Is abstinence really so far fetched?

Question

I am 22. I am still "waiting". I hope that my husband to be is too. Why is this so unbelievable, or worse yet, seen as being the exception instead of the norm?

Answer 1

hey im only 16, but I have the same moral standards as you do. Im waiting for the right person, and hoping that hes doing the same. However, as unbelievable and old fashioned as this may be, I think if you live a sexual sin free life and wait till marriage to have sex , God will reward you with your significant other. Your marriage will even be that much better becasue you waited.Media, watching our friends, even our favorite tv shows etc, they all make sex appear to be no strings attached and just pleasurable, when in reality if you have sex there are consequences not only to your own body and life, but even to that relationship.

Anyways, The majority of the world has a low moral level, and sure maybe it isn't exaclty what some people call normal- but people no matter who, always respect a virgin or a person who waited for marriage

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

♥byee

Answer 2

I am with you in that I believe abstinence is the best way to go, however, I do believe that it is truly only the exception. You don't need me to go on and on about all the stuff teenagers are participating in, nor do I need to point out all the places that you can find sexually explicit images. It's just there. It's the norm. And we have to accept that.

As far as whether it is reasonable to raise your teenager to be abstinent, I think it is worth the effort. It's not a lost cause but one must "fight the good fight". All too often we find that certain groups will make the minimal effort to educate children about abstinence when in actuality, we all need a reality check to get people doing anything about the problem of sex before marriage.

I sincerely hope that you are able to fulfill your commitment to yourself and your husband and whatever other parties are involved. It is truly a feat to be accomplished.

Answer 3

Because the majority of people your age do not practice abstinence. The chances that you will find a man who is a virgin at your age is slim, but it's still a slight possibility, although unlikely.

I practiced abstinence until I met my husband. I was a virgin, but he'd been with three girls before me. We were nineteen when we met, and we've been married now for nine years.

If you want to practice abstinence, good for you, hon! Everyone should follow their own heart in this area, and most importantly, practice safe sex if they do have sex. But, I will say that if I had to do it again, I would not have waited, not because I'm not happy with how things turned out ... :-) ... but because I feel it would have been better for me as a person to have had experience dealing with intimate relationships before being married.

Answer 4

It depends on whether a humans brain and endocrine system is functioning and how much religious control has been worked into their upbrining.

If there isn't much behavioral control forced over the normal behavior, humans are driven to seek reproductive oppurtunities. (Read: sex) With the marginilization of religion currently, this is becoming more the case than before.

If religion is applied enough, it builds the ability to delay the natural cycle through discipline and to hold off sex until it's religiously proscribed.

So, if you are wanting a virgin husband, seek out someone religious...

...then expect to have to get him to listen to you and learn how to be a decent lover.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Abstaining is a personal choice--everything a person does is a personal choice--if you abstain--it is your business--no matter what-it is what you decide. It has no bearing on anyone else--if a guy didn't wait and that bothers you--find someone else--it was his choice. The morals of our world have gotten rather poor---sexing up the culture is a known advertising ploy---the choices made by kids today are made under some silly misinformation and pressure--no one wants to say NO to a kid anymore----so stick to it--stop thinking about it--have fun and someday a really nice guy will come along. good luck to you

Answer 6

Its the society we live in. Don't worry about it, as long as you are doing this for healthy reasons (i.e., religious or moral, not like, and please excuse me for saying this, you were raped as a child or something). It sounds like you are doing this for healthy reasons, so more power to you, its very admirable. Please don't be surprised if you are unable to find a man who is a virgin at you're age, tho. Remaining a virgin is extremely hard for a man to do, as there are literally thousands of pressures on him to do it. Please be understanding. More than likely, if you do find man who is "abstinent", it will be only after a traumatic situation forced him to be so, or he has discovered religion (re: born again, although I hate that inane title). In my situation, I grew up Catholic, but grew away from it for a time, and made some bad mistakes I regret with a woman i thought I loved at the time, a woman thought I wanted to marry. I became abstinent when I met my fiance, who is a virgin and will remain so until marriage. You will find this story common amongst abstinent men. God Bless.

Answer 7

It is the exception, but that doesn't make waiting a bad thing. It is far easier to give into temptation and get gratified temporarily. If you feel waiting is right for you...go for it. I think it is admirable, and I imagine your future husband will be thrilled that you waited just for him.

I didn't wait. I don't feel badly about it, but I did have relationships that didn't work. Sometimes I hung onto relationships that I shouldn't have because we had been sexually intimate. I don't know about everyone, but for me that causes a bond, and it can also make it harder to let go of the relationship.

Answer 8

It's not unbelievable. It's not necessarily the norm but who cares? It's what is right for you and if you set your standards and keep them set you will find someone worthy of them, I promise. Don't worry what other people think. If a guy doesn't respect your decision he's not the right guy for you!

Answer 9

Not everyone finds sex easy to resist, and not everyone is as determined to keep waiting until marriage. And many people don't think that it is as important to wait as you might. It's all a matter of personal choice, and what's important to you.

If you are willing to wait, there are men who are also waiting, and they aren't so hard to find as you might think. Just give it time and keep your hopes up.

Answer 10

it is unbelievable because it's amazing that some people make it all the way through puberty, and then high school and even college, and all of the out-of-control hormones and urges that go along with those years, without succumbing to sex. i don't see anything wrong with that at all, it's admirable, but i happen to be glad that i didnt wait. :)