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Do you know what percentage of children grow up to be like their parents? And if so can we avoid it? I wonder how? I really don't want to grow up and act like my mother..I mean i love her and all...she just has some deep depression problems, and other things..it seems i'm becoming somewhat like her now..Please advise..

2007-03-11 18:00:21 · 11 answers · asked by cutegirlin_tn 5 in Family & Relationships Family

11 answers

Yep, pretty much ...

The best way to not evolve into your mama is to realize that you are like her in many ways, and accept that at times those personality traits are valuable to you. If you can face the truth, accept it, and appreciate when it's appropriate, then you are well on your way to living in a healthy way. It's when we pretend a facet of ourselves doesn't exist that we live in denial.

Oh, and if your mom has depression, it's a biological defect and you can't change biology without medication. You may have to be on meds as well, but look at it this way ... if you treat your depression, you are giving yourself the best opportunity in life to be happy ... which also keeps you from "turning into your mom."

Good luck, hon.

2007-03-11 18:11:35 · answer #1 · answered by Kristi 3 · 1 0

We do have a tendency to "ape" our parents, it makes sense since we have spent so much time in their presence.
They are our greatest role models--for good or bad, but I don't think it is a life sentence.
My mother was a functioning alcoholic--everyone thought she was this great professional, and she was great at her job, she just sucked at being my mother.
I use her behavior as my ":What Not To Do" as a parent role model.
We have free will, you really control the kind of life you can and will have.
I always had faith that I would be fine and have a good life--even if it was just to spite her at times--I believed that I would be a good mother, and I am.
Be aware of your actions, your thoughts and your reactions to things.
If you feel like a victim, you will be a victim.
If you believe in yourself, that you will be a success, it will drive you in a way that will promote success.
You are not your mother, only her offspring.
Be thankful of all that she does do for you in your life and believe your future will be good.

2007-03-11 18:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by smp1969 3 · 2 0

i think that your father did no longer reject you in my opinion, yet rejected the household projects of parenthood. He appears like a very egocentric, chilly, and irresponsible individual. somebody else mentioned that blood would not make kinfolk & I consider that thoroughly. I think of that another grownup male acted as a father determine on your existence & that of course this individual did an amazing job for the reason which you're a good individual. i've got purely be attentive to you a quick time, yet you seem the form of guy that i wish my daughter will ultimately marry (you will ought to attend awhile for the reason that she's purely 2 years old). I used to artwork in the social centers field, and parental abandonment is between the biggest themes which will reason a newborn to act out & be afflicted by shallowness issues. particularly of consistent to pursue a courting with somebody who of course would not choose to be every person'S dad, I say only reject him in return. you have extra useful issues to do than difficulty approximately this cad. possibly you will discover some thank you to be a great function style to slightly boy who's in a similar situations you have been in. right here in the U.S. we've an employer referred to as huge Brothers, huge Sisters that does only that. It pairs adults with babies who's parent is absent for despite the fact that reason. It helps that youngster to enhance a courting with a very constructive function style & teaches them that no longer all adults are going to desert them. i think of mentoring a newborn might enhance your self-worth & may well be a very efficient adventure for you and the youngster. On yet another be conscious, I heard this line a pair of million cases at the same time as i become nonetheless unmarried-you ought to love your self in the past every person else will love you-and that's real. you're an invaluable guy & you ought to have confidence this & understand which you need to be enjoyed.

2016-11-24 21:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yep! it happens i am 36 and i act just like my mom in every way, its amazing how life works in mysterious ways, i always said to myself i will never be like my parents, but now that i have got my own kids it happening without me even realizing it.

2007-03-11 23:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by monica4rd 2 · 0 0

We do grow up with some of the characteristics of our parents, but we can choose to not be like them in some ways. I didn't like the behavior of my Mom, and have tried all of my life to not be like her. Please try to be understanding of you Mother's illness and be kind, respectful and loving toward her. You will be glad you did. Good luck.

2007-03-11 18:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1 0

its funny...i never wanted to be like my mother, but now as i get older (23) i act just like her, and find myself doing all the little things she does. I dont know if you can avoid it, cause i tried to but now i cant help

2007-03-11 18:10:09 · answer #6 · answered by alissa4boo@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1 0

LOL i always said i never would say the things my mom said...well i lied to myself..i find myself acting more and more like my mom and i have no idea why LOL i think its just cause thats what we grew up hearing and seeing so naturally we learn and do what we are taught to ...

2007-03-11 21:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by touchmeforever2004 2 · 0 0

It will if you rebel against your parents but if you notice some things that are good about your parents your least likely to pick up bad habits.

2007-03-11 18:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by joejoe 1 · 0 0

I don't know, I think that it is inevitable that we become our parents. I swore as a child and young adult that I would NEVER be like them, lol, and the older I get the more I see them in myself. It is ironic.

2007-03-11 18:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by Karen 3 · 1 0

you have your own life, your own personality. you don't have to grow up like your parents. although it is true that parents can influence their children very much. but the point is-you stick to what you believe in. i'm sure you have your own principles in life, your own convictions. don't follow what you see in your parents. follow what you believe is right, what you believe is what you want.

2007-03-11 18:20:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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