i have been in a relationship for 6years.we love each other very much.but whenever we get into an arguement my bf talks to me very rudely and harshly.for which he apologises afterwards and promises not to repeat but he is the same next time also.just bcoz of this we have many times decided to break off but to no conclusion.i m extremely sensitive kind of person and cant take this abusive behviour so lightly.many times i have talked to him about this but its of no use.we have marriage plans also.i am afraid that such cruel behaviour of my bf can even get more harsh in future.i cant live without him but i dont know how to make him understand my feelings.we are also physically involved.plz suggest what should i do?
2007-03-11 22:35:08 · 8 answers · asked by kamya aggarwal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off is this real love,Put your marriage plans on hold for the time being you's realy have to sit down and talk to one another and find out what do you's realy want out of your relationship.The problem you have at the moment is you have let his behaviour take control.It sounds like to me you's need time out have a break from one another to think where you will be in 5yrs cause once his behaviour starst it only gets worse.The old saying is you can't teach an old dog new tricks i wish you luck in the future
2007-03-11 23:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by david p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i've been here, and first things first, Ask yourself what you are doing wrong. Dont play innocent, you cant argue by yourself. You could be passive aggressive and that causes alot of problems. As in you chose to be docile, quiet, and sensitive, but go to far outside of that when you argue or feel pushed. IE you can dish it out but you can't take it. If your passive, and he is just being cruel for no reason, you should leave but from my impression that is not so, or you would not be "arguing". Before you blame him, think of what ways you can avoid the situation. Possibly agreeing with things untill the mood calms down, then explain your problems peacefully. Also you could be argumentitive, in which you come up with opposition just to oppose something. (I personally am that way, I'll even oppose things i am VERY much in favor of, just to see another persons point of view) So watch yourself, and i know it's tough, but if you can recognize the problem it will atleast releive the frustration. And if he can understand that maybe he can help calm the problems also. But after 6 years, you both know how to push each others buttons pretty well, so any argument can get pretty dirty, and their is no innocent party. My suggestion, figure yourself out a bitmore, notice the patterns and fix yourself before you make bigger decisions.
2007-03-11 22:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by Kyle E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have put in so much into the relationship.
In my opinion you should learn to accept a man's flaws.
Is nt love all about accepting another human being for what they are.
I agree the arguments and the abuses are bad, but can't you prevent a situation from getting into an argument.
Every time he starts saying things you don't like, just walk out and return when he is in a better frame of mind.
In life, we all have our flaws and another human being accepts that. So should you.
Be happy with what you got. Its better to live with a known devil than be with an unknown angel.
2007-03-11 22:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by CG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DOOMED. But you already knew that. He has no tolerance. You feel his disagreement means he is abusive. What is the difference between caustic and abusive? They both happen in a loud voice, both happen when you both are angry. The main difference is the intent of the discussion. One seeks to hurt the other, and ones intent is to discredit the other's argument. You must really anger him.
2007-03-11 22:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you already be attentive to the respond. men love the chase. do no longer EVER chase men! you will lose all of them too speedy! in case you like him to no longer take you with no attention, disappear even longer this time. Get busy with different events outdoors of him. enable him chase you and once you're taking him returned, end all the texting and calling etc. that's a great thank you to maintain dropping him.
2016-11-24 21:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't get it after 6 years...he ain't ever gonna get it. Sorry but 'a leopard never changes their spots'...so my mum always says and sadly I have to agree with her. I know that seems harsh but basically you have to weigh up whether you want to be treated like that for the rest of your life or not. Your choice.
2007-03-11 22:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by bundy_bee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think so, if he really loves you, then he should'nt have let you go,in the first place no matter what the problem is, even if you both have decided to break off. i mean 6yrs is 6 yrs!
2007-03-11 22:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by dian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's in aw of u. cant changed him just got 2 let it go or except him. he degrades u cause he see u on a higher level then him and it might b true! Chuck the looser.
2007-03-11 22:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by sitting_in_th3_cut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋