What do you think of this explanation of why people become parents?

Question

The argument is as follows: people have kids principally to validate their own self worth. That's why the majority of people who have other ways of making themselves feel good - either through having an important or interesting job, or who have a lot of money or freedom - tend to have fewer kids. People who don't have these things can get the same kind of feeling from the status of being a parent, and from the love they get from their kids when they are young.

Please note: I'm not saying I agree with it - I was just interested in what other people thought.

Answer 1

I understand what you are saying, but I don't agree with it.

There are many reasons that people choose to become parents. But, the most apparent one is that it is what we are programmed to do. It is what God has hardwired into us.....to procreate, in order to propegate the species.

I would hope that most people choose to have children simply for the sake of having a home full of love to lavish upon them. To have a family.

Unfortunately, there are too many people out there having children for their own convoluted, self-serving reasons. Which is nothing but selfish and cruel.

Children are precious. And, I think that people should realize what a privelege that they are given, when gifted with a child. A privelege and a responsibility.

Answer 2

I was born into money and went on to obtain my Masters degree in Psychology and for 12 yrs I practiced as a clinical psychologist. At age 22 I had my daughter. I was married and felt like many married couples it was time to start a family. I did not do it to validate my own self worth and my job was important to those I worked with {patients} and it was very interesting. 13yrs 1 month and 15 days later I gave birth to my second child and guess what I was by that time married into money infact the family I married into has almost the same net worth as my birth family. This little guy came along because after my daughter was born I was told it would be almost impossible to have another child. And although the pregancy was hard and on 2 occassions we almost lost him it was worth it. I wont have anymore kids hell Im 35 and had my tubes tied. No one that has kids maintains all their freedom when I had my first I stopped living my life for me and started living it for her now I breath and live for both my kids. I hope this made some sense.

However and this might upset alot of ppl. I have known families in the past that were not finacially "comfortable" and had several children. Ive known families that work minimum wage jobs with 3-5 kids that have to swallow their pride and ask for help in the form of foodstamps, medical care and such. I dont know if they had these children in order to "validate" their lives but I know they love their children just as much as I do mine.

Answer 3

I have done no studies or research on this myself, but I think this may be true to some extent. I say that because I am currently in a situation where I think the reverse might be true. I have been looking for a job for more than a month now, and despite all the ads I see for jobs I *could* do, none seem fulfilling or interesting to me. And it's important for me to have a job that I feel is important and interesting and fulfilling. I'm really bummed about the prospect of sitting behind a desk answering phones or trying to sell credit card processing machines to retailers ... ugh. (Not to mention that these sorts of jobs don't utilize my education or skills learned at prior jobs.)

And, I'm in my mid-30s, and have never had kids. The thought struck me just the other day: Am I seeking satisfaction from my career that I might not be seeking if I were a parent and felt important and fulfilled in other ways? I don't know if this is true or not, but it did provide some food for thought for me ... and a challenge to the beliefs I had previously held about myself.

So I don't know, but maybe. I expect you might hear from some parents who say this theory is not true.

Answer 4

your argument is crap. It's not about self worth. and as for interesting or important job!!! Being a parent is the most interesting (a new challenge everyday, you get to look at the world in new ways, your child is always growing as a person) and important( can't get more important than raising a new human being to be a grown up that is responsible, respectable and kind) job there will ever be.
My kids will love me when they are young as well as when they are old. That is not my reason for having children. My reasons are my own but it wasn't so I would receive love....I already had that.

Answer 5

My wife and I have one kid. Ever since I was little, around 5-6 I wanted kids. Lol, I want more kids than my wife does actually. When asked what kind of car I wanted till I hit my mid teens, I wanted a massive 12 seater van to hold all the kids I wanted. It has nothing to do with self worth. I have an interesting job, I make decent pay, as does my wife. If your a really good parent, your kid will love you after you get older and they move out of the house. If that is how anyone feels, then they should just get fixed.

Answer 6

Well I think it is completely ridiculous do to the fact that most people don't plan on getting pregnant when it happens.

I know that I have a very satisfying life as far as my career I own my own business My husband of twenty years owns his own business and we have 4 children. So that blows that theory.

And to be perfectly honest with you I don't think that I would have had so many kids if I couldn't afford them it seems to me that would only bring me a feeling of failure.

The reason we had kids was because we wanted to. We were terribly excited with each and every one of them. And I would not trade one second of my life with my kids for all the power or money in the world.

So I guess you can say that I think I get more from my kids than I do from my career.

Answer 7

I think it's crap lol Sorry for the bluntness but I had a child when I was broke and was happy and had kids when I had gone to college and made descent money and was happy. Look at the man in arkansas he made good money owned a dealership and has like 16 kids, my ex was from a family of 10 kids and they were far from poor.

Answer 8

What a load of tosh. People have kids because that is what we are predesigned to do. Do you think I go through the horrors of being a parent of teenagers because I want to?

Answer 9

reason I had kids ---> I was told i would never get perago had medical problems boom at 17 feeling really sick go to Dr and he say wow your perago oops but it wont happen again and guess what a year latter I'm perago again and again and again

I'm now a proud mommy of 5 baby's and we are all happy my dr was stupid

Answer 10

No - I don't agree with it.