Why do I enjoy this fantasy so much?

Question

I've almost always fantasized about guys breaking up w/ their gfs (NOT wives!!) for me or more like trying to cheat on them with me! the reason I said "try to", because I wont actually let it happen. I'm a good girl, and my conscious mind would not allow me attracting a taken man, but it's weird that my subconscious mind's almost always trying to win a taken guy over. My fav. fantasy: a guy who is taken tries to kiss me, b/c he actually started liking me a lot, and I push him away and tell him "you are dating someone!" and I walk out of the room. So , i dont really want to kiss the guy, b/c that's just wrong, but i just LOVE that feeling that he's willing to take so much risk b/c of me. And It's PURE fantasy! For example, once boyfriend of a really close friend of mine started getting really attached to me (maybe not romantically). Anyway, I stopped talking to him altogether b/c I was afraid about where the attachment was heading, even though i really liked him as a friend! :-(

It's just a FANTASY
I have almost no respect for guys that cheat on their gf's. However, I almost had interest in stories in which the guy and the girl were not supposed to like each other for whatever the reason may be (like one or both of them being taken or racial difference) and they dont cross their limits, but secretly have a soft corner for each other ....
weird things that interest me lol

Answer 1

I guess you want the thrill of being wanted by a guy without the risk of loosing if something goes wrong

Answer 2

Could be a couple reasons. 1 Knowing a guy already has a gf means that he must be good enough to date. You don't have to guess whether guys are ok, you know by seeing guys that are already taken.

2 Leaving his current gf for you is about the strongest statement a guy can make about how much he likes you. It's proof of his love.

3 It's safe. You don't have to actually date anyone, get hurt if they leave, face starting over. If you only choose guys that are taken, you can never expect them to in real life commit to you. You don't have to commit to them either. You can crush on a guy this way but never have to risk actually falling in love, putting your hopes into the relationship.

There are troubles with fantasizing this way tho. 1 You're not letting yourself have an actual relationship. Humans need love, companionship & attention. You're depriving yourself of that.

2 You may be able to keep your hands off now, but the longer you go w/out a bf, the more you will be tempted to allow some guy to kiss you, fall in love & leave his girl.

3 It may only be happenning with gf/bf situations now, but as your lonliness increases, the lines will blur more and more. You will eventually breakup someone's marriage or lifetime partnership.

You probly don't want to hear these things, but inside you have been feeling there might be something wrong with these fantasies. That's why you asked the question whether you know it or not.

Go find a counselor or shrink to help you understand the reasons your psyche needs to protect you from hurt by risking being alone.

Answer 3

Let's keep fantasies in the dream world but don't let a girlfriend stop you from having a relationship. Ask him if he likes you and lay down the rules break up with the girlfriend and friends first before you really start dating then you'll know if he really likes you.

Answer 4

Fantasies that you feel are wrong in real life are natural. You most likely like the thought that you are more attractive than another woman. It's an fine fantasy to have. Many people like to think they can have any boy they want and even ones they don't. So don't worry about and enjoy your fantasies.

Answer 5

that's kind of twisted and dangerous if you ever do put yourself in a situation like that... simply because human desire is one of the most strongest influences and at primal levels, quite basic. if you're alone in a room with a taken guy, there has to be an honest reason why you would be and even though there probably would be, there's a chance that this guy would push himself on you because of that strong desire and even though it would be wrong for him to do this, you still did put yourself in the situation. it still doesn't make it right that he's date-raping you but... it could have been avoided.

Answer 6

That's what fantasy is all about. Something which you want not cannot have (for whatever reasons). I fantasizes about having sex with the ladies in the office all the time and I enjoy every moment of it too. So you're ok.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

You like the feeling of power over men and have a strong desire for men to want you over any other. However in reality you do not have the capability of loving back and do now want a deep relationship with a man for fear of loosing him to another woman. (Did your dad divorce your mom and take up with another woman soon after?)

Answer 9

That is a common feeling that a lot of women have. Let me be the first to say it isn't right. But its no secret that most women want guys that are wanted by other women. Women like to compete over guys and/or have guys compete over them.

Answer 10

wow, that sucks.

you have very strange fantasies but dont we all? i think you just like the thought of being loved or cared abot or wanted.