Is It Depression ??? And What will HELP????

Question

I am a stay home mom of a 2 year old son i live 15 miles away from town and 2 miles away from a main road i have no car and only a few friends that i talk to on the computer now with saying that ..... some days i wake up and im am fine and others im fine one min and the next im ready to rip someones head off (not really).... I cant sleep and i cry all the time my husband tryes to help me out in every way he can but sometimes that just makes it worse i really dont want to go on antidepressants and im not really good about sitting down to talk to someone about my problems i was raised that family buisness stays at home so it is kinda hard to talk to my friends can any one help me?????

Answer 1

Make sure you get out more...Sunshine helps!!

Answer 2

It's so much more complicated than most people seem to think. It may be depression, it certainly sounds like it. It may be a rough patch. The complexities of asking for and receiving help are many -- don't believe anyone who gives you an absolute answer as to how counseling, talking to friends, or taking meds will make you feel. After all, you are a unique individual. However, sometimes guilt and pain are necessary steps on the path to a more fulfilling life.

I'm a fan of close friendships, the mental health profession, and medications if administered in a beneficial way. Try to keep in mind that your real friends want to see you happy and that people who enter the mental health field do so to relieve suffering.

I won't offer you a "treatment" over the internet, I think that doing that would, in effect deny how real and how serious the pain you feel is. I do think counseling is generally worth a try: some people find it helpful, some don't. Improving your social life can also help. I've found friends who I can really lean on when I need support and I've also found that joining a group or supporting a cause can help me feel empowered, but these things are not necessarily a cure-all.

If you can join some kind of group (sports, hobby, therapy, parenting, etc.) that can be helpful -- you might be able to find one on the internet and arrange to carpool there. There are also many on-line support groups.

Best of luck. I hope you are able to feel well soon.

Answer 3

Maybe you just need a break once in while. Find a reliable baby sitter and try to get out sometimes and do something fun with your husband or with friends.

If that doesn't help, talk to a medical doctor. I've been on antidepressants since about 1983 and it's not that big of a deal; I got two college degrees since then and got a good start on a third college degree, I have worked full time 1987 too. I don't see how antidepressants have hurt my life in any way. Some people think it's weak or whatever, but they don't know what they're talking about.

Answer 4

It sounde more like you are just unhappy with the way things are right now, rather than being clinically depressed or bi-polar or anything like that. The attitude of someone who is bi-polar can change on a whim. It sounds to me like you are mainly unhappy about your day-to-day situation. You could talk to someone about it (a counselor, I mean), but you shouldn't jump to the conclusion that you have some mental disorder. If I were stuck at home and didn't have a car, and had the strees of a toddler and lacked the level of social interaction I needed, I'd probably be down in the dumps, too. Now, I hope that doesn't make you feel like your situation is pathetic. I don't mean it that way. I mean to say that your feelings may be perfectly NORMAL and that you don't have any mental issues. (For example, I've been looking for a job for six months and haven't been offered a position I want--I'm down in the dumps about that, but who wouldn't be?)

One other question to ask: have you felt this way since your child was born? My aunt had Postpartum Depression for two years after her last child was born and received treatment for it and felt much better.

Answer 5

You need to be around people more. Learn to drive and get a car. I'm sure there are places where young moms with little kids get together. Possibly a play group for the kids and moms. What about church, joining and see what kinds of activities they have for young families. I don't know about your situation about the car but does your husband drive, then you could drive him to work and have the car for the day once in a while (even if its far).

Answer 6

Sounds like depression to me. One of the ways depression manifests itself is anger. This is possibly severe depression. The SSRIs such as Prozac can turn your life around. You may also want to consider Wellbutrin.

You say you don't want to take antidepressants without giving a reason as to why. The SSRIs do not cure depression, they treat it. They are also non-addictive.

I can help you by suggesting you find the best antidepressant for YOU. Also the best dosage. You'll have to talk with a physician, try a psychiatrist, because you'll need a prescription. Best wishes!

Answer 7

I have a friend that doesn't believe in therapy, even though it could really help her. I'm in therapy and it really is helpful in getting my frustration out, my hurt, my pain everything. Plus I get alot of insight. A therapist is completely confidential, its like having a best friend to tell all your secrets to only this on you know won't go and whisper it to another friend. Plus while they will work with you to help you come to terms with somethings, its not a place of judgement. Its a place to openly vent about everything in your life that makes you want to pull your hair out.
I know you don't want anti-depresents, but if they helped hun, whats really wrong with that? You'd be a better mother and a wife, because you wouldn't be constantly sad anymore. Its not something to disreguard.
When your depressed and I understand this from personal experience, even if you don't know it, you really feel down deep and subconciously that things are hopeless. Well therapy won't work for me, well anti-depresents won't work for me either. Nothing will work for me I'm trapped. I'm never going to feel better.
But the moment you try something, and you feel that change, you realize how you were holding yourself back. One other real quick thing I can suggest. I know money maybe tight, but I think it could be so bennificial for you to have a car to go into town, and maybe get a part time job. Having that alone could help you feel better. It would be a break away from the normal everyday routine. Plus its optional so you could leave it if you wanted.

Answer 8

Sure sounds like depression. It also sounds like it has been with you for a while. From personal experience it won't go away on its own. I think, in general, women may respond to psycho-therapy better than men(group sessions or one on one with therapist) but anti-depressant meds help everyone. Sometimes the local GP Doc may not have training or understanding about depression so it is important that you persevere to get help. It may not involve or be caused by your husband or or family but they are probably thinking that they have done something to bring on your grief. That may or may not be the case. What is important is to seek help NOW and work on other peoples feelings later. The pain of depression is too severe not to seek help in overcoming it. Please do it now. You and your loved ones will be better for it.

Answer 9

I think that you really need to seek professional advise other than finding an answer to something that could be somewhat serious... I am a stay at home mom of 3 small children and sometimes it can be overwhelming at times when i am here all day and hubbys at work al day with no adults to talk to. But as for mood swing as such realy need to be analized by a trained medical personel. Please do it for your little one as well as yourself... both of you will be happier. PROFESSIONAL ADVISE on this yahoo questions is a bit risky to take (smile)

Answer 10

You need some stimulation other than sitting home watching a two year old. You need to bet out of your rut and meet people and be around a few people. Take your son and go to town with your husband occasionally.

Answer 11

I agree with the general trend on here, you are probably not going to get out of your depression without pills. If you take aspirin for pain, what is wrong with an antidepressant for emotional pain? The reason that there is even any kind of debate on this issue anymore is because good treatments for depression are still really new. But they are effective, for most people!!

Maybe you are too isolated and the rural life is not for you. If you are feeling a lack of social support, you will have to ask yourself if it is worth it to live in the middle of nowhere. I am very rural too, 8 miles from town, but I have a car and get social support, and I actually prefer to be alone a lot. Sometimes, with hubby here, there is too much togetherness. The lady who lived here before had 5 kids and no car, and she was obviously very depressed (wasn't showering, the yard and house was a mess, even broken glass and barbed wire were left around). She walked to a neighbors house with the kids and did a little visiting that way, even if you can't or won't talk about your problems, it's a relief. Do you have pals with cars that would come visit? Are you involved in church? (I'm not, but it's a good social support for those who believe. Also, I'm going to say that my husband watches the mass on TV regularly, and he finds that very comforting, also praying. I, unfortunatly, lost my faith due to such severe long-term depression). Pick up the phone and call people more, it's hard to do that when you are depressed, but it helps just to chat about the drought, whatever.

You may also want to reexamine your belief that you shouldn't talk to others about your problems, that is an unhealthy belief, and has increased suffering probably as long as there have been people.

Ok, so here are my depression tips (but I think you need meds too)


If your depression seems to be more of a problem in the winter, try to get more sun. You could have seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, or your depression could have a seasonal component, meaning you can get depressed other times of the year, but you tend to have more trouble in the winter. A light box is really good if you can afford one (about $300 online, don't get it at a local store, they will charge more for a light less than 1/2 as bright). Since I will always have a mood disorder, I have put in extra windows, keep the drapes mounted so they don't cover them, make sure I spend a lot of time in southern exposure rooms, painted the walls peach and yellow, mostly. I even have a skylight, although that was here when I moved in (and I LOVE it, it helps a lot!!!!!) SAD is very common when you live up north.

Try meditation tapes like progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. They may seem silly at first, but they work!! They help reduce stress, which makes depression worse. You can get The Anxiety and Phobia workbook from the library, and have hubby read one of the exercises in there, and make a tape or CD. I used the free Audacity program to record into the computer, then digitally altered my voice, because I can't stand to hear myself on tape.

Isolation makes depression worse, even CAUSES it. There are loads of research studies that support this. We are social animals. I am a very , very introverted person, and I still need to get out with others.

Exercise at least 1/2 hour a day, and anytime you feel really depressed. Exercise is a great mood stabilizer and cuts down on anxiety a lot. I garden a lot (then I'm stuck canning all that produce).

Here are some good "sleep hygeine" tips so you can sleep better. Like go to bed and get up about the same time each day, even weekends. Don't use your bedroom to watch TV and read and use the computer and all that-just use the room as a bedroom normally would be used. Fooling around is OK (and that helps depression a lot, nobody ever mentions that because it is so embarrassing. Depression makes you not want it, but if you normally liked it, it will help). Don't do stuff that pumps you up right before bed, like exercising and using the computer. You want to use that last hour to wind down-Take a bath after the kids are in bed? Make the bedroom really dark, cover up the clock radio, even so the light doesn't shine at you. If the hooty owls and racoon fights are a problem, use a noise generator (makes wave sounds and the like) to cover up sounds. Avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening.

Put a lot of colorful things around the house, happy type things, and keep the blinds open and let the sun in. I use a lot of yellow. Get yourself some flowers. Put on some pretty clothes and makeup, even though you aren't going out. Make a list of things that make you happy. Here's some things on my list: A basket full of fluffy kittens, bread fresh from the oven, Fireworks popping on a warm summer evening, The first fireflies of the season, the scent of Jergen's cherry almond lotion, The crisp sound of a saltine cracker breaking, fresh sheets on the bed, etc. Use all your senses and read that list when you are breaking down.

Art or other creative expression is very healing to some (including me). I am learning to oil paint. Who cares if it turns out or not? I also have learned to sew and make pretty doll clothes that make kids happy, and sell some of them online.

Extra physical touch is very helpful. Most people in the US or UK are touch deprived, so hold hands more, hug more, give shoulder rubs, etc. A pet is good to cuddle with, too, if your home situation allows you to get one. (I'm an animal lover, don't get one if you can't commit to it for 15 years). Pets don't judge you. You'd want an indoor pet, I can't see how an outdoor farm dog or some barn cats would be there when you need them.

I have really really severe psychiatric symptoms from bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder, I mean, I have one of the most severe cases you can get. And I am able to control my behavior almost 100% even when I am suffering, and able to feel quite a bit better using some of these tricks, because the meds have only been partly effective for me. If I didn't do stuff like the above, I would be in an institution for sure. So please try some of these things, there is no harm in them, and they may provide some real relief for you. Pills plus counseling are the most effective treatment, but the counselors will suggest a lot of what I did above.

All the best to you!! I hope I helped!