My husbands mother has her other grandchild's picture up all over the house it is disgusting. My child is two years old and nothing is up to show he exists. I have given her pictures, frames, ect. They are just not up. She says she does not have enough time (she does not work). But in the past two years she has put up her other grandchild's picture. When I asked her she said she does not want to upset her daughter by putting up my child's picture bc she can't have anymore kids. I am so furious over this I can not go over there often anymore. She is always calling for money and what now. Also she is always buying the other grandchild all kinds of things even gives the child a monthly allowance while my child has not received one gift. I am tired of pretending that the division is not there. I also hate to make a big deal bc who wants the pictures up after I have to make a big deal about it?
2007-03-12 00:02:02 · 15 answers · asked by Family matters 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your child is two years old, so your child presumably doesn't care about this. This is your angst right now.
Resign yourself to the fact that she evidently prefers the other child more. Your job as a mother is to make sure that YOUR son knows he is loved by the people who matter.
As far as the monthly allowance to the other child, I can certainly see why you wouldn't want to subsidize that by giving your mother-in-law any money. Fair enough.
2007-03-12 00:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would have husband talk to "his" mother about this situation, and how much it hurts the "both" of you. If you continue to go over there, you are just going to have to deal with the fact that she doesnt want your childs pictures up....her loss ultimately not yours. I definitely would not give her ANY money when she calls to ask...I mean wtf...she gets money for you so that she can pay another childs allowance or buy them gifts??? NOT out of my budget she wouldn't! Right now your son is too young to notice the differences with his grandma, and maybe by the time he is old enough, she will have changed. If she doesnt, than surround him with people that trully love him, appreciate him, and want to put his adorable little pics up! Her loss not yours, and if that is the way she wants to treat her grandchild, than you need to limit her visits. Just because her daughter cannot have any more children, does not mean she cant handle the fact that other people can. At least she was able to have the one's that she's got. How is the sister-in-laws attitude towards your son?
2007-03-12 00:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
U'r a hundred per cent right. In this situation I would demand that my husband, her son, have it out with her. He should be just as hurt and want to know why his mother doesn't love ***his*** child. (Or is the other grandchild his aswell - not that that matters anyway)
I would be pissed off at my husband for not being angry. It's his child too.
My mother-in-law has two grandchildren (none of them are mine or my fiances) and there are more pictures of one than the other but then that child father still lives with his mom - but not with the childs mother and the child doesn't live there either. In fact, he lives there with his pregnant girlfriend. My mother-in-law has a picture of the ex (and herself) on the fridge which must piss the current (pregnant) girlfriend off a bit.
Whoa, some people are so complicated!
2007-03-12 00:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Mia 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The picture thing would bother me too, so you are not alone on that. I think your husband should have a talk with his mother on this one, doesn't she think that your child is as important as the others? She is just giving excuses! Don't give her any more photos of your child and if she asks why she never gets pictures anymore tell her that she has made it obvious that she doesn't want them because your childs photos are not displayed like the others so you sent one to someone else. Believe me, I understand your situation.
2007-03-12 01:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by Urchin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have nearly answered your own question... why would you want the picture up if you have to make a big deal about it?
I understand your frustration, hurt and anger but it seems you cannot change the way she is, or the way she favours other grandchildren over yours.
Just tell yourself that your child is too special to hang on the wall of someone who does not realise how precious your child is. It is her loss.
I wouldn't bother saying anything because who wants gifts if they are given out of force rather than love.
Perhaps she feels that the other grandchild is not as well cared for as yours and is doing it a little out of pity?
Don't let it bother you (easier said than done I know)
Peta
2007-03-12 00:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by Peta G 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to talk to your husband about this first, If you two have discussed this and nothing has changed, then you need to step in.
If your husband hasnt talked to his mother about it, then Let him do it first . Its His mother and He might have a better pull on her than you.
I think that is a dumb excuse about not putting your childs picture up just because your sister in law cant have any more. She needs to grow up! Do you have conflicts with your sister in law?
If your husband doesnt speak up, then maybe you should have a talk with her. And explain to her how much you are bothered and hurt by it, and that you dont think she deserves to see your child because she is not treating your child just as well as the others. Tell her you wont be sending her any more pictures or come over if she cant change.
2007-03-12 00:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mother in law does the exact same thing but with her great grandchildren. She has one of her ggchilds photo plastered all over the fridge. She has so many toys all over her house which is supposed to be for all her ggchildren but gets mysteriously hidden when there any ggchildren around except for this child. My mother in law goes one step further, when my husband has bragged about his grandchild to her, she talks over him and the other child always does something faster better etc. We have talked to her and nothing changes..soooo...I visit when I absolutely have to, and my daughter who is the mother of the ggchild rarely as well. My husband has tried to express his hurt and nothing changes..so you cannot change her mind. Its sad but true. Tell your husband either she puts up your childs photo or you will never bring your child there to visit to be emotionally hurt.
2007-03-12 00:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
very sad, grandma should never show any favortism over her grandchildren this is sooo sad and hurtful for the children. They need to feel like they belong and are wanted. I would ask her could she put the picts up when you and your child are coming to visit then she can hide them when the daugher is coming if she is afraid of offending her (which seems like a poor excuse) but it could be a compromise which would spare the child's and your feelings
2007-03-12 07:58:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave your mother in law alone. Convince your husband that you should leave separately from his parents (mother) and only visit her during special occasions & don't stay long. Always assure your child how much you love her so she will not feel insecure in case she noticed the favoritism that her grandmother is showing towards her cousins.
avoid any contact with your mother in law as much as possible.
2007-03-12 00:08:08 · answer #9 · answered by Leonie A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would sit down with her and your husband and tell her how you feel and why her actions is causing a problem in the family. If my child's picture isn't good enough to display, then my money **** sure wouldn't be good enough for her to spend.
2007-03-12 00:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by JusMe 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋