Why is It so Hard to date a single father who has a 3yr?

Question

Been dating him not long and our relationship between the 2 of us is fine we only have a conflict of intrest when it comes to his 3yr, no i am not trying to be her mother but i want to establish some type of relationship with her, but the more i try the more he push me away. I am almost at the end of my rope and i don't know how i should feel when it comes to talking about her in our conversations i am really hurt

Answer 1

**************BEST ANSWER HERE**************
My answer may not be the most popular, but it is the best.
I KNOW EXACTLY what you are talking about.
I was in the SAME situation before - with a 3 yr old daughter - and the woman I was dating kept pushing the issue that she wanted to get close to my daughter.
It was an issue because the 3 yr old TALKED about who she was and the relationship we had, etc..all to her mother.
This created conflict because the MOTHER began to insinuate how she would stop letting her come with me, etc... if I was around my love interest.
She felt that my daughter SHOULD be with just me.
This is her effort to create conflict in my new relationship, which it did.
I tried to explain this to my love interest, but she felt that I was choosing - which I wasn't. I just wanted to have peace and enjoy our relationship, as well as my daughter. In the end - we broke up.

What I suggest, is giving him his space when it comes to the daughter.
I know you may want to establish that relationship to bond further with him - but remember, the mother will do everything in her power to INFLUENCE this NOT to happen. So, if he's already with you - appreciate that. Don't take that for granted. He'll try to expose the child to you in different ways - you just have to be accepting of the slow process - if you really want to be with him.
Remember, he's in a difficult situation, too - he needs support not criticism and ultimatums.

Good luck, babygirl!

Answer 2

Don't try so hard to have a relationship with his daughter, just be kind and friendly to her when she is in your company, remember she is a child who may get too attached to people she likes. I'm sure your boyfriend is protecting his little girl from getting hurt mentally and emotionally if she does become attached to you and things between you and he don't work out and you split up. She being a child won't understand any of that, just that you hurt her because you left her.
I am dating a man now after becoming a widow last year and I keep my kids and him separate. They talk and respect each other and that is all I want them to share with each other. There is no "blended family" time and never will be.
My kids are also in their 20's and they don't need a replacement father in their life.

Answer 3

He may be afraid of getting into another relationship at this time. He may want to take things a bit slower and is afraid you are pushing for something here that he isn't ready for. Just take it slow and easy. Be friends, enjoy your time together, no need to rush into anything more at this time. Do you really want a connection with his child, or do you feel that you need a connection to win him over? If it is the needing the connection to win him over, he may see through that and it could be a turn off to him. Remember, if he is a loving Father, his child is first priority to him . Just take it slow and be real. Be honest . Don't try so hard with the child, let the child ease into this relationship, let the child come to you.

Answer 4

I don't know the full details about how you are trying to establish a relationship with the child....I'm sure its in good intention...regardless...I would ask him why he is pushing you away...since he is the cause of distress in the relationship..Tell him as you have told us that you are not trying to take over. I do agree to certain extent that if you are going to be in his life for a short term or long term you wilhave some sort of an impact in the childs life. I would a tell him that you like his child...you are not in anyway tryin to make him feel uncomfortable that you would like to get to know"his" child BUT...do let him that "he" makes you feel badly when he does what he does. Express your intentions, don't make excuses for his bad behavior and tell him what how this makes you feel.

Answer 5

the finished issue you describe is disgusting. human beings ask your self why young ones strengthen up with any such vast volume of complications---it is a attractive get at the same time of why. in the starting up to position on accurate of someone, french kiss and sleep with someone with a baby interior a similar room is terrible and disgusting. those are grownup, sexual issues that could nicely be finished in inner most. it might want to be gross and entirely innappropriate if it replaced into the youngster's father and that's that a lot worse that it is not. Secondly---little ones can develop into very emotionally connected to those "boyfriends" particularly if their father isn't round a lot or in any respect. at the same time as the boyfriend leaves (that's the case maximum of the time) that child is broken. Then a clean boyfriend will come into their existence and this progression is repeated. that's gravely unfavourable to the youngster and teaches them many awful training. I pity that child and the ignorant adults.

Answer 6

You have no business spending time with the three year old child of a man you are obviously not very serious with. The child should be kept completely out of it right now. Secondly, his first and only real obligation and priority in his life is his daughter-not you. Are you ready to deal with that? You sound terribly young and a bit immature and my guess is you are probably unable to handle that type of situation. Since the relationship is relatively new you need to break ties with this man, let him focus on his daughter and find a man who has no ties to another woman via such a young child and now commitments to a young child.

Answer 7

You need to sit him down and talk this through. First of all I am a single mom of two girls and I certainly believe if you are in a relationship with someone who has kids it is a package deal. Why wouldn't he alowe you to have a relationship with her ask him that. It could be that he is afraid she will get attached to you and you two might brake up and he will be left trying to pick up the peaces with his little girl. Or he may be questioning the relationship and is not sure if he wants you to get to know her. Either way you need to talk to him. Because communication is important and if you do not it may destroy the two of you.

Answer 8

Expalin to him that you are finding it difficult to relate to his daughter and that you would like to be included in time that you's have with her, that you don't want to take over the mother role but you would like it to be comfortable when she comes over and be comfortable in getting to know her. You must realise though that this probably isn't easy for him either he's learning as are you on how to cope with a child. You just need to explain how you feel to him and see if there are any ways that you's can all be included in the days events and that you's all need to consider the other people in this equation. Good luck and i hope that it gets easier for you.

Answer 9

If its becoming a problem why are you pushing it? If you havent been dating for very long and your trying to push a relationship between all three of you then your asking for disaster.

Wait a while, your being way to pushy.

Answer 10

Sounds as though he isn't going to mix his sex life and his home life. Sorry if that sounds harsh. Talk with him, tell him what you told us ... then you will know whether to look for a relationship with him, or whether you will be happier if you move on. Good luck.