I didnt realise this was a major problem, until she broke up with me two weeks ago. I love her to death and im completely devastated. She was my 1st ever gf and we have been together since high school. I understand she needs space, but i dont want to lose her without a fight. I have been told if i proposed to her 2 or 3 months ago she would have said yes.
I really dont understand how she can go from wanting to spend the rest of her life with me to not wanting me at all now!!
Please help me with some decent advice, should i give her space or should i keep persisting, what would you girls want????
2007-03-11 23:01:28 · 13 answers · asked by N. Andrews 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes i did buy a ring a while ago and she knows about it but it hasnt helped. I love her sooo much she means the world to me. I would marry her tomorrow if that would bring her back.
2007-03-11 23:15:17 · update #1
What in the world were you waiting for? Did you just assume she would always be there for you? I will tell you what changed she got sick and tired of being taken for granted. When was the last time you told her you loved her? When was the last time you brought her flowers? Did you ever even indicate that you wanted to marry her? Obviously she loves you or she would not have invested 10 years of her life in you. So here is what I would do. Buy her roses. But do this in a romantic way. Buy 1 rose and send it to her with a note telling her how much you love her. The next day buy two roses and another note. Every day buy one more rose with notes that are ever more ardent. When you get to 12 roses deliver them yourself and make sure you tuck an engagement ring in the bouquet. This may be your only chance so don't mess up. Don't be afraid to commit to this woman. In your heart you already have and now it is time to take the next step. Good luck!!!
2007-03-11 23:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she ever make it clear to you that that is where you were heading? She wanted to get married or else she was leaving?
Personaly, I see no problem with being together for 10 years and not getting married,ever. I just don't put that much importance on the piece of paper. 10 years is a big commitment anyway and I couldn't imagine having the position your girl has. For some however, it is a deal breaker. Perhaps she thought you didnt want to commit to her and she thought it best to leave now.
She still loves you. Maybe she did this to give you a wake up call. Were you taking her for granted and not listening to what she wanted and needed from you? Did you get to comfortable? Do you actually want to get married? Do not say yes just because you don't want to loose her. Ulitmatiums and marriage are ridiculous. It has to be a mutual decision and something you both want equally. If you just aren't there yet then perhaps you do need to be apart.
I would ring her up and ask her out on a date. Go enjoy each others company. Have some fun together. Then tell her that she is your world and that you do want to be with her. If you do or don't want to get married to her then, tell her that. Tell her what your wants and needs are.
The problem with having a long term relationships so young is that your needs and wants, as you grow, do not always align. Perhaps they will in the future but right now maybe you need to take this time to assess what it is you both need out of a relationship.
Don't do something you do not want to do just because you are scared of losing her. If you do marry her just to keep her it will backfire.
You are not a mind reader, if she didn't tell you that she wanted this commitment then you weren't to know. There seems to be a communication problem here.
Put your cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. If she walks away so easily from a 10 year relationship then it wasn't meant to be.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-11 23:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Meg D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's that old saying, if you love something, set it free? Anyway, she was you first and only girlfriend. Perhaps you both need your space. See other people. Spend time with friends. Figure out what your own interests are apart from each other. Look at this as an opportunity. If you do end up back together--great! If not, don't be so slow when the next one comes around.
2007-03-11 23:13:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this sounds like me in reverse, I was the one who didn't want to get married but my partner persevered with me and we are now married.
You will find that this girl just wants some sort of commitment from you after all you have been together for ever and all your friends have probably already got married or are engaged. Phone her, tell her that you love her and that you want it work between you both but you will not be pressured into marriage just to get her back, if she wants some space give it to her but if things work out why don't you get engaged and take things from there, my hubby and I were engaged for 8 years before I would agree to getting married so getting engaged would show your commitment.
Also you need to ask yourself, why have you been so slow to propose? Are you ready for the committment?
2007-03-11 23:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space as requested. It will show her that you respect her wishes. Has she told you why she needs space? or what has happened? It sounds like you two need to communicate a little more. I'm guessing that if your relationship was ok then she may have met somebody else. Ask her. Anyhow step aside for a while & let her work herself out as long as she knows that you love her & want her back.
2007-03-11 23:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by Mishell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she meant a lot to then you definately why did it take you ten years and her leaving you to make certain how a lot you adore her? possibly your basically too used to her and your fearful of replace. i replaced into with someone for 6 years and that i broke it off earlier he proposed. There comes a level on your existence the position you both **** or get off the pot! It feels like she were given off the pot. Sorry on your loss.
2016-12-01 21:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be her immature (not to mention stupid) way of pressuring you into marriage. If ya stop and think about it who goes from wanting to be with you forever and then just walking away because you didn't ask her? Could also be her way of dumping you and making it look like it was your fault. If you want to be with her ask yourself if your ready to marry her. Now if your not ready then don't propose just to keep her with you. After you've decided what you want then you should talk with her but don't chase after her. If it wasn't meant to be then so be it.
2007-03-11 23:17:13 · answer #7 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would want you to make a suprise propsal somewhere like where she works keep on persisting her if she wanted at some point to spend the rest of her life with you then she still wants that so wen you get the opportunity to do that propose to her make it really romantic like a film she likes or something that interests her
2007-03-11 23:16:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get to know her parents real quick. for a surprise attack. meaning surprise her then ask her to marry you. Spring is coming up. think of something cool and simple. might work
2007-03-11 23:12:26 · answer #9 · answered by vulu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you really must give her a little more space, because it need time to think of your relationship!!!!??
2007-03-11 23:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Dya - The white Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋