There this guy I like alot and we're great friends and can talk about anything and everything, we even live next door to each other, anyways, his girlfriend of 4 years died 3 years ago, he hasnt dated anyone else since and is still very upset daily over it,...he gives signs that hes interested in me like that, but i think he feels almost guilty, its like we both like each other but his gf is preventing us both from pursuing anything (she really was a great fantastic woman, I only knew her in passing, but from what he says..wow..she was great) Anyways, should i pursue it w/ him? I mean its been 3 years, right?..or is that being completely insensitive? I dont think he'll ever pursue it, because he still feels he has to be loyal to her ( and i completely understand that)..but hes 24, he has to move on, right?
2007-03-11 22:59:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let him heal... i mean... four years is a long time with someone... just be there for him. let him know that there are people that care about him... show him that you're not a replacement, more of a rather new experience! don't compare yourself with his ex, that will just lead you to somewhere you don't want to be... he will move on... just don't rush him or pressure him into anything... he's been through something... and you won't be much help like that! no worries... things will turn out for the better! hope it helps! :D
2007-03-11 23:08:05 · answer #1 · answered by rocker_in_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what I see is he just needs more time to get over and accept the fact that she is no more there for him. He loved her so much that he feels guilty to start any relationship at this time. Three years after her death is not enough for him to move on. So at this time he heart doesn't have any time to start any thing new. He needs again some space, even some more years. But you can be with him and help him not to think about his girl friend all the time hurting him self.
As you said you are close friends, this will not be difficult for you. When you are convinced about the timing how to start with him, you have to be careful about all his thoughts about his deceased girl friend. He might expects you to be like her and you should be ready how to handle this.
Good Luck!
2007-03-11 23:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will always have a decent room in his heart and memories, and this, in my humble opinion, is a sign of him being a decent man you can't easily find.
Believe it or not, but the fact is that man cannot think less "I won't say forget" a wman except when another woman appears in his life. I think you have a very good chance with this guy, and I think it's worth of a good try, and also I think he might be the type you can rarely find. Having these feelings yet for her, shows that he can love. People who can love are likely to love again, especially when they realize, and they definitely do it sooner or later, that there is nothing to feel guilt about. I am a guy, and I feel what I am telling you. I wish you best luck with him.
2007-03-11 23:07:03 · answer #3 · answered by RareBird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he needs to move on. 3 years!!!? You are not being insensitive. Here's an idea; I just bet you could be the person that lets him know he's off the hook and everything is alright. It may be that you have to say come on and live a little and drag him out of the doldrums. He could be just waiting for that considering his situation.
2007-03-11 23:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him something like this:
I have been your friend for three years, so you know I am speaking the truth. It's time for you to let her go. You have cherished her, but you need to decide within yourself that she would not expect you to devote your life to a memory. She would want you to try again.
2007-03-11 23:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him! the grieving process takes different time spans for each individual. Carry on doing what your doing and if you meet someone else in the meantime so be it
2007-03-11 23:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont force the man to move on, let him be
all the guy wants is space
time is all he has left to devote to his ex..
2007-03-11 23:04:23 · answer #7 · answered by answer! this 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋