Is it wrong to flirt, when your taken???

Question

well, my boyfriend of a year and a hafe joined the Marines a few months ago. since he's been gone it seems like every guy i meet is flirting with me and since i'm lonely i flirt back.... And after i feel really bad for doing it because i love my boyfriend very much! And i know I wouldnt do this if he were here.....But it just feels so good...you know?

Answer 1

Mild flirting is harmless. Just because we are in a committed relationship does not mean that we do not want to attract attention from the opposite sex, far from it. Even though, I do not want to lose my girlfriend, I enjoy when someone of the opposite sex shows interest or flirts with me. It is very reassuring to the self esteem to realize that someone that is not already in love with you finds you attractive. My girlfriend and I both flirt with members of the opposite sex. We never let it get to the point where harm can from it but it is indeed fun. You should continue to flirt when boyfriend returns (hopefully you have enough trust in your relationship). When I see a man flirting with my girlfriend, it makes me appreciate her all over again and see through the same eyes I did when we met and frankly it makes me very proud to be with someone that other people desire.

Answer 2

You already answered this for yourself when you said you feel guilty.

What makes it right or wrong is whether or not everyone has a choice in the matter and it is all above board.

Your BF doesn't know about it and so he has no choice. That is unfair.

The people flirting with you will often see it as a come on and invitation for more, and responding is a form of encouragement and if you are not really interested that isn't really fair to them either.

It is also not fair to yourself underneath it all. Flirting is a form of temptation and it is very easy for a flirtation to get way out of hand and turn into something far more than you ever expected it to until it gets hot and heavy and then you will have a real problem on your hands.

So, it can be okay, but it takes a lot of open communication with everyone involved and that doesn't sound like what is going on in this case.

Flirting behind the BF's back is basicly shopping around for your own gratification without respect for how he might feel about it. It can also be an insecure way to shop around for a replacement, even if you are not admitting it to yourself, and that too is extremely self centered and unfair.

Answer 3

personally, i think it's wrong to flirt with another guy when you're taken. it shows that you do not respect your bf. just because your bf is away doesn't give you the right to flirt with anyone you like. you might feel lonely, but that shouldn't make it okay for you to flirt with other guys. if you truly love your bf, you will be able to wait for him without doing this. you should be able to have fun even without him. just imagine, what would your bf say if he found out that you've been flirting with other guys while he was gone? and try thinking it this way: how would you feel if your bf did this to you? always remember: treat others the way you would like to be treated. hope i helped.

Answer 4

If you feel like you want to flirt, you should flirt. Just don't get angry when you get hit on.

You also need to ask yourself, "If I really love my boyfriend, would I be flirting like this?" The thing is, don't feel guilty because you're flirting...if you're wanting to flirt, it may be that you're more in love with the security of having a boyfriend than you are with the boyfriend per se.

Don't stay in a relationship unless you really WANT to stay in the relationship. Staying for ANY other reason is cheating yourself, and will only lead to disappointment.

I suggest to you that your wanting to flirt is something in your psyche that says your boyfriend is NOT the right one.

Answer 5

Flirting is ok. As long as you don't doing. Everybody flirt some react on it and some don't. But if you real love your boyfriend then watch who you flirt with. You can't flirt with everyone because they will think that you are trying to get with them.

Answer 6

You should break up with your boyfriend. You dont REALLY love him! If you did you would be loyal and faithful in everything you do! Would you like it if he did what youre doing? You knew what it meant when he joined the marines and if you cannot stand by him and control yourself then spare him the heartache and embarassment of thinking youre faithful when youre not.

Answer 7

I don't think its wrong if you know for sure you would NEVER act on it.

It's always nice to feel appreciated, but its better to be loved wholeheartedly by someone, even if they're so far away.

So just know your boundaries and what it is you really want...

:) hope all works out well for you and your boyfriend, long distance is a challenge worth overcoming.

Answer 8

As long as you make sure it DOES NOT get past flirting, I think you are fine. You're going to have people say "No! You can't flirt! You have a boyfriend!" but with him not even there, you KNOW he expects you to wait. It's something you're not used to--- him being away. When he comes back, if you still feel strongly, keep him. but beware! you might just find someone else... o0o0o

Answer 9

I think it doesnt really show your significant other much respect. Clearly we are not "dead" when we are taken but it shows a weakness in the relationship if you flirt with others.

Answer 10

If its only flirting and you trust it won't lead to anything else, id say its a good way to feel good about yourself and to keep it up. Unless it gets to dangerous territory i.e. you want to do more than flirt with a guy and are leading him on, i don't see a problem with it.