my boyfriend choose to cancel the marriage because of he is financially unstable. He said that our church wedding will no longer be possible to happen because he has no money to spend. But i still want to marry him even in civil marriage or in a very very simple manner. but i dont beleive that in order for me to get married my groom has to be financially stable because love is more important. But does money really the most important in getting married? Please help.
2007-03-11 18:59:41 · 9 answers · asked by maria lovely 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Together you need to be financially stable. Love is fabulous, but it doesn't pay your rent or keep the water turned on. If you aren't able to be stable enough to support yourselves, there is nothing wrong with waiting. If he is being honest about why he pulled out, he's just being responsible. However, if he actually is stable, which you don't mention he is, you may need to talk this put & make sure he's just not worried about other things.
2007-03-11 19:08:03 · answer #1 · answered by layla983 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money isn't everything, to be sure. It does become an issue , though, when you can't pay the bills or when emergencies show up. Sounds like your finance wants to be a good provider and that is commendable. You might want to go for some premarital counseling with your pastor to lay your concerns about money out on the table in front of a kind mediator. You do need to be at least financilly stable, not rich, but stable, because you can't live on love alone. Gotta have those groceries every time! And new marriages usually signal some new furniture, a move, and much more. Is one of you a saver, the other a spender? Money is funny, girl. It signifies different things to different people; that's why I encourage at least sitting down with a financial counselor to help plan budget. You might see clearly in black and white what it takes to run a home efficiently and still have enough left over for entertainment, an occasional nice meal out on the town some fresh flowers from time to time, etc. I'd gladly settle for a civil ceremony with a man I truly love, but maybe he wants to give you more, a wedding day you will always treasure and a beautiful album of photgraphs to capture the memories. You can work this out if you listen ....both with your heart and your head. Compromise is key in a good marriage.
2007-03-12 04:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes money is important, especially after you're married. Love is one thing, but money is also. You will need money for everything you need for the both of you to start a new life on your own together. Thats the reality in marriage life. If you guys want to just be together because you love each other, don't rush into marriage because love usually fades off when you two will be busy working to make money. You two wont have a lot of time to spend together.
2007-03-12 02:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by =P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes if you wait to be financially stable you will be waiting forever. Do you live together now? If you do then what is the difference. Took my husband and I 12 or 13 years and 5 kids later to be finally more finacially stable. But still we are far far far from rich. We still live paycheck to paycheck for the most part but we are happy, love each other and could die tomorrow and all the money in the world would not have mattered. Should he have a job yes. You don't want to marry a lazy bum.
2007-03-12 07:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by Ladybugs77 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your boyfriend is a very wise man. He is telling you that he does not want to get married until he can provide for you. Men feel the need to provide for their partner and family, it is what makes them feel like men, and most women want and need to feel secure. I understand that you want to marry him now, but you must respect his wishes and needs as well. He has not said that he no longer loves you, and he has no intention of marrying you. He simply said that he is not ready now. You need to take a step back, stop pushing the marriage...enjoy your boyfriend and celebrate your love for each other. The wedding can wait, until you are both ready. If you love each other enough to get married, then your love will not go anywhere while he is doing whatever it is that he needs to do to be ready to provide for the woman he loves. You are a very lucky woman, don't push him away by rushing into something a second before he is ready for it. Be happy and live for today...the wedding will come in time.
2007-03-12 03:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh, my love and I have no real money. We're financially unstable and who cares? Marriage isn't about money and we'd be financially unstable married or not. Just don't get pregnant, that's when money takes it's toll and definitely don't keep the damn thing if you can't afford it! Tell your lover that money doesn't matter. He might want the big ceremony though for whatever reason. Hell, the only reason we're getting married is for the gifts! Hahaha, it's the relationship that matters. If he puts off marrying you for a little while, it's okay.
2007-03-12 04:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not the most important thing but it's the only thing me and my husband ever fight about; so it can cause problems. Unless you need to get on his health insurance or you have kids together, you should just wait. I mean, you don't want to marry someone that isn't feeling it anyway.
2007-03-12 02:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by GranolaGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is nice, but it wont provide a roof over your head and food on your table.
Postpone until next year and get yourselves some good jobs and some sort of savings account.
2007-03-12 09:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no, it just might be an excuse on his part.
2007-03-12 08:14:26 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋