for her. She never said thank you. (and this has happened alot) so of coarse him being 10 yelled YOUR WELCOME. But now my son says he don't believe in manners and is refuses to use them. How do I keep reinforcing them when he is right. Old people keep complaining about kids when there no bettter

Answer 1

I would simply explain that he's not opening the door for the old lady - he's really opening it for himself. He's opening it so that HE can feel good that he did the right thing, so that HE knows that he's a nice guy, that he's polite, etc. So, it doesn't matter how people react, because he's doing it for himself (and maybe for you, so that you can be proud of him). Sure, it's nice when people acknowledge what we've done, but we don't always get rewarded for good behavior - that doesn't mean that good behavior isn't worth doing.

Answer 2

I am 30, and when someone does that to me I do the same thing as your son. If we are polite enough to go out of our way to do something nice for someone else, a little respect is nice a proper thank you is deserved. I am a stickler about this, and some people realize they were rude and say, oh I'm sorry thank you. I am a mom pushing a baby stroller all the time and you would be amazed as to how few people hold the door for anyone. People are rude. I have even noticed when I say thank you to someone at a drive through or at a restaurant (I waitress) a lot of people say "yep" It takes 10 seconds to say your welcome, but yep is the answer they give. Its just rude. Tell your son manners are something he should have and just because other people are ignorant doesn't mean your going to let him be raised to be the same way. And let him keep up with his "YOUR WELCOME" it isn't rude, it is a reply he would have said had they thanked him, it is just pointing out someone else's ignorance.

Answer 3

I think you are right when thinking that a lot of the people out there have no manners. I work in the customer service field and it is hard to imagine, but I would say you encounter many people out there that are rude. I don't know whether or not people were just raised differently than you and I or if they just don't know the difference between being nice and genuinely rude. I think if you just keep on telling your son about the value of manners eventually he may see the difference between the people who are pleasant with one another and those who just don't know how to communicate. I mean lets face it, this world is all about communication and I think you are doing a very good job of teaching him what is wrong and what is right when it comes to manners. It is just too bad that those who are so rude may cause him to justify his actions. I hope that he understands that not all people are like that and that being nice to people may have its advantages too.

Answer 4

As parents, its hard when we seemed to be overthrown by society. We try to teach our children good behavior manners and the whole 9 yards, yet other people do not seem to care whether they are young or old.

I run into the same issues with my girls. I encourge them by saying well, if everyone acted like you the world would be a better place...lets try to change the world. They are little manner hero's walking around saving people from the evil world of Rude one person at a time.

It works for now and hopefully it will continue.

Answer 5

This happens to my kids too! And I tell them, "Too bad that lady didn't have a mom who taught manners!" And if I can, I say it loud enough for the manner-less adult to hear. You'd be amazed at the shocked looks that come from the intended recipient...and sometimes even a grumble of agreement from others. Peer pressure CAN be a good thing.

Most importantly, it makes my kids see how crummy it is not to have manners.

Answer 6

Let him learn by example. Just make him see that being mannerly is just the thing to do, no matter what the public response is. If you are polite in spite of it all he will see. I know the feeling, I'm 25 and still do what your son does sometimes. It's difficult to stay polite and "nice" in such a harsh world, but that one time you make someone's day nicer will make it worth it. Good luck with your little guy

Answer 7

Just keep on doing what your doing. Not enough parents make the effort and that's why we have all these rude adults and kids running around.

Praise him and give him an occasional reward for his diligence in being a polite young man.

Answer 8

Old people are just so obnoxious and you have to let your son know that those people can be a handful sometimes!! I am sure he will understand and once he gets used to practicing his manners he will know where to expect critical responses or none at all!!

Answer 9

When faced with a situation like this, remind your son that he is doing the right thing, and people are noticing - you! Explain to him that adults sometimes forget their manners, and it is important to have kind and respectful kids like him around to remind us about the things that are important, like saying please and thank you, and helping one another. Tell him it is the good feeling he gets from being polite and helpful that is important, not whether or not it is acknowledged properly. And please tell him not everyone is like that - I would have thanked him :)

Answer 10

you know the right thing to do, continue enforcing good manners. It leads to good social behavior as they get older.
There will be some who are rude (as your one situation) and others that will praise your son for his politeness (and you for his good upbringing)
Unfortunately this incident has taught him a lesson of life, not always will their be gratitude for good deeds, but he should be praise at least by you when he does something good or remembers his manners this will help raise his self esteem.