Im looking for the worlds greatest joke. C mon give me your best, i would prefer LONG jokes but ANY are fine.?

Question

Thanks

Answer 1

The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room.
No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole
time,so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning
with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all
night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same
thing -hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!"

He said , "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football
player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed
and bushy tailed.

"Good morning," he said. They couldn't believe it!

They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed
and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

Answer 2

Just a reminder........

Why Parents Have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Answer 3

A man went to a restaurant for a nice dinner. He ordered his appetizer and waiting for the waiter to serve him. A waiter come by and the man noticed a spoon in all the waiters' shirt-pockets.
Curiously he asked the waiter, "wats dat spoon for?"
The waiter replied, "its so that we dont need to waste time to fetch one back in the kitchen."
The man said, "thats a brilliant idea."
So the man continues to eat his appetizer and he intentionally drops his spoon. Then the same waiter came and gave the man the spoon in his pocket. After that, the man ordered his main course. This time he noticed a thread comming out of all the waiters' zipper.
Curiously he asked the same waiter, "um why is there thread comming out from your zipper?"
The waiter replied "it's so to save the water bill, becaz it is tied to our dick and when we go to pee, we just pull the thread and not touching it which save the time to wash hands and thus save the water bill."
The man replied, "good idea, but how you get it back in?"
The waiter replied, "i dont know about the others but i use the spoon."

Answer 4

A pedophile is taking a six year old into the woods at night. She starts to cry, "I'm scared!" "How do you think I feel" the Pedophile replied, "I have to walk out of these woods alone."



The Pope and a Bishop were seated next to each other on an airplane, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. He leaned over to the Bishop and asked, "Excuse me, can you think of a four letter word that ends with "N-T" that describes a female relative? The Bishop thinks for a second and replies, "Why yes, A-U-N-T!"
"Ahhhh! Thank you!" the Pope responded. "Do you have an eraser I could borrow?"

Answer 5

a man went for an interview for a job.
the interviewer asked 'think that you are in a closed room with no doors or windows and no way to escape. and the room catches fire. how will you save yourself?"
the man said "i will stop thinking"
and he got the job.

Answer 6

A clown was having sex with a woman and after they were finished the clown says " boy that was great. How was that for you?"
the woman said. "I don't know...it felt kind of funny"

Answer 7

wow, your really good...

here's another one...

a woman asks her friend if there was a way to get attention from her husband who was very attached to his mother. her friend took her shopping as a solution.

that night when the woman's husband came home, she was in their bedroom wearing sexy, black lingerie.

her husband starts crying and asks, " how did my mum die?"

Answer 8

What does Osama Bin Laden and a pair of pantyhose have in common?????
They both make a bush sweat!

Answer 9

I HAVE TWO GEORGE BUSH AND TONY BLAIR