After many struggles, including seeing a therapist, we ended our relationship. He said he has hoped of me changing, and now it comes to realization that I am a selfish, dark, cold heart *****. I drove the car, and I broke it, and now I cannot drive it anymore. He said he has turned his life up side down for me and I ruined everything. He said I cannot be happy alone with myself and no relationship can work for me. I cried while he was telling me all this. He swore off the relationship,and kicked me out of his apt. Ever since then, we never contacted each other.
I miss him so much. I cannot believe he is doing this.Thinking about life w/o him, my stomach turns, my heart aches. I blame itall on myself. I am a love addict. but I tried everything to make this work. I hate myself not able to treasure him and love him appropriately, and I hate him not seeing my effort, but quitting it now. I still cannot believe this break up is real. How can love changes so fast?
2007-03-11 19:43:24 · 12 answers · asked by The confused one 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your reponses are so important to me. I just want to add that, there is no cheating. He broke up because he thinks I am unappreiciating and treat him badly. Yes, I have been and still am going through a rough time myself (working 24-7 but still getting fired, many exams in school, one law suit, family fighting..). and I have always hoped he can be more surpportive. Now looking back the past, I see his efforts and desperations, and I have tried so hard to control my emotion and be encouraging too. I can see how i lost him gradually. I just thought he can fight through this period with me and I just though his love is more enduring and stronger (as he promised). Now I am not even confidient about myself. I do not know if I can change for him, but all I can is to try. and I know that is not enough, and I cannot do anything if he is part of it. It is just this is so hard 4 me.
2007-03-12 07:03:26 · update #1
Your reponses are so important to me. I just want to add that, there is no cheating. He broke up because he thinks I am unappreiciating and treat him badly. Yes, I have been and still am going through a rough time myself (working 24-7 but still getting fired, many exams in school, one law suit, family fighting..). and I have always hoped he can be more surpportive. Now looking back the past, I see his efforts and desperations, and I have tried so hard to control my emotion and be encouraging too. I can see how i lost him gradually. I just thought he can fight throught this period with me and I just though his love is more enduring and stronger (as he promised). I do not know if I can change for him, but all I can is to try. and I know that is not enough, and I cannot do anything if he is not part of it. It is just this is so hard 4 me. I feel so like I ruined a perfect love. and I killed his love. I just wish we could go back and I can do it all over again. but I know I cann't
2007-03-12 07:06:35 · update #2
What was the cause for the breakup? Did you cheat, you need to be more specific about your question
2007-03-11 19:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you two really gave it a good try. Don't be too hard on yourself or him. There's only so much that anyone can take after a while............Think about the things that he desperately wanted and needed you to change. Was it not possible for you? We don't have to give up our own identiy, personality and individuality, but in any relationship, there must be a compromise somewhere. What bothered him most about you was probably so unbearable to him that he tried to be patient and understanding to the point of lost hope. Although love is suppose to be accepting of each other in every way and not try to change one another, but you need to communicate with each other to see why the change is necessary and important. It could mean a world of difference. Don't give up on him or your love. Maybe he needs some time for a bit.
2007-03-12 03:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you feel really bad, maybe if it wasn't working,he may have been the wrong guy to make you happy, and this is what you deserve. I always think that if someone leaves your life, that means that is because the right man is on the way to find you. Sometimes if someone is nasty to you, it only makes you want them more. That's not the way it should be. Just give yourself some pampering and then go right out and have fun in your life, when you are enjoying yourself someone special will come into your life, who thinks your are special and wonderful and that is what you deserve.
2007-03-12 03:06:51 · answer #3 · answered by chez006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't blame yourself and be so hard on yourself!
Relationships are about sacrifice and compromise.
And you know what? His loss. Maybe it'll still work out, maybe it wont, just give it time.
And if it doesn't, hey you just gotta keep thinking that someone else so much better is coming around the corner.
You just gotta believe that it wasn't meant to be.
If it was, it would have worked out. There is someone special out there for all of us you just gotta keep waiting till he comes around.
If you are stuck on one relationship and stuck in the pass you will miss what is right in front of you, and it could be something grand, someone far more than he could ever be.
And maybe it'll work out. You never know, you just gotta keep trusting that things will work out and hoping for the best and handling everything as best as you possibly can!
And if it doesn't work out with this current guy, you have to move on. Its his loss and if he doesn't like you so what? I bet there is someone out there that does. Its ok I know that you feel hurt but everything'll work out.
You can do it, I have total faith in you.
"No Man is worth you tears...but the one that is won't make you cry."
Good luck!
2007-03-12 02:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by Bri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow......i wish someone could love me like that. having said that, now take a look at what you're doing wrong. if you loved this man the best way you knew how, then you DID love him appropriately. you can only take responsability for your own actions, not his also. therefor you cannot blame this all on yourself. if you've done everything in your power to salvage the relationship unsuccessfully, then perhaps you're just incompatable. however, if you're not ready to give up just yet, you can regain some of your personal power back by not calling him, untill he contacts you.
2007-03-12 02:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by francolsc7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear you're taking the breakup so hard. idk if hearing this will help at this time, but you definatly deserve somone who wont talk to you in the way he did. Of course, he must have had his good points for you to have liked him so much, but from the perspective of somone just reading ur question you were going out with a total douch bag (sorry). He most definatly isnt 'the one' for you, in case that is what you were thinking. You deserve better, no man worth your time will ever call you a *****, talk down to you, and insult you in the way he did! I know you dont want to hear it i HATE it when people tell me this, but the only thing that will heal your pain is time. it sucks i know, but try to spend as much time w/ your friends as you can and have fun, dont try to find another guy too fast just try to enjoy yourself. dont worry things will get better soon.
2007-03-12 02:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by somedude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really believe there is someone for everyone out there. And I believe the one and most important thing that someone else should have is that he loves you as much as you love him. That should be the main thing. Before the he is smart, sweet, handsome, etc.
And it doesnt seem he has that. So he is not the one. Just try to dedicate some time for yourself, to arrange your ideas, your goals, etc. Soon enough you will be ok.
2007-03-12 02:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Edith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship is not healthy for you to be in. It is good you are out of it now, before it totally ruined your life. That man is no good; and he knows it. He is not the kind of guy a woman would want to keep. That guy is a bad news; and smart women would want to stay away from him. You may not know it now, but you are very, very lucky that he is out of your life. You obviously have no idea how truly lucky you are.
2007-03-12 03:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really rough going through what you are i know im still going through it and its been almost two years how long were you together ? I was married for 14 years now weve been seperated for almost two years now it still hurts me it does ease up a little though dear but dont believe all the bull**** hes telling you -about how bad you are and all that crap if you want someone to talk to (support) E-mail me matt2269f@yahoo.com
2007-03-12 02:53:18 · answer #9 · answered by matt2269f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't change fast. it changes slowly, u were just blind not to see his unsatisfaction with u. probably that's why some women can keep a man and some can't - they notice when a partner changes his mood and fix their behavior before their man gets disappointed in them. but him kicking u out of apartment was a very big step. i say he won't take u back, so remember everything what he told u and try to fix it. the most important i say to fix your inability of being happy alone with yourself. probably u were too overwhelming for him with your unnecessary enduring love
2007-03-12 02:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋