I am a virgin...he is not....?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a month and we have known each other for a year. We spend a lot of time together and I have fallen for him hard. He tells me he loves me. I am waiting for marriage and he knows this. He has had sex before and he respects the fact that I want to wait. The other night things got out of hand and he started to move my hand down towards his "area" and he started to "dry hump" me. Afterwards I felt bad and then he felt bad seeing as how I felt. He has told me that he honestly wants to have sex, because he is a male, but because he loves me he doesn't want to have sex until I am ready (obviously that would be marriage). Is it unfair for me to expect or hope that he will wait for me? Honest opinions much appreciated. Thanks!

Answer 1

Waiting until marriage is a destructive, obsolete custom.

It puts huge pressure on people to learn sexual communication after they're married, in a super-fast drastic context change from how they viewed sex beforehand.

If you insist on this, you'd do best to have a fast engagement, then be slow to have kids. In other words, make the period after marriage be of the kind most people have before marriage.

And don't be at all surprised if either:

1. He leaves you.
2. You two rush into marriage, and then realize you never should have married.

Actually, #2 is an even bigger reason not to have kids soon. If you don't have sex until you're married, there's an excellent chance you'll be best off getting a quick divorce. Obviously, it would be MUCH better if you didn't have kids at that point.