A lady brings a baby to the Dr for a check up, after looking at the baby, the Dr is worried because the baby is underweight. Is this baby bottle fed or breast fed, the Dr asks. "he's breast fed", she replies. The Dr tells the lady to take off her shirt so he can examine her breast. He pinches, squeezes, and rubs them, and says... Well that's the problem you have no milk, no wonder he's underweight. The lady replies, "Well that's because I'm his grandmother, but I'm sure glad I came today, I can bring him again next week if you'd like".
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2007-03-11 18:51:44 · 10 answers · asked by Speedy 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Have a joke to share? Best one gets 10 pts!
2007-03-11 18:52:14 · update #1
Why did humpty dumpty throw his wife off the wall??
He wanted to see her crack.
2007-03-11 19:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by lando 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."
"Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?"
"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
2007-03-11 19:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by jooria 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lmao! What do you think of this one?
*
On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with Queen Elizabeth. He asked her, "How does one manage to run a country so smoothly?"
"That`s easy," she replied, "You surround yourself with intelligent ministers and advisors."
"But how can I tell whether they are intelligent or not?" he inquired.
"You ask them a riddle," she replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please send Tony Blair in."
When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?"
Blair replied, "That`s easy. The child was me."
"Very good," said the Queen, "You may go, now."
So President Bush went back to Washington and called in his chief of staff, Karl Rove. He said to him,
"I have a riddle for you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it was not your > > sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child?"
Rove replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine the answer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for a while?"
"Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the answer."
So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions, none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not knowing what he would tell the President.
As Rove was walking back to the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell approaching him. So he said,
"Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was the child?"
"That's easy," said Powell, "The child was me."
"Oh thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my job!" So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush,
"I think I know the answer to your riddle.
The child was Colin Powell!"
"No, you idiot!" shouted Bush,
"The child was Tony Blair!"
2007-03-11 19:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one! Here's one for you........
Why did the two blonds not make it all the way to Disneyland?
When they were almost there, they saw a sign that said, "Disneyland left"
so they turned around and went home.
2007-03-11 19:19:20 · answer #4 · answered by SnoAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, you're really good...
here's another one...
a woman asks her friend if there was a way to get attention from her husband who was very attached to his mother. her friend took her shopping as a solution.
that night when the woman's husband came home, she was in their bedroom wearing sexy, black lingerie.
her husband starts crying and asks, " how did my mum die?"
2007-03-11 19:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by al 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
funny
2007-03-11 18:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one....but i have no jokes
2007-03-11 20:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by grown n sexy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the fire in the Library for Blondes?
-------Both books burned------------------One of them hadn't even been colored in yet!!!
2007-03-11 19:11:00 · answer #8 · answered by stedyedy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HAHAHA omg that was gooddd!
2007-03-11 19:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
2007-03-11 21:35:57 · answer #10 · answered by conan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋