A friend of mine fancies a married guy and although he has made it clear that he fancies her too, he is not making a move although he is indicating that he would like her to do this. He seems to be wanting the "she made me do it" escape route so that maybe he doesn't end up feeling so guilty about having an affair? Any ideas why he wants her to make the move? (Also, no moral stuff here, we all know this is socially unnacceptable, wrong and will end up hurting people etc. I'm asking for an opinion on the guy's attitude. Thanks.
2007-03-11 21:44:17 · 15 answers · asked by SK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
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His wife probably keeps a close watch on him.
He can't take her to his place, he can't be seen with her,.
So it is sorta up to her to say ,
Why don't you shake the old lady and come on over to my place .
Because he is married and willing to fool around, ,but not planning to leave his wife.
He needs to know she won't create a big scene.
The courts, make ex husbands pay ex wives, not Visa- versa, he has a lot to lose.
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2007-03-13 12:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just enjoys the game. I worked for a man who was married, and he had about four different women falling all over the place around him. He never cheated on his wife, but he sure enjoyed the attention he got from the other women. It was almost creepy how he wanted everyone to think he was having an affair. I think he really is enjoying the game. It could be that he wants her to make the first move so he can blame her in the end, and make her look like a homewrecker, but it is hard to say. He honestly doesn't sounds like someone worth spending time with (obviously because of the wife but also because he is in no way a man).
2007-03-11 23:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he waits for her to move he keeps control. He doesn't need to lie, promise, work hard to get what he wants, if your friend doesn't deliver the world is full of those that will.
He isn't looking for a relationship, he is probably OK with the one he has, but he is looking for a bit of boredom relief and he is a trapper rather than a hunter.
Walk into the web and the more you move the harder you are stuck. He is definitely playing games and trying to catch watever he can rather than having a serious motive to do something with somebody he likes and respects. Trappers are not very selective about what they catch because the profit is in quantity and not quality as far as they are concerned.
2007-03-11 21:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by John B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is married so for him to make a move it is difficult. What you need to do is take the initiative. Book a hotel room near his work. Then ask to meet him at lunch time to give him a meal like has never had. Then make this a weekly ritual. Both of you will find it a delightful treat and something to do for as long as you remain attracted to each other. Keep in mind he probably won't leave his wife for you though.
2007-03-11 22:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by Bob M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he likes the feeling of being wanted.... the kind of flattery.....! Advise your freind not to boost his ego, if she really must see him, have the affair then make him do all the chasing else, he will simply blame her when his wife finds out.
Not a good situation, she be much better of finding someone less complicated, and right for her.
2007-03-12 00:46:59 · answer #5 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell 2 ur friend 2 live him along.
Like him or not, he has a family.
She souled break up a family. She souled be a shame of her self.!!!!!
I'm sure that she would like if she was married or had a bf another woman to do this 2 her!!!
Don't do it.
2007-03-11 22:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by iona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just 'that' type. You know the type that likes to have women coming on to him. Or maybe he wouldnt really go through with it if it came to it but likes to keep up the pretence that he is a player to be popular with the ladies.
I caught my hubby flirting with a 'trout' from his work on msn messenger. He says (not that i beleive him) that he wouldnt have gone through with it, but it was nice to feel wanted by someone else other than me!
2007-03-11 21:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by JustJem 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is looking just for a fling. Once he gets your friend he will use her and go back to his wife. From the description he seems to be an pushover. So steer clear.
2007-03-11 21:57:17 · answer #8 · answered by Fernandes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he making her do all the running so when he has finished playing he can turn round to her and say "I knew we shouldnt have done this" and i also think you are right he going to turn round and say that she pestered him and she put it on a plate for him so it was hard to resist.
2007-03-11 21:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by bobbleheado5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on guys!
It's only sex, nothing more.
They are both interested in having some fun together and as long as they don't get caught let them get on with it!
People get to hung-up about this sought of thing!
2007-03-11 22:12:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋