My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and he is becoming less interested sexually. We use to always do stuff everytime we saw one another, but in the last two weeks he just isnt interested. He told me he just doesnt care anymore and it isnt that big of deal if he gets any. Last night he hardly touched me or kissed me, but cuddled while we were watching a movie. I tried to initate something but he kept blowing me off. Told me not to get mad at him for not wanting to get it on. I told him it was disheartening and that I just want him to want me...he said he does. I feel like an ugly, fat piece of crap and my boyfriend isnt interested. What do I do? Just ignore him and stop trying to start something? I tried to talk to him last night, but he told me babe, I am just tired, dont over analyze it. I just want to feel wanted....any advice?
2007-03-12 02:34:26 · 12 answers · asked by Belize 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have not slept together..but both been with other people
2007-03-12 02:42:22 · update #1
sucks for you, just give it time i guess
2007-03-12 02:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by pancho 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's tired and doesn't want to put the effort in for the sex. Or else you've gotten past the honeymoon stage and now your relationship is settling into it's normal routine. How long has this been going on?
I'd say give him some time. If he is tired from stress at work or whatever, then you can't really push him to put out. That will just push him away emotionally too, and right now, it still sounds as though he cares (he tells you you're still attractive, and he cuddles you - that's worth a lot).
I think this is something that you also have to figure out in your own mind. Just because he's not in the mood, doesn't mean that you're suddenly fat and unattractive. It means that you're THINKING you are. Which means that if you keep thinking this, eventually it will be true. Relax. All couples go through periods of drought in the sex department, just don't let it become a drought in the love department, too.
2007-03-12 09:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the beginning of all relationships the intense sexual energy is at a high. As the relationship evolves through time this energy slowly decreases. It is not that your boyfriend is not interested in you, it is that your relationship with him has entered a different phase. There is nothing so beautiful as the first stage of the relationship where it seems the two people involved can't get enough of each other. When we become too familiar with one another we begin to feel comfortable, more relaxed. Best thing to do is to concentrate on other things. Enjoy and do other things together. Refrain from any sexual activity. In time you both will begin to miss and need each other intimately again.
2007-03-12 09:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must agree with him.
Men are simple, they are tired, hungry or horny.
None of them at the same time!
The fact he spends "downtime" with you speaks volumes.
The lack of self esteem is an issue you need to "deal with" on your own outside of "what he does" for you. He is ONLY your boyfriend and you sound young, this will evolve in to a serious problem if you base your happiness on ANYones validation of you as your self worth.
2007-03-12 09:44:30 · answer #4 · answered by Denise W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sex does tend to dwindle off the longer your together. You'll find you go through times when your at it like rabbits, then you get a dry spell. as long as he is still affectionate towards to you he probably is tired. so just be patient and give him lots of kisses and cuddles.
2007-03-12 09:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sex is not the answer to all relationship problems but if he is cooling it and knows this upsets you then obviously something is amiss. is he possibly getting it somewhere else? is his mind on someone else and he hasn't acted on it? If i were you....and i'm not....i would just leave him be then. but thats me...i'm way too independent to let some guy make decisions for me. i would not call....would not seek him out in any way. and until he rectifies this i wouldn't care to see someone who rebuffs me like that. the world is full of people and men are like busses...one every ten minutes. so...keep your eyes open.
2007-03-12 09:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a while in a relationship sex cools down, it is normal when he is ready for some give it to him. Remember Sex is like air its only a big deal when your not getting any!
2007-03-12 09:40:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jason S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably tired. Give him space and dont come on to him for a while wait until he initiates it!
2007-03-12 09:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not love. Honey, he cuddled with you. That is far more valuable than sex. Stop thinking so much and just love each other.
2007-03-12 09:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by mikey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't worry too much...
he might be going thru some things or might have some things on his mind.
ignore him...for some reason that works on people. act like you could care less.
good luck to ya....
it'll be fine...
2007-03-12 09:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by Marsha Mellow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋