what do you do when your forced to do something like a Botmitzva and you don't believe in the religion?

Question

I really don't want to do my Bot mitzvah because I don't believe in religion and I cant get out of it

Answer 1

Well, if you truly cannot get out of it, the best thing to do is to participate with some graciousness.

We all do things to please others that we wouldn't do otherwise. That's part of being more than an infant.

Are you being required to read parts of the Torah, or otherwise leading part of the service? Or is this a family celebration - more or less just a party?

As I understand it, a Bat Mitzvah is a recognition that you are a responsible adult, in the eyes of your religious community.
It is a "coming of age". You're what? 12 or 13? That's an astonishing thing in our culture, to be considered an adult at that age.

This is a milestone in anyone's life, to be considered responsible for one's own actions. This is something that has been celebrated throughout time, in cultures all over the world. Be happy you didn't have to go through some sort of testing trial that imperiled your life in order to be considered an adult.

And if nothing else, you will be the center of attention and well-wishes.

See what kind of graciousness you can summon up, rather than be grudging about it. I'm certain that when others do things for you that they wouldn't do otherwise, you resent it if they make it seem like it's a burden.

Answer 2

I really do hate to correct people especially when I do not know much about a subject. But I looked it up on the web and for girls it is a "bat mitzvah." Course you spelled it two different ways in your question, too. But I don't know the answer for you but, surely, your only hope is to talk to your parents although I don't think it will do much good. Still your bat mitzvah is not, like, the end of the world.

So, according to my information you must be 11 years old about to turn 12, as that is the age that a bat mitzvah is held.
I think you would do well to appease your parents as to this, you have plenty of time to make up your own mind soon.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Being "forced " to do something against your will for religious purposes is wrong. However, that ceremony is a very important one to your family. You also are at an age where rebellion is natural. Talk to your Rabbi and be very honest with your feelings about religion and why you do not want to participate. Then measure your feelings against your knowledge of how your actions will affect the people around you. Religion is not only about faith, it is about family too. If you really want to and are willing to accept the consequences, you can get out of it. Learn what those are before you make a decision.
Other people you might want to talk to about this are your parents, and it might be one of the best, loving conversations you will ever have. Ask your mother and father to tell you if they had reservations about their Barmitzva and Batmitza. Better yet, sit down and ask your Grandmother or Aunts.

Answer 4

Have you tried speaking to your parents/rabbi about it? If you have, and they still unwilling to listen, the only thing that you can do, is go through with it. Many children are "forced" into the religion or faith of their parents. When we get older, we have more freedom to decide what is right for us on our own. Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Bye the way, it is spelled Bat Mitzvah, I don't know if you are serious or just playing games.

Answer 5

Do it anyway. I don't know much about the Jewish religion, but if I'm correct, you are still living in your parent's home if you are having a bat mitzvah. It would mean a lot to them for you to go through with this, and I don't see how someday in the future you would look back on this moment with regret. You may very well regret NOT doing it, especially if to avoid it would hurt your parents. Do it for them.

Answer 6

Tell your parents you don't want a Bat Mitzvah. That should be enough! If you are not truly a "daughter of the Law," then why participate?

Answer 7

You need to tell your parents. They may understand. If they do not, then just go through the motions of the ceremony and enjoy the gifts from family and friends.

Answer 8

I thought Bar Mitzvah was a ceremony for males... Katie indicates a female. right?
You also spelled it wrong - are you posing?

Answer 9

I don't think God holds children accountable for what thier parents, or other of age persons make them do. I think Red Queens advice is best, humor your parents, you can decide what you want to do when you are an adult.

Answer 10

Just have fun and ignore the religious parts.

And someone needs to explain to rkirby that he knows absolutely nothing about this tradition, and should not post about it.