what are the pitfalls between vast age gaps in romantic/ intimate relationships?

Question

in your experience:
what is the downside for a man and a very younger woman?
or what is the downside for a woman and a very younger man?

Answer 1

Woman and younger man: The power struggle. Men tend to be more insecure about this kind of thing. For women, it comes naturally.

Man and younger woman: He knows more about the past than she does, and no matter how brilliant she is, he gets annoyed with her whenever she doesn't identify with his conversation — say, about film?

Answer 2

The biggest difference is not the age gap, per se, as it is the relative maturity of two people involved. For example, a four year age gap does not seem like a big deal, but it would be if the guy is 18 and the girl is 14, but not between a 40 yr old man and a 36 year old woman.

There is no way for a 14 year old to be as emotionally mature as an 18 year old, no matter how much "love" is involved. It takes time for people to develop mentally and emotionally, and to gain sufficient experience in relationships to know what it is they want and don't want. Also, the kinds of love experienced in teens and pre-teens typically fall into the crush category.

Now, take myself as an example. I was married for over twenty years and have had two other long-term relationships. I am in in a new relationship (been in it for four years) which is the best I have ever had. There is a 30 year age difference between myself (59) and my significant other (29), but we are so very much alike because she is so much more mature for her age, and, well, I'm still a kid at heart.

By any other standards, a gap this big would be an obstacle, but if two people really do have the nonnegotiable qualities of a long-lasting relationship, such as compatibility, common life goals, cooperation, communication, trust, openness, concern for others, similar likes and dislikes, recognizing the limitations in each other and being accepting of what they are, and common spiritual beliefs, then there is no reason why two people with disparate chronological ages cannot make for a successful couple and long-lasting relationships.

Age does matter and make a difference, but not everyone is equipped to deal with the differences and not everyone knows how to bridge the gaps that exist.

The biggest mistake that most youg people make, young people who date partners much older than they are, is thinking LOVE is all that is needed to make a relationship work. In reality, Love is way down on the list of essential priorities required for a long-term relationship. You can grow to love someone even if that love was not there to begin with. I know it is a fact because I had it happen three times. I also know that great relationships take a lot of work to make them that way -- they just do not drop out of the sky.

Answer 3

2 years is probably an perfect age hollow. My brother and that i are 4 years aside (it become purely meant to be 2, yet my mothers and dads had to purpose for a 300 and sixty 5 days in the past ultimately getting pregnant with him). i think of it become difficult on the two one persons using fact he hated having to attend 4 years to do the failings I have been given to do first. And whilst i become youthful i could no longer go some places without bringing him alongside. We did play at the same time, yet when I reached 10 or 11 the age distinction became extra of a difficulty from then on. we are close now, yet did no longer have an amazing courting till i become out of high school. Our age hollow probably could have been much less complicated if we've been the two a similar intercourse. although that's a great adventure having a brother using fact all my acquaintances have been ladies.

Answer 4

Inability to communicate within the same common usage linguistic parameters. That is to say, if you're 26 and your BF is 46, you may find each other sexually and physically attractive; but your life experience and common terms of speech may vary greatly, depending on how involved you have been with people of the same age bracket as your mate. The other thing is energy level and interest in the same activities and sports/hobbies. Men and women are usually quite different in their choices of 'fun', even when of the same demographic. Imagine what happens when the guy or girl is 20 years older and watches the news or National Geographic instead of Star Search at 8pm every night...

Answer 5

There is no real downside until, like someone before me said, either party feels that there is a pitfall.

In my experience, the pitfall is when, at a certain age, life goals may change and differ drastically.

Answer 6

In either case, experience, or the lack of, can be a pitfall. It just depends on both people involved. Also, their interests can vary a lot, like going out/socializing, having kids, even just their conversational topics may create an issue between them, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. I used to date a guy who was a lot older than myself (almost 20 years), and we got along fine. It ended because I moved, it was a mutual decision.

Answer 7

I think it depends on how much of an age gap? 10 to 12 not so bad. 20 or more is asking for a lot of trust because when the older one get older the younger one may want to trade you in for a newer model.

Answer 8

depends on the gap in age, life experiences, common interests. u two have to be in the same page with your desires and goals in life.

Answer 9

Downside is most likely they are just using you if it really is that vast.