How to Impress a Woman
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
2007-03-12 01:14:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
How to Impress a Man
Show up n*ked.
Bring beer
2007-03-12 01:15:15 · update #1
Sad but true...
2007-03-12 01:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Doodie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Cluess:
You should need to do one of the following:
1. Go gay immediately.
2. Buy yourself a copy of Cosmopolitan Magazine.
Since I'm a nice guy I'm going to save you the either the cost of a magazine or maybe even a lifetime supply of Astroglide. Here's all you need to do to impress 90% of the female poplulation:
1. Make her laugh. This is mandatory. Use this opportunity to find out whether she has more teeth than you. If she does, save yourself the trouble and just walk away. She's out of you're league.
2. Be prepared to have a conversation about something that interests her. (Hint: Avoid any topics that use the term "V8 engine" or "zone defense").
3. Bathe and brush your teeth at regularly.
4. Have a regular job that hasn't been recently featured on "Dirty Work".
5. Own a decent and reasonably clean car (Tip: be sober enough to drive it most of the time).
6. Have more money on your bank statement than you do on your credit card statement.
That's all you need to do to impress them. It's as simple as that.
Keeping them impressed, however, is a losing battle. It's not your fault. Sooner or later, Estrogen rots every woman's mind. It is the silent killer that steals their ability not notice anything but the negative. It robs them of their ability think logically or react rationally.
The first sign of "Estrogen Dementia" is an inabilitity to recognize and appreciate any gesture of love or kindness. This is replaced by an over-emphasis on the trivial.
The last man to go 17-17 on your list got divorced because he didn't open her car door one day.
2007-03-19 18:38:55 · answer #2 · answered by sjuredman86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a tv remote, hand him a beer and a chili, and you wont be able to make communication with him the rest of the day. (unless he needs another beer).
2007-03-12 08:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by Joe S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No beer needed
2007-03-19 10:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i love your jokes and riddles and this one is spot on if i wasnt married id run away with lol you bring the sunshine into my day
ps very bored house wife lol
2007-03-12 09:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by rob 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Naked? Nah! Bl00dy heels and suspenders and stockings! And what's beer without pizza? ;)
2007-03-12 08:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely Witch 25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im`e with you on all points, don`t you just love em, just getting another cold one out of fridge, and then who knows?????
2007-03-19 12:33:49 · answer #7 · answered by newciderman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! He won't care if you forget the beer, just show up naked and he'll be happy.
2007-03-12 09:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how many more times are am i gonna c dis same question asked in diferent ways on yahoo
2007-03-15 10:30:32 · answer #9 · answered by Cleopatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeh that is very true but it should be beer in one hand and the t.v. remote in the other!!!!
2007-03-19 18:25:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if only!!
i dont know any men that romantic/considerate.
its a shame really cos i do the latter!!!!!
xxx
2007-03-19 12:10:40 · answer #11 · answered by Honeybee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋