I didn't know he worked there when i started. We broke up because of a stupid argument, we were both very proud and neither said 'I'm sorry'. I have missed him for years. He told me today that he is now married with three children. He loves his wife and children, but he said he also misses me and regrets that we are no longer together, and not a day goes by when he doesnt think of me. We work in the same building and will now see each other everyday. I don't know what to do. The old chemistry is there but he is married and I don't want to hurt his wife. I am in a long term relationship and don't want to hurt my partner. How do I stop anything from happening. As I feel the chemistry but don't want to be rude and not talk to him when I see him.
2007-03-11 23:49:22 · 5 answers · asked by crazychick1975 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You have multiple possibilities.
* Look for a new job and remove yourself from temptation
* Give in to temptation
* Go on as it is and remind yourself that neither he nor you are free to pursue a romantic interest. You might be friends, you might even flirt, but it has to stop there.
* Become friends with his wife and make sure he becomes friends with your husband.
In all cases you can either talk with your spouse about it and get his moral support and suggestions how to handle it best or you can keep quiet and try to handle it for yourself.
I personally would suggest to talk with your spouse, try to become friends with the wife of your ex and take it from there. A change of job might not be necessary.
In case you decide to go for the affair think about the possible consequences
* you succeed in keeping it hushed up
- excitement
- bad conscience?
* you don't succeed in keeping it hushed up
- endangered relationships for both of you
* you might find out that the chemistry is only great because you can't have each other and disappears when you end up in bed.
* you might find out that he really is the other half of your life.
* workplace policies regarding romantic involvements of employees?
You will have to live with the consequences of your decision. So think hard about it and about all possible consequences and decide according to what YOU consider the most probable and preferred outcome.
2007-03-12 03:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by ab1609 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself and chill out. Dont think much of him. If he says he thinks of you, say 'thank you' and move on. Romance is a matter of time and more you see him, the more you will think of him. That doesnt mean you still love him. If he says something pleasing , take it is a compliment.
Dont worry!! Everything will be fine. Take your partner in confidence and tell him about your past life. You will feel free.
2007-03-12 00:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by Liberty tower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your issue, yet you want to relax. She chosen you, she keeps to pick on you, and it sounds like she has some superb barriers in position. leave that's. that's meant to be a contented time on your existence, she's likely delighted to be engaged and making plans your wedding ceremony, so do not spoil it with baseless lack of self assurance. And easily, if she develops emotions for a "casual ex" over her fiance, then you definately didn't want her besides. yet i do not imagine which will ensue :-)
2016-12-01 21:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By showing respect for both your present relationships, you can have a genuine platonic friendship with your ex and not create complications.
2007-03-12 01:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by ann t 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
several answers apply could find another job ,could tell partner about him so he dont hear about it from someone else,could ask ex to respect you and his wife and stay professional with you,.................. could jump his bones
2007-03-11 23:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by workin_man66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋