She cries even when I leave her with her dad or even when I take a shower! She is also very shy. Any tips on how to relieve her anxiety and help her to play with other children. I left her in the nursery at the gym for 30 minutes and she cried the whole time. Please help!!!
2007-03-11 18:12:56 · 8 answers · asked by wendy l 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My daughter is the same way. I stayed at home w/ her until she was about 1 1/2 and then I started college and began working. I put her in a daycare and for the first month she would cry but eventually she got better and now she loves going. She still cries when I leave at night to go to class but she will eventually calm down and go back to what she was doing. If I'm home she has to be right by me, taking showers, if I step outside, I'm hoping she will grow out of being so clingy to me, but it just takes time and patience. I couldn't believe how much more independent she's become since being at the daycare.
Good luck!
2007-03-15 06:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I teach preschool and I know how hard it can be for them to adjust. Since she was lucky enough to be home with you for 3 years it will make it seem a bit harder but she will be fine.
Suggestions I give my parents are to take her on a tour of the school before she starts. Let her meet the teacher and interact with her class for a little bit. (I would call and find the best time for the teacher too.) Ask the teacher for a typical schedule and then make a book for her that shows her what to expect at school. I help my parents out with this and if you explain what you are doing I am sure they will be more than willing.
I put something like Sally's School Day and a picture of the child on the front. Then on page one I put 8:00 and then draw the clock at 8:00. We arrive at school. Mommy helps Sally put her coat in her cubby. I give Mommy a kiss and a hug and then go and play puzzles or look at books in my classroom. (put a picture of the cubby and a picture or playthings)
Page 2: 8:30 and the clock. We get ready for morning snack and then use the potty. (I cut out pictures of breakfast foods and then a toilet clip art)
Page 3: 9:00 and the clock. Now we all sit on the rug for circle time. (I put a picture of my class sitting for circle time.)
Page 4: 9:30 and the clock. Table Fun! (I put pictures of art supplies)
Page 5: 10:00 and clock. Center Free Time! (I put pictures of kids playing at different centers)
Page 6: 11:00 and clock. Recess!
Page 7: 12:00 and clock. Lunch
Page 8: 12:30 and clock. Bathroom and Books
Page 9: 1:00 Naptime
Page 10: 3:00 Wake up, mats away, snack time!
I do this on 1/2 pages of construction paper. It really makes the day seem less scary if she knows exactly what is going to happen next and how much more she has to do before you come and get her. Since they don't have a concept of time it makes it a little scary.
I also try to make it sound really quick: Okay, we are going to have breakfast, circle time, play, lunch, nap and then it is almost time to go! Seems like 10 minutes worth of stuff. :)
I also encourage the parents to put pictures from home under their cubbies. If they get sad I suggest they go to their "happy place" and they really seem to go and get it together quickly. They also love showing off Mommy and Daddy.
The important thing is to not stress yourself. Dont' make this harder than it is. She'll pick up on your anxiety or guilty feelings.
Keep things clear and simple. And my classroom motto: Quick Goodbyes Means Drier Eyes. Don't drag the good byes out. Don't sneak out. Have a routine and stick to it.
Good Luck! It will get better! SD
2007-03-11 18:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by SD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her to her own devices. My daughter went through it when I started to work when she was a little over two years. She screamed and cried at the day care for two solid weeks. The third Monday I dropped her off they said that they would give it one more week. When I arrived to pick her up that afternoon she came running AT me not TO me, she began trying to shove me out the door and told me to "go home!" it seems she had finally made a friends and she had fun playing with the other kids and didn't want mom to disturb her fun. After that dropping her off was a breeze.
2007-03-11 20:29:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it time. take her to the nusery at the gym and stay with her. Play with the other kids with her. Have you thought about getting her in preschool. It will be hard at first but she will have fun once she's used to it. I remember when I was 4 and my 1st day of preschool I screamed and cryed and told my mom i didn't want to go. But i got used to it. then one day when i was sick my mom wouldn't let me go to preschool and i cried becasuse i wanted to go. lol also tell the care giver "her dad" not to argue with her. when she crys just say " i know, i understand, i'm sorry" give her sympathy and let her cry it out. She will learn on her own that you will come back. Also don't ever sneak out it will make her anxiety worse. give her a hug and kiss goodbye and walk out even if she is screaming. i know this is hard. it's harder in the parent but it will work after a couple of times and it is what is best.
I was a classroom asssistant at a preschool and this one 3 yr old boy kept missing school. we found out it was because he would cry and not want to come so his mother would let him stay home. the next time when she brought him in i had to hold him and let him scream. I just gave him sympathy and rubbed his back. I let him calm himself down at his own pace. After about half an hour (it seemed longer) he had calmed down. He slowly joined in with the other kids. He did not hate me or his mother. He actually wanted me to play with him.
2007-03-11 19:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by wsperingwasp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying consistent is your best bet. The more you carry out a routine the more predictable and reassuring her life will be. Although it is super hard, remind her during the day "I am going bye, bye for a while, but I will be right back." There are also some simple books that you can read to her like "Where is My Mother" by Dr. Seuss. Good luck!
2007-03-12 06:05:19 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter does this now (shes 19 months). This is what my husband and I do. We get her interested in something else (like Blue's Clues-she loves that show) and then I sneak out. If she doesnt see me leave then she doesnt even notice I'm gone (unless she gets tired-shes used to having me there when she goes to sleep). I dont know if this will help but it works for me. Good luck.
2007-03-11 19:03:08 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing better than being a stay at home parent! I am the stay at home dad of a 3 year old daughter and there's nothing like it. Be carefull who you leave her with and if you can, go ahead and stay home with her.It sounds like she needs you!
2007-03-11 18:17:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down and tell her that you will be coming back to her, that you love her and you won't be long, and then you will play or read to her.
2007-03-11 18:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by coffeeup11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will happen in the start as she is not use to this.. but later she will become normal.. it happend with my daughter too..
2007-03-11 18:17:05 · answer #9 · answered by Richa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋