I've been dating this guy for 10 months, he has been previously married and divorced and has one son. He told me he doesn't have any plans of ever getting married again. Am I wasting my time, I am 20 years old, I don't plan on getting married now, but a girl likes to think that she at least have a future with a guy. Should I dump his a**???
2007-03-11 19:33:56 · 18 answers · asked by tha_best 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are only 20 and good looking and have a great personality, why not keep on dating him? He will change his mind eventually unless he is REALLY screwed up emotionally. I'd give it some time. In the meanwhile, since you are putting up with his baggage, make sure you are getting something out of this guy in return.
2007-03-12 14:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He told me he doesn't have any plans of ever getting married again."
Believe him.
Then go out and read any relationships book. It will tell you the same thing I just said.
If you are looking at getting married..to him. It won't likely happen.
If you are content to live with him with no marriage, then pick your battles and stay, but if you are about the same age, he's already married and divorced, with a son, too young.
He's told you clearly what he wants. Feel lucky, as most girls go along for years, as the guy tells them:
I love you, but I'm not In Love With You...or
I Might Be Able to Be Convinced To Marry You.. One Day.. in the Future, Maybe.
If you are serious about getting married to him, propose. You have been with him 10 months. 6 months is a long enough time to know. If he says no, then move on.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 02:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question. It is very natural for you to be dating for the purpose of one day compiling enough information about guys so that you can make an intelligent choice as to a spouse. Well you certainly can't gather anything meaning full about this guy if he has stated he doesn't want to get married again. So here is the picture...he has his kid, he is set on a place to live...probably has a job and oh by the way has someone to have sex with with no strings attached since he doesn't want to get married. Does that sound like he is making out on the deal...does to me. Its obvious to me the two of you are after different things and you know what...you have plenty to offer and I am sure you are attractive so go find what you are looking for and not just be part of his script that he is writing, directing, producing and starring in. Go produce your own story with someone that wants to produce it with you...Good Luck!
2007-03-12 02:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by chcman74 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll date him for a couple years and then be ready to marry and he'll say I told you I don't want to marry.
So basically he clearly told you that he doesn't want to do something that he figures you do want to do, he's probably expecting you to dump him any day now.
Yes you're wasting your time, dump him to leave yourself open for someone more on your same level.
2007-03-12 02:41:55 · answer #4 · answered by MissDixie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy has been married and when he says he doesn't plan on it ever again. he means it and no matter how old he gets and how long you be with him he's not getting married to you. i say you leave him. a girl wants to feel secure somewhere in her life and he won't give you any security like you'll one day seek.
2007-03-12 02:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by twan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too much baggage, and you have different goals in life. Take what he says as the truth. Don't be thinking that "well maybe someday I will convince him to marry me...." You seem to be on two different wavelengths now, so better to find someone you will be completely happy with and not keep wasting too much time now.
2007-03-12 02:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by ppodjames 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask him, "What if i wanted a wedding" if his reply is negative... dump him. hes more likely to cheat. Just make sure he doesnt take you are a 'one night stand' thing. Since you;re only 20, do you really want a child to take care of? while you'll probably wanna have your nights out, he might not let you do the things you did, when you were free.
2007-03-12 02:39:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after him been previously married and divorced i can understand why he may not want to get married. he doesnt want to go through the pain again, but maybe you can prove to him that you are not like his ex wife,and he may come around.
2007-03-12 02:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If theres no future then leave him otherwise your wasting you time but atleast talk to him and ask if there ever could be a future
2007-03-12 02:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wasting your time. It looks like he doesn't want to consider including you in HIS plans. In a meaningful relationship there should be no "my" plans, "your" plans; there should be "our" plans only.
2007-03-12 02:39:00 · answer #10 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋