In this situation I think im wrong. We've been in a relationship for a good year. We have been through a lot

Question

I broke up with my girl when i found out she was joining a sorority because from the day i met her i told her no i dislike them Thing is she promised to not do it. Now this sorority is a really disciplined one not those lets party they can't party 2 much. So when I broke up with her she begged me to take her back and she swore she wouldn't do it. I said no that I would take her back and she could go on and do it. I felt bad she's a really really good girl n yes iam really protective but its cause i care about her thats why i need advice. I've had my girls but only really cared about this one.Ok the pleadging procces is only on fri, sat Sleep over and such. but now it turns out to be 6 weeks So here i am on 2 weeks n dont understand why she goes through the pain. It has changed her some good some bad but she wont be there for my 21st birthday and she does all she can 2 see me, breaks the sisters rules and all 2 c me but i hate the fact that i am no longer the main priority in her life.

Answer 1

As part of a couple you need to realize that two people who are together still need to have their seperate lives and to have some freedom to live their lives. They don't get to tell each other what they can and can't do, that only builds resentment and they end up doing what they want anyway, usually. The best thing to do is support what your partner does and try to work around it. Hopefull your partner will make every effort to make the relationship work and thrive while she is experiencing other things in her life, which is sounds like she is. In a healthy relationship, partners influence each other's decisions to a degree, but they don't make decisions for each other. Then they support each other as long as it's something they can live with. You can't change people and it's best not to try. You either accept them or let them go.

Answer 2

I don’t know, I think you were a little too selfish here. Once she joined the sorority, she pleaded to come back promising she won’t do it again but you refused it anyway right?? Sometimes you need to realize that she is also another individual and you have to let the other person make the mistakes and learn from them.

I understand that you are way too protective of her because you love her but have you heard what happens to the sand when you hold it too tightly in your palms??? Most of the sand is more likely to slip away. But if you hold the sand loose in your palms, most are likely to remain!!!!!

Sometimes in a relationship you need to give in, not give up!!!!

Answer 3

you are insisting your girl break rules. that's not good for her education...she may break other rules to see you, like skipping classes and then maybe going out to party by her sister's insistance. hey, you really need to realize what you are doing to her. school, job changes, resident changes. if you dont realize that a sorority is part of extra's for a good resume for her future/your future then you might as well have a piece of paper and write out your entire future with her now.
garantee there are bumps along the way that you have to bend some. she's young, youre young...one step at a time kiddo. find time to be together without breaking rules now.
learn early before you get married to get along when there is space in between visits. k peace

Answer 4

nicely i'm able to verify why your under pressure. i've got been in my courting with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We had long undergone tough patches and that's generic relationships, come on do you think of each and every courting have no issues in any respect and get alongside each and every 2nd? No. whether that is not wholesome in case you get into fights familiar, have confidence me. i'm able to verify why you would be insecure on the subject of the placement with him watching porn, i've got been there too. I continually theory i may be while in comparison with those or the different ladies. See the difficulty here is your communication. have you ever tried speaking to him as a exchange of freaking out? permit him understand the type you sense in a appropriate way, like saying you sense uncomfortable with him watching porn. convey regret with the actuality you have been slightly controlling for the previous month. in case you clarify your in basic terms under pressure and you do no longer advise to take it out on him, he could understand. besides have confidence, communication is an significant element in a courting, without it you will continually be in this tough patch. So in basic terms talk with him, and in case you do sense particularly undesirable approximately controlling and freaking out at him, why no longer do something specific for him? i wish each and every thing is going nicely! sturdy success and that i wish I helped you.

Answer 5

college is abt learnning and experiencing new things . why dont u join a club/org. so u also have somthung to do and people to talk to when shes not around . You can each have lives outside of the relastionship and have a healthy relationship as long as you both make time for eachother

Answer 6

You have some serious insecurities, man.You need to ask yourself what caused them....maybe you were hurt somehow as a child? Are you looking for a mother figure? I don't know.....I'm not a psychaiatrist. But, yea, you can't tell women what to do.. this is your shortcoming and until you understand why you need to control a woman....you will continue to have these problems.

Answer 7

dont try to have her on lockdown. let her do her things & u dont have to be the main priority in her life cause obviously she has a life outside of u & there is nothing wrong with that. if u keep pressuring her like that u r going to loose her.

Answer 8

You need to stop being so darn selfish you dont own her its not protective its controlling . If you really love her than you would back up anything she wanted to do not set rules on her your not her daddy your suppose to be her bf.

Answer 9

Sounds like you have some control issues, as well as insecurity. If you loved her, you'd trust her not to do anything behind her back. It sounds like you're worried that if you're not with her every second of everday, some other guy will be. She's not your daughter, relax chief.

Answer 10

i say u need professional help. contact a good psychiatrist now. not for her, fo u