Was i wicked with my darling pet. The guilt is killing. will someone help.?

Question

I had bought my honey when she was 2 months from a pet shop.All the 18 years she was with us, we kept her as our daughter, her own toys, her own bed linnen, etc.she slept bet me and my hubby. all her life we never ever had to raise our hands on her. Last year she had an attack and she lost the use of all her four legs. The whole year she was at our mercy for all her needs. We did our best to do everything possible to keep her happy, dry, and clean. Since last 2 months she developed a habbit of whining. she wld stop the moment we used to pick her up and cuddle her. the moment we left her she wld again start, first we thought she must be in pain, but on observing alone and in the presence of the vet we found she wantd our atten thats it. so at times just to quiet her we had to hit her not harsh, just a rap with a newspaper or a rap on her rump, but now that she is not around i feel so bad that i had to do this towds the end of our bond. will my baby forgive us. my heart bleeds for her.

She used to whin such a lot that our neighbors thought we were being wicked with the animal hence we had to raise our hands to quiet her down. all the hours she used to be awake it was not possible to carry her around hence... but now i m regretting so much i dont know how to say sorry to her.

Answer 1

So sorry to hear that, it is so sad that you lost your baby. You should not feel guilty and anyone who tells you that you should have carried her around 24 hours a day is an idiot. It is absolutely not possible. She was crying because she was bored and wanted your attention constantly. It is just not possible for you to do that. Therefore she needed to stop whining. I do not think it is unreasonable to tap her on the mouth to make her stop. Most people have to scold their dog at one time or another. It is not like you could reason with her and say, ok I will cuddle you as soon as I finish the dishes. You did the best you could, most people would have put her down when she lost use of her legs, not fought for her for months. Instead of focusing on the guilt of the last 3 months, cherish the 18 years of happiness that you had with her.

Answer 2

Hi..sorry about your dog.
However, you are the one that spoiled her and made her the way she was. She didn't ask to be spoiled like that, you did that to her. Then when she depended on you for everything you hit her? Even a tap is still hitting, there are many other ways to stop a dog from whining.Many. I hate seeing dogs duck or cower when people raise a hand to them, shows how they have been treated. My pup wags and tries to play when my hand is raised above her, never have I hit her in any way nor will I ever lay a hand on her, she is my best friend and I love her dearly. You can't change the past, and how is the guilt helping you now that she is gone? You can't obsess over that forever, whats done is done and if you say you just tapped her then why are you so worried about her forgiving you. I am sure she has forgiven you what you need to do now is forgive yourself. We all make mistakes after all we are human. I am sure your baby loved you right till the end.

Answer 3

Please stop feeling guilty. At some stage in a pets life, no matter how well cared for they were, they had to be disciplined. I am sure if you compare the 99.5% of happy, loving times you had with her to the .5% of time she may have gotten a little hit, you and she would be more than happy that she had a wonderful, happy and loving life. I felt the same way about my dog. One day he would not move away from the door when I had to go out and after many orders to do so, he kept ignoring me and I gave him a smack on the butt (nothing abusive) to make him move. I did not realise at the time he was dying and he was gone a few days later and I felt sooo guilty. Then I looked at his life and saw it was full of fun, love, warm beds, good food, walks, beaches etc and realised what a wonderful life he had and a few times disciplining him did not matter. Your baby would not need to forgive you as she would have known how much she was loved.

Answer 4

I know you must be feeling pretty awful about what you did. I can relate. Everyone does things that they regret. But dwelling on them won't do you any good. Obviously your dog was a cherished pet, and it sounds like you did what you did out of desperation. Instead of dwelling on that perhaps you should try to just remember the happiness she brought you, and you her. I am sure that she understood in her own doggy way.

Answer 5

some people on here take this to extreams they think if you have a dog then you should devote every single min and every single dollor on it. you cant leave them outside you cant yell at them you cant tap them on the nose or butt . you should give your dog away the min you lose your job and cant pay for a vet bill and now your suppose to quit your job stay home and hold your dog all day long just because she is spoiled? please .... you did nothing wrong but love your dog thats why she cried because she was spoiled and you cant just let her do that just like a baby sometimes you have to let them cry it out you cant just hold them non stop... you didnt beat your dog or ignore her you got a vet to look to make sure shewasnt in pain so let it go you did all you could for her she was loved and she knew it. stop thinking about all the times you had to tell her to be quiet and remember all the great times you shared together. (she still loved you even after you corrected her or else she would have stopped crying and wanting to be held by you) your a great mom and any dog would be happy and lucky to have you..... and btw i am not into abusing my animals either my dogs are inside and sleep with me and wear clothes ect. but things do happen where people get into situations and some people on here just take it to far out of hand. any dog who is lucky to have a home inside food and love and not being beat. is a happy dog.

Answer 6

she already has because she knew that you loved her very much and only wanted the best for her or else you wouldn't have taken such wonderful care of her like you did, most would have just had her put down to end what suffering that they would be sure that she was enduring. Don't feel bad about what you did, I'm sure that she knew that you did what you felt was best.

Answer 7

You may want to go back and reread the answers you got to your question two weeks ago. Make peace with yourself. Rueing about what cannot be changed will only hurt more. Good luck.

Answer 8

I am sorry about your dog, but hitting her I can't agree with. I am trying to understand why after all you all been through why would pick a time like that to punish her. She was old, she was scared and maybe a little confused on why after all she had been through she was being punish. I think I would have carried her around in my arms until the day she died. I am so sorry for being harsh with you.. the guilt must be killing you..but since you brought this up I just thought i would give my 2 cents worth. let me add this too. Maybe she was crying because she was in pain also.. It might have been better if you would have put her to sleep.

Answer 9

I agree with china, but i understand you also.
I'm sorry about your dog but hitting her is way out of order and you should feel guilty you probably made her last days,months,years since you started hitting her unloved.
If you had never hit her until she had the accident she probably felt when you first hit her that she had done something wrong or you didn't love her as much as you did. i don't know but that is my opinion.