Although I had some real reservations at first, I've now been seeing a girl who happens to be 14 years younger than I for a few months. I honestly don't think about it as much as I did as first, but it's still very strange to think that when I was in high school, she was a toddler.
I really adore this girl and feel closer to her than I have to anyone in a long time, but the age difference thing really does stay in the back of my mind. It seems that we would be in two completely different places in our lives, and that it just wouldn't be practical or realistic to think that we could have a stable, lasting long-term relationship.
Does anyone have an opinion about this?
2007-03-11 18:08:40 · 27 answers · asked by Misunderst00d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is definitely a very mature 19-year-old, and I don't think about the age difference at all when we're together and just enjoying each other's company. It's just when we are apart that I start thinking about whether the age difference will create a problem if we do end up in the long term relationship we seem to be headed for.
I do care about her very much and wouldn't ever want to hurt her by leading her into something that is destined to fail or be very complicated or difficult, but I really don't see that happening. I hope I'm not just blinded by the way I feel about her.
I have thought about the fact that she hasn't really had her live-free-and-crazy-with-reckless-abandon years yet, and I've been there, done that. That's my biggest concern, I guess. That by keeping her with me, I will be robbing her of some kind of essential life experiences.
2007-03-11 18:36:58 · update #1
If you two are happy together and want to be with each other, why not? You're both adults.
2007-03-11 18:11:03 · answer #1 · answered by jjc92787 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CRIKY! Do I have an opinion? I had a long term relationship with a guy 18 years younger than me for 5 years. I was married to a guy 22 years younger than me for 7 miserable years after that! It seems different to me if the guy is so much older, than if a woman is. With the woman older, it's more an issue with her 'aging' appearance, which is what society put on us. Somehow, older men in a relationship, at least as much older as you are to her, might work, but there are so many variables. Her maturity, your immaturity, her financial needs vs. your financial HAVES! So... I actually don't have any problem with it personally, but I fear for you, because older women with younger men are usually set financially and don't need to worry except if the 'younger' guy is out for what ever you can give him. It's the same either way. hehe BTW, I am already involved again with a guy who I fell in love with and neither of us even knew each other's real ages! So, there ya go! RIGHT, WILL??
As far as her reckless and crazy years goes... not all of us go through that. I didn't, and I'm no saint! What you need to do is talk to her about how you feel and what your concerns are. If she can't handle the 'talk', get out NOW!
2007-03-12 01:37:52 · answer #2 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can work depending on the people. Maybe she is a very mature 19 yr old? Being in my 30's also, I would be very careful though just because, she hasn't hit that big "21" yet. Sometimes, that can tend to mess things up. She hasn't experienced the bar scene and all that nonsense we did in our 20's. Although, there are some people who don't really go thru that and are mature enough to handle it. I guess you just really have to know her and what kind of a person she is. But yeah, I think it has possibilities of working out.
2007-03-12 01:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please, don't listen to negs here, these relationship can really work but only If you're more concerned with how you really feel about her, instead of thinking of the age difference all the time. I was always attracted to men older than me and my boyfriend was 21 year older than me, and it didn't bother me, we enjoyed being together.
At 19 the girl can be an absolute adult, mature and wise; the relationship is normal as long as there is a feeling and respect between both of you. Enjoy being together!
2007-03-19 22:44:27 · answer #4 · answered by Wannaknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont really think its such a problem..if nothing is hindering both of you to pursue that relationship,except your age, then why not? As long as both of you really love and care for each other..Treat her as someone your age, dont always think of your age difference..that might hinder you from showing affection and expressing more how you feel. if you both feel the same, it doesnt get any better thatn that!
i have the same situation, but the problem is the guy doesnt know i love him..He was my teacher way back in high school and i have been feeling "something" since i started spreading a joke of me liking him..
i really cant say i can relate to your problem but i can sympathize..Goodluck!
2007-03-12 01:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by mskissmyasthma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it really depends on where she is in her personal journey. there can be huuge differences in mental age. one 19 year old can be very mature and wise and the other 33 year old can be still a child. (for instance, lol) i think it can work if both parties are compatible and connected. if youre both happy, and feel close enough in mental age, then theres not problem. however, you as the older person need to take it upon yourself to watch for signs that it might not work out. if theres alot of little things she does that annoy you now, be kind and break it off before it gets too far.
2007-03-12 01:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by sslowbliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this woman who was in her senior year in high school. She was dating a young man her age for about 2 years. His mother died just before they graduated and guess what? in less than a year, she married the young man's father. She was 19 at the time of the marriage and her husband was 40. And my story (which is true) gets better. They have been together for 35 years. She keeps him young at heart and he keeps her grounded. How great is that? so do not obsess any longer. It can work.
2007-03-12 01:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question.
May , December relationships can work but if the one partner is in their teen years you do stand a chance of losing her to a younger man who she shares more in common with.
This however may not happen.
Proceed as long as your heart tells you to do so.
In this day and age 19 year old can be very mature.
I know I was, but did not have much interest in men at all at that age as I was busy pursuing my scholastic endeavors.
2007-03-20 01:07:40 · answer #8 · answered by makeda m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that age isnt really a factor, unless, you feel you are not what is best for that other person, I think it is very good that you thought about how being with her would effect her life. I think that as long as both of you guys are happy and care about eachother to take the relationship seriously, then there is nothing wrong with it. Best of luck to you, and dont stress about it. :)
2007-03-19 22:09:40 · answer #9 · answered by xox Rebekah xox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your intentions are pure and the 19 year old is a woman not just a girl. True love can surface at any age, she is of AGE.
Allow lots of room for growth and individual pursuits. Protect yourself from heart break remember she could just as well dump you for an younger guy. Above all else no babies!
PS...Don't erase phone log.
ENJOY!
2007-03-12 01:22:15 · answer #10 · answered by xman77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a nice guy who really cares for this girl.If she is happy as you claim to be then just give your relationship a lot of time, see if it grows into love..Age really does not matter its the people involved that does..{my source} my parents..My dads 13 years older than my mom..and they have been together for 23 years +..Best of luck.
2007-03-19 19:15:32 · answer #11 · answered by That Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋