I have a friend that I am absolutely in love with. She is divorced with kids. I have never been married and have no children. I haven't told her how I feel because I am struggling with the kids part of the relationship.
Does anyone especially guys have any advice on how they handled this type of a situation. I truly love her. And her kids are great I am just stuck on knowing what to do. I am inexperienced with kids and haven't been in this type of a relationship before.
2007-03-11 19:05:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just go with the flow.. Just be friendly with the kids. If she wants them to come along every now and then that’s cool. She might be sizing you up for the title of “daddy”….
If you get along with the kids. When you go over to their home get a few rolls of lifesavers etc and toss them to the kiddos. (If they are that young and like lifesavers.)
Maybe even suggest going to a kids place for a date.. That way she knows your interested in her “whole family” and she’ll like that..
Since you ARE not that great or knowing about kids let her know when all of you go out.. Say it straight out. “Let me know what I need to do if I’m not doing something right.”
Always say stuff like. “That’s up to your mom.” If they ask you for a piggyback ride or something.
2007-03-11 19:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by Renoirs_Dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to date a woman with kids, keep some things in mind:
1. You have to take it seriously. When a mother dates, it will have an impact on her kids' lives. It is up to you whether that impact is positive or negative.
2. You are not an authority figure. Don't try to be another parent. Even if the mother asks you to help discipline the kids, don't do it. That is her responsibility, not yours.
3. Don't butt in to their special moments. The kids still need some alone time with their mother. They don't need you coming over for Christmas morning, or the kids' birthday parties. Only go to those things if you are sure the kids want you to be there.
4. Don't hang out at the mother's house when she is not home. No kid wants to come home from school and find Mommy's boyfriend sitting on the living room couch.
2007-03-12 19:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by Shawn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first step is to talk with her and find out where she is on the feelings for you. if she is not interested in you as a partner then the kids become a non issue..now as to the kids you just need to make sure you are truly in this for the long haul. kids need stability and love. they don't need someone who is going to come into their life for a short period of time and leave. they have already been through one divorce at the least. they don't need any more disappointments. remember kids will be kids and are a handfull. someone elses kids just adds to that handfull. take the first step and go from there
2007-03-12 02:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if at all possible, avoid dating/marrying somebody with kids. They always seem to have lots of excess baggage, with their ex's, etc. Better think a long time on this one before you tell her. Email me for some personal advice (speaking from experience).
P.S. Please answer my guy question I just posted if you can.
2007-03-12 02:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you to do. I just want to tell you, you sound like a great guy. I didn't think there were any left
2007-03-12 02:15:25 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough one..
She & the kids come as a package...
Talk to her, tell her what is going on in your mind...
She is probably wondering....
2007-03-12 02:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋