Also, what's the nicest way to explain this to her?
2007-03-12 01:14:44 · 19 answers · asked by rickpetralia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, it's not wrong at all. It's a lot to take on, and not everyone is ready for that.....totally understandable. Just be honest.
It's not selfish....I don't understand why some people are saying that...it's quite the opposite really. Selfish would be getting into a relationship because you want to be with the mother alone - not the whole package. You're stepping up before you get in too deep and realizing it would not be the best situation for all those involved. Again, be honest with her.
2007-03-12 01:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by freyas_kin28 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no it isn't wrong. you should like a person for them and nothing though but if you feel that was then she has a right to know. and the nicest way to explain it is to be honest about it. Say something like i think your a great girl and your really pretty but i just don't want to get involved with someone with kids i am just not emotionally ready for something like that. ok try saying something along those likes and then it shouldn't heart her feelings. good luck:)
2007-03-12 08:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by gibson8026 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest. my second wife had four children by four different men...two boys and two girls.
over all i got along with everyone but the oldest boy and he was about 19 but the youngest girl was only 11
you see, i too was 32 and immature thinker and the lady was forty and she had a drinking problem and she had a lot of sexual partners but she was a good mom and a great lover when she was not high
so in the long run we broke up over a lot of reason. the main reason is that this full time mom, full time worker (she worked at Ford as i did), and full time alcoholic did not have time for me and as the time went on i seen less and less of her and we broke up...we still would see each other..but that would be weekends and we would go to a motel and have freaky sex but in the end we broke up for good..its hard to keep a relationship up when you are not the main purpose of your lovers life...
2007-03-12 08:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no right or wrong. It has to do with chemistry. Just let her know that there isn't any chemistry among the two of you therefore its not possible to be together. Don't even mentioned about kids. The kids are innocent. You don't want her to blame the kids for the split.
2007-03-12 08:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personal choice I guess. You might find that the kids are a major part of her life, so if you wish to end the relationship then by all means tell her that you don't like the kids.
Uh...there is no "nice" way.
2007-03-12 08:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dan821 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being honest and that is good. It takes alot of responsibility and commitment to go into a relationship that has an automatic family attached. Just tell her that you aren't ready to be a "dad" yet. Leave things platonic and don't use her as a booty call.
2007-03-12 08:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by rhonda y 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only being fair to yourself - being a step parent is not for everyone. You don't have to explain to her, unless you're already seeing her, which would be surprising since you would have known she was a mother. If you're not yet seeing her, just say you're not ready or you are already seeing someone else, she has to respect that and will eventually move on.
2007-03-12 08:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by Sofia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, its not wrong and the best way to say it is that I'm not ready for that responsibility and its better to get that out in the open now instead of later, I thought I would be fine with it, but I'm just not ready. (wait for tears)
2007-03-12 09:05:15 · answer #8 · answered by shocker83_fear_me23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wrong? No! Disrepectful? Certainly. What if she told you that she didn't want you? Cause you didn't "Measure up" to what she wanted? I'm just statin' facts, here. If you ain't gonna give her some respect. She shouldn't wanna be with you. Guidelines would violate me. If I said anything else. Just do the right thing.
2007-03-12 08:49:44 · answer #9 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just think it is a little selfish on your part, if you really like this girl then give it a try, if you don't care for her much just tell her it isn't working out, and don't tell her it is because it is because she has children. I have to tell you that I know many people who married someone who already had children and they have very successful marriages. Children are wonderful.
2007-03-12 08:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋