Need someones opinion....?

Question

I'm having a problem with my son's recent interest in girls. He now has his first girl friend, and im having problems with it. I'm just wondering if im being unreasonable. Seems like he is almost obsessed. He has to go over every morning at 6:00am, pick her up and drag her over to the house, where they hang around till 7:50 and then head off to school. I really don't like having her here every morning when im trying to get my other three kids ready. He spends every day off from work with her. Comes straight home from work every night , jumps on the computer to chat on myspace with her till late at night. Only sleeps maybe four hours a night now. Never has interest in anything to do with the family. I'm just wondering has anyone else put up with this? Is this normal behavior? And if i say anything about it, we end up in a fight. Any imput or advice would be helpful. Thanks in advance.

My son is 18, i forgot to mention that.

I should also have mentioned that since he turned 18 in Dec. , he acts like he doe'nt have to go by the rules. But i feel like since he is still at home, he should still have rules. How do i handle this with him being 18. He feels all grown up.

Answer 1

Yikes !!! Geez, my three children are only 9, 7 and 5, appears that's wot I've to look forward to !!! NOT !!! Apparently you haven't made the rules of YOUR house perfectly clear to your son ??? Regardless of how old he is, fact remains that it is your home, you pay the bills, provide the food and also have 3 other kids to organise in the mornings !! Sounds totally selfish the way he's behaving to me. Just lay out some ground rules for him. Start with nobody other than family being in the family cave first up in the morning !! God, I can't imagine anything more stressfull !! You must be wonderwoman to be putting up with that shite !! Jus tell him he'll have to make do with seeing her after work/school. Secondly, there most definitely should be a time limit on how much time is spent on the computer "chatting". Heavens sakes, do you recall being allowed to spend all night chatting on the phone when you were a kid ??? Same thing babes, still a phone line !!! I'd say it is most definitely normal boy behaviour. My husband has 15 and 13 year old from a previous marriage and all they appear to do is watch Cartoon Connection or play their x-boxes !! Can't wait till they discover girls .................. Jus refuse to fight bout it. Say your piece and that's it, like tell him you're simply not interested in his argumentative ways, you're the mummy and he's not. Basically, that's it in a nutshell. Tough lurv it's called. Otherwise it'll do your head in. Sure, he'll be really peed off, he'll live though. I'm actually totally sure, once the wild lashing hurricane settles down that he'll get over it. Kids are very inventive, I'm sure he'll manage. And don't come at me with, "Oh but I'd rather have him where I can supervise him !!" You've already done your best raising him, you have to have faith in your offspring at some stage. Start now.


PEACE


.............. :0)

Answer 2

Well this is sort of confusing. How old is your son? And he may be acting like this because it's his first girlfriend and he feels lucky to have her and he wants to stay loyal to her. If he keeps bringing her to your house and your not really okay with it, tell you son that maybe he should just have an hour with the family and not see so much of her. Not that you want them to break up or anything, (unless you do!!) but you just think he is seeing too much of her. Maybe you shouldn't let him have a myspace either...well that really has nothing to do with this, I just REALLY hate myspace. Anyway, hope this helps!!

Answer 3

Apparently your son is deeply in loved with this girl. Leave them alone and you go about getting the others ready. Pretend that they are not at home. Sooner or later they'll get tired. Imagine having to wake up at 6am? Come on, even a normal person would get tired especially with only 4 hours of sleep. Learn to relax and be patient. Trust me, this is only shortlived.

Answer 4

first question is how old is your son? put limitations on him.
I had to do this with my 16 yr old. She wanted to spend every waking moment when not at school or work with her bf...on the phone, pc or with him.
you are the parent, you set the rules...regardless of how much he wants to argue...if he wants to argue, ground him for a day.
I allow 3 days a week visitation, off phone by 9 pm and off pc by 9:45....she is almost 17
If any of these rules are broken, she loses all communication for 1 day. If she argues, she loses all communication for 1 day.
It seems to be working and her attitude is much better. Hard I know.

be cool...

Answer 5

oh to be 16 and in love again ! at 16 my first girlfriend and i lasted till a week before our sr prom. i doubt this will be so for u but try getting to know her and save some of that relationship with your son. thats what my mom did , and i know she didnt allways approve of our say "decisions " . so now i guess it is time for another "responsibility" talks as well good luck

Answer 6

Well its perfectly normal...I'm 22, my elder bro chats with his girl friend for hours together, dont pick a fight or argue, make him understand what he's doing is just fine, but he has to do it in limits. Thats all u can do, rest lies wid him.

Answer 7

Remember in the eyes of a young man the first p u s s y is the best p u s s y so at his age his thinking with his c o c k right now. When the p u s s y starts getting old he'll be better.

Answer 8

It would help knowing his age - I assume that since he works, he is old enough to have a girlfriend. If you have experienced that kind of love/infatuation stage, you'll understand that there's nothing wrong with him wanting to be with her all the time.

Answer 9

It's normal for him to want to consume himself with her. She is his first girlfriend.
Set some ground rules, tell him her being there is distracting his siblings morning routine.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

welll Mama, the guys is in love, it actually happens